Nine Lives
by BesserwisserForHire
Summary: 'They know who you are now. You have to stay with me or die.' Some surprises don't come in wrappings and sometimes love isn't more than a threshold away. He found this out the hard way, but then again, Boris never really liked birthdays. RayxBryan
1. Dirty Wrapper

Yes, I'm back! I'm back to torture our beloved boys till they can't stand life and begs for me to kill them.  
No, okay. Maybe not that much. But a lot. So, let's go through the basic stuff.

**Warnings;** Boris. (Really, I mean it. He's not very nice in this one. Not nice at all.) Alcohol, drugs, fighting, shooting, swearing, boy on boy love (I don't do lemons, folks) and aaaaaall that great stuff.  
**Disclaimer;** Let's say I own them. Just for fun. You know I'm lying anyway.  
**Pairings; **Rei/Boris. (Also known as Ray and Bryan) are the main pairing. Who knows, maybe some else will come along.  
**Other; **I'm going all 'original names' on your asses. If you don't know them, google it.

And if any of you read Fatal Flaws… ha ha. I don't think you noticed but I gave Boris the wrong eye colour in that one. It's not actually grey, it's blue. Yeah…

Let's roll!

* * *

**Chapter One  
****Dirty Wrapper**

Rei Kon is always confident, Rei Kon is always strong. He is always level-headed, does what is right and just and never stoops so low that he can't get up. Rei is intelligent, sensitive, caring, calm and always no matter what thinks before he leaps.

That's what they all used to say about me. Me, Rei Kon, the saint of the world. I was never the kind of person who would get involved with criminals or drugs, hurting others or, as the stubborn and independent person I am, let anyone hurt me without fighting back. Never. And yet, there I was. But don't get me wrong, I did fight back at first, I really did. I fought with all that I had, ferociously and refusing to die. I didn't want to become vermin, a delinquent, a youth gone wrong. I had such big plans for my life and none of them involved any of that.

And yet I would, no matter how hard I fought or how fast I ran, always end up at that dirty old floor, crying like a foolish little girl with her heart broken in thousands of dirty pieces. Around me bags and bags of cocaine, heroin, amphetamine… A gun to my right, a drunken and passed out murderer to my left. A bruise on my face, a lump in my throat and a hole in my heart. It was all so unlike me, so surreal. As if all of it was just another bad dream, one of many, blurry pictures melting into something morphed, deranged, deformed. As if my memories were not my own but borrowed from someone else, someone horrible.

After a while I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because when those golden pools would look back at me, I'd know that this horrible person – it was me. And I couldn't stand wondering 'how did I ever become this?' because the answer was always so blunt, so hurtful, so obvious and god damn silly.

How did I end up like this? It was simple.

As in any other story, it all started with a boy.

**X**

It had been a fairly boring week, if you want to be pessimistic about it. Work had been slow and the people around me even slower. Kai had a busy time dealing with his schedule and thus he had no time for me, his long time friend. Takao and Max were busy keeping Daichi from wrecking the bar they owned and worked at while Kenny had a hard time trying to keep Hiromi from turning alcoholic from all the nights she spent there, flirting, looking for Mr. Right. I guess I couldn't really blame her, after all I was kind of hoping for him to come along as well.

Yeah, you heard right, I said him. Me, Rei Kon, gay. What a great shock and disgrace. At least that's what my family thought and I guess I have to admit it's a little heartbreaking that my mother hasn't even called me during the years since I came out. But I guess it's not really her fault. I mean, now who will continue the legacy of the Kon family? My father was bristling. I almost feared his skin would tear just to give room for that explosion of fury. Even though I was just a child then, it's one of the few things I remember clearly, as if it has been tattooed into my brain.

You are not my son.

Funny how things should turn out, isn't it?

One big relief for me though was that Rai didn't take it as bad. He's a long time friend of mine after all and most Beybladers around the world simply shrugged and gave me that; 'Good for you, whatever. When's our next match?' kind of look. You know the one.

I tried not to think about it too much. I mean so what if my family rejected me? I had my friends, a job, a place to live in a town which wasn't half bad and there was always Beyblading. Even if I didn't attend that many tournaments anymore but I hadn't forgotten about Byakko, I never would be able to.

And yet there was something missing, a bitterness in my heart which lingered even in my happier moments. As if a shadow resided within me, waiting, biding its time until the right moment to strike. 'You're just lonely' Mao would say to me and wink her little wink, toss her pink hair over her shoulder and give me a Cheshire grin with no equivalent to match.

So I guess this is the part where most sane people run as fast as they can. But since it had been a Monday morning and my mind was moving slowly, I guess it was too much to ask of me to suspect that girls aren't always as innocent as they try to look. And that's how I ended up with a blind date. Don't ask me how she did it, with Mao no one never really knows. She scratches like a leopard but is charming like a housecat. No one knows how she gets her way but oh, does she get it.

I'm not very fond of blind dates, to be honest. I like to know the person a bit beforehand and I don't like jumping headfirst into relationships. And also, one never knows what to wear.

Standing outside the bar Takao and Max owned, _The Dragon and the Tortoise_ as it was so imaginatively named, I was finding it hard not to feel nervous. But of course I did, who wouldn't? Partially I was overly excited because what if this was right? What if this man actually was exactly whom I had been looking for? But then on the other hand, what if he found me boring? Or if he was boring? I didn't want to be rude or offensive and I especially didn't want to hurt any feelings, neither his nor my own. What if he didn't even show up?

Eventually, when I suspected I had been loitering for far too long, I pulled myself together and brought out the Tiger that everyone believed I had within me. As I entered the bar the old familiar smell of beer and food hit me like a slap in the face, warmth swallowing me accompanied by the chatter of early guests.

It was a popular bar, I assume because Takao owned it. During the evenings it was a simple place to eat, drink and have nice conversations to fine music. But after ten o'clock, oh boy did the party animals crawl out from their hiding places. The music turned up, the booze readied and the kitchen closed as the dance floor lit up in life and expectation. It was a great place to go if one felt for a good time and surely would you get it.

This time of day though the party hadn't started and I felt a little bit more content with that. I'm not a bore, mind you, but I think that if one should get to know a person you should start out calmly. Plunging headfirst never turns out well, which I had learned the hard way. So with a deep breath I looked around, telling myself it was going to be fine and perhaps I even partially believed it.

But to my bitter disappointment there was no one there.

Now wait a damn minute! Why wasn't he there? Where had he gone to? I thought Mao had specifically and quite violently told me that there would be a tall man, foreign but she never said where he came from, with piercing eyes and silver hair. But there was no such man around, only a few middle age couples eating their dinner and a few students having a round of beer. None of them fit the description and so it left me fairly shocked, and disappointed, insulted even. Had I just been stood up?

Perhaps Mao had just told me the wrong time? Or perhaps this man was just bad at punctuality? Was that good or bad? I didn't know, didn't really think there would come any out of pondering either. With a brave shrug I decided to wait and see what happened. If he hadn't arrived before the night was over I was going to go home and glare at John Hughes movies all night. And no, for the record it was not pouting. Really, it wasn't! It was just some good old self pitying in front of a TV screen, possibly with some sugary snacks within my grasp. Nothing abnormal and sulky there.

''Hey, Rei! Early today, eh?'' I heard a familiar voice cheer behind me.

I turned around to see the ever brilliant, youthful and perhaps overwhelming smile of Max, his blue eyes making the sky envious of its color and vasteness, his blonde locks reminding me of sunlight. Without doubt I can say that he is one of the kindest people I have ever met and although his positivism could get overbearing from time to time, one was never really sad around him.

Except me of course, stubborn as ever.

''Hi, Max'' my voice an attempt to sound cheerful but failing halway, crashing and burning into the abyss of awkward silences.

And now he was staring at me, like his eyes could see right through my soft little heart. I supposed a nervous smile wouldn't really work, and I was proven right when he gave me that sad, puppy-like look. The one that just makes your heart melt, leaving you feeling oddly nice towards the world. I have no idea how he does it and I don't think I will ever find out.

''Hey, looking a little down there'' he said, frowning somewhat in worry as he flung his arm around my shoulders. ''You okay?''

I nodded meekly, smiling to prove it.

''Actually I'm waiting for someone.''

''Oooh! A date?''

''Yeah, something like that. Mao set me up.''

The blonde gave me a meaning look, knowing just as good as anyone that trusting Mao with such things could almost legally count as suicide.

''I know, I know. But she offered to help me out.''

Max shrugged as I damned myself and my kindness. Sure, I loved Mao. She was one of my longest friends, and I even suspect she had a crush on me once. And even though she wasn't the best at finding men, at least she tried. Denying her that would just have been rude, and I guess Max understood that as he nodded.

''How does he look? Maybe I could find him for you?''

''That's the problem. It's a blind date.''

Max immediately stepped back from me, hands in the air as he made an odd little face often seen on people who're backing away from a crime scene.

''Then it gets hard!''

''Tell me about it. All I know is that he's foreign and grey haired.''

After I had said that, Max's eyes suddenly sparked with a sense of recognition. I looked questioningly at him, wondering if he had realized something. And he sure had, as he soon pointed towards the corner tables.

''Why didn't you say so? Some Russian guy came into the bar half an hour ago ordering a pint!''

I looked at where he was pointing, squinting as it was hard to find anything remotely grey in the mess of heads that moved there. But after a while of staring, feeling slightly like a hunter on watch, I noticed the only grey haired head in the entire bar. I had just hit jackpot.

Suddenly, as luck would have it, I was feeling nervous. Well, maybe nervous was an understatement. I was nearly sick to my stomach, feeling a shyness I wasn't really used to. In a lot of areas in my life, I'm very confident. Beyblade is the main one, in which my confidence has led to my downfall several times.

But when it came to dating even the mightiest tiger could feel fear. In theory it wasn't hard. I only had to walk over there, introduce myself and see where it went. Either we would have a lot to talk about or we'd be spending the evening in awkward silence until one of us came up with a good enough excuse to leave.

But theory and reality are two very different things.

This wasn't like launching a blade which I knew I was good at. It wasn't like exercising or cooking or speaking or any of the things I'm remotely decent at. It was just like running through a large forest the fastest I could with my eyes closed. Either I would get out alive or I would run into a tree and crush my skull.

Well, not literally. But you get the picture.

''Oh, what are you waiting for?'' Max broke my barrier of thoughts. ''Go get him, tiger!''

And with a gentle little shove he pushed me away, into the crowd and towards my doom. I gave him a slight glare, but he just kept smiling his blinding smile so with a sigh I admitted defeat and trudged on. Through the amount of bodies that moved around me, as it was time to bring out the party animals, I had a hard time actually getting through.

It didn't help that my legs felt like failing me, and I had to mentally yell at myself to stay composed. It was sick, the way the butterflies kept fluttering in my stomach in rhythm with my frantic heart. I felt warm and ill at the same time, hating my weakness in such a simple moment.

Taking a deep breath I shut down all fear, and realized I had reached the table.

''Excuse me?''

The man didn't look at me, just glaring at his beer like I wasn't even there. Like no one was really there at all but him, his beverage and a world of private thoughts. I figured he hadn't heard me, or he just didn't think I was talking to him, so I tried a little louder.

''_Excuse me_''

This time he looked up, and my breath caught in my throat. Freezing cold, merciless ice-blue eyes pummelled me into the ground right where I stood. Meeting his glare felt like the worst moment of my entire life. Like I had just been shoved into an ice cold sea, thousands of knives stabbing me with that vicious murderlust.

And that was when I realized who he was.

''Oh shit''

''_Kon?_''

Boris Kuznetsov was staring at me – no, let me rephrase that; glaring at me like I had just insulted and murdered his mother. I blinked stupidly, opening my mouth to say something but just as bewildered I closed it again. No words coming to my aid as I was standing there, dumbstruck and completely confused. Then reality decided to crash in and ruin my day, realisation dawning in my mind as I suddenly remembered just why one should never trust Mao with blind dates.

I knew the idea had been stupid the moment I heard about it, but never in my mind could I have imagined to have such worthless luck. Of all the people it could have been, of all the grey haired foreigners which lived in town it just had to be this one. The man who had nearly killed me, and even if I had forgiven him a long time ago Boris still remembered.

The Neoborg had never really warmed up to anyone, but one would think that after a few years and helping hands they could have at least stopped throwing murdering glares at you whenever you bumped into each other. Which, thank my lucky star, was very rare but whenever I saw one of the Russians on the street, they did have the decency to grunt in recognition.

All except for Boris. Kai had been my trusted friend for years, and Yuriy at least tried to pretend like he could stand us. Ivan and Sergei never said much which I guess was just their way of behaving. But Boris… well he was one hard nut to crack.

''What the fuck are you doing here?''

Still as polite as I remembered him. This was going to be a fairly interesting night.

''I…'' I fought hard to keep the surprise out of my voice, but even as I got my body under control my eyes still deceived me. ''I'm… looking for someone.''

''Then why are you bothering me?''

I had never before heard such contempt in a voice. Such latent fury that just begged to be let free, waiting for the smallest spark to burst into malicious flames. I knew this man had some serious attitude problems, and I was not in the mood to introduce my face to his fist. I was seriously considering coming up with some lame lie and walk out of there, but something held me back.

Whether it was my conscience or manners, or perhaps even my stubbornness, I did the stupid thing and fought on.

''Actually I'm looking for you.''

''And now you've found me. Now do I have to make you go or do you prefer your legs unbroken?''

Now that wasn't just angering, that was a pure and naked challenge. Even though I wanted to say no, my instincts got the better of me and faced the challenge head on. I was there for a blind date and I was sure as hell not going to walk out of there empty handed. Whether it would cost me a few ribs or just my good mood was for time to decide.

''You don't have to be so rude, you know. I just wanted to sit down.''

Boris snorted, and even that was somehow mockingly brutal. He glared thinly at me before taking a large sip of his beer, slamming the pint down without tearing his eyes away. I just stood glaring back at him, refusing to move an inch before I had completed my mission.

''What makes you think I'd want you to?''

Now what on Earth did I ever do to him? Even after our beybattle I treated him nice. I never held a grudge or acted rudely towards him. The least I could get was a little less hatred.

''Oh, don't try to act like you don't know!''

''Know what? What the fuck are you talking about?''

''Mao! That's what I'm talking about!''

''_Mao_? What does that bitch have to do with anything?''

The irritation within me sparked into anger at his words. Clenching my fists I couldn't help but snarl slightly at him, glaring heatedly as he stared at me with that nonchalant and mocking dislike. There were a few things I never budged from, whatever common sense had to say about it. The first one being to never back down from a challenge, and the second to never let anyone badmouth a friend.

''Don't talk about her like that!'' I growled, but he just snorted again.

''I talk about her in whatever way I want to talk about her. Now would you stop bothering me and go away?''

He was looking dangerously close to rage now, but I blindly ignored this as my own anger was burning inside me. Gritting my teeth, unavoidably baring my fangs I leaned closer, hands against the table and glared with as much power as I could muster into those bone-chilling eyes.

''Don't you even try it, _Kuznetsov_! I'm going to sit down at this table and you're going to keep your mouth shut about her!''

That was a very stupid thing of me to do. No, on second thought, swimming with sharks while bleeding heavily from a wound is a very stupid thing to do. This, this was just insane.

''Are you telling me what to do?''

He stood up now, and even though his height was not a lot greater than mine he still managed to look as threatening as an oncoming comet. For a moment it felt like standing in the shadow of one very large, very angry giant. A giant whose fists felt like racing trucks against my face as he sent me flying through the air and into the nearest table.

People around us turned to stare in shock, some of them shouting things I couldn't make out through the ringing in my ears. Everything cringed when I opened my eyes, the very breath knocked out of me as my ribcage blazed in pain. I hissed through gritted teeth, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth.

I didn't have much time to suffer though, because soon he was back with a vengeance, yanking me up by the collar. If I thought it was hard to breathe before that, his hands around my neck didn't exactly help. Kicking, trying to remember every move I had learned through my years of living I felt like the fish caught on one large, sharp hook.

Furious eyes drilled their way into me, his clenched jaw tense and threatening. Reminding me of the look a lion gets just before it leaps for the gazelle's throat. But I wasn't a scared gazelle, I was a white tiger. With a roar I threw whatever punch I could, and with some sort of luck I successfully landed it right in his face. Boris roared something obscene as he stumbled backwards, blood pouring out of his nose like mad.

I got to my feet, gasping and panting but staring at him altogether through sweat covered bangs. He was out of his mind with rage now, carnage and death in his eyes as he fixed them on me, veins pounding in his neck as he ran forth. A sudden moment of panic hit me, before I by pure reflex jumped out of harms way. This resulting in him tipping the table over, before he very loudly grabbed a chair.

Armed now, he was coming towards me anew and this time I didn't have the time to escape. Instead I felt the wooden furniture slam against my stomach as he plummeted right through the crowd and what I soon discovered to be a window. It was insane. Glass shatter everywhere, flying like deadly little diamonds through the air as the cold night bit my skin. Out on the street I hit moist asphalt, getting the very breath knocked out of me.

I lay there wheezing and trying to breathe through the pain, but I could as well have tried to swallow a mountain as it was impossible with the dull, thick ache in my back. To add a perfect ending to a perfect night, the rabid Russian threw himself over me, his fists coming faster and faster by each hit. Black spots beginning to form before my eyes, the only thing that made the pain go away was when there came a new much worse one.

But I guess someone up there must like me, because soon the beating stopped. It took a while for me to realize, the pulsating explosions in my face and the blood in my eyes making it slightly difficult to think. My brain felt like it had just been run in a mixer and I was not quite sure if I was still alive and breathing. But when two worried dark eyes looked down at me, saying something I couldn't quite make out I assumed that if it was not a Death God, then it had to be Takao.

''Rei? Rei? Are you alive, man?''

I gasped a little more, before blinking I tried to nod. He seemed to sigh in relief, drawing a hand through his hair as he shook his head at me. He soon held out a hand for me to take, and after much effort, I managed to grab it. I don't know where the kid gets his strength, but he managed to pull me to my feet and the second after I was standing I fell against him.

The world was spinning quite madly, a brutal merry-go-round stained in blood red. I gulped after clean, fresh air, before I finally managed to stand on my own. All the while Takao shifted between looking worriedly at me and very accusingly at someone else. And in the pit of my gut, I felt the sinking sensation of not knowing where Boris had gone to.

''What the hell, man?!'' Takao burst out. ''There's a sign! No fighting in the bar!''

''Don't blame me for whatever stupid thing your friend said!''

I recognized the second voice, but I couldn't focus too good on my intellectual process since I still felt a bit woozy. But as soon as my sight cleared I caught sight of Yuriy, doing his best at restraining the still angry Boris. Red hair had escaped its otherwise perfect combing, his winter blue eyes thinly glaring at us.

''Look, I'm not gonna tell you this again! Behave or get lost!''

''Yeah, yeah, I heard you Kinomiya! Don't act so high and mighty!''

''You know I'm very close to just throwing you – ''

I put my hand on Takao's arm, and he almost looked like he had forgotten me. I gave him a meaning look, not wanting to cause any more trouble than I already had. He seemed to get my point, as he growled grumpily, throwing his hands in the air in resignation.

''Whatever. Just take it easy!'' Then he turned to me, worriedly eyeing me. ''I hope you feel better than you look''

I tried to smile, but with a split lip it's not all too easy.

''I'm fine.''

''You sure?''

I nodded.

''Perfectly sure. Thank you''

''Hey man, don't thank me. Yuriy was the one who pulled the madman away!''

Boris barked something in russian at hearing that, but Yuriy just glared at him and growled. With a pat on the back Takao turned to leave, but not without a final warning look towards the Falcon. Yuriy turned his piercing glare towards me then, and suddenly I felt a little dizzy.

''I don't know what you said, Kon, but don't do it again. Next time you won't be so lucky.''

Never in my life had I been so reluctant to see Yuriy leave. Left alone with the still muttering Boris, I didn't feel all too good. That lame excuse to get away from the date suddenly seemed very tempting, but Boris had other plans on his mind.

''You owe me a fucking drink.''

**X**

What was supposed to be one drink oddly turned into three. By the end of it my nose had stopped bleeding, and even though Takao was watching us constantly, spending the night with Boris at the bar wasn't as bad as I thought. As long as I kept the booze coming and shut up he kept calm, if yet extremely rude.

Despite his best efforts, we had actually spoken about things. Okay, I had spoken and he had muttrered at me to shut the fuck up. Even though I didn't think he listened, staring down into my Mojito I felt relieved to get things off my chest. Mostly about work and customers, but I think that somewhere between the third and the fourth drink, I could have said something about my parents.

And in the light of the bar and the sound of people moving endlessly to some crappy old song, I somehow managed to see just how Mao picked her men. If one overlooked the fact that Boris was Boris, and if you pretended like he couldn't speak, he was actually good drinking company. His eyes blunt and unforgiving, face strong and hair reminding me of silver reflecting moonlight.

Alright, Rei, time for you to stop drinking! Put down the glass and walk out of there before you lose your mind!

I groaned, guessing my brain had a point. There I was, checking _Boris Kuznetsov_ out, of all people it could have been. With a sigh I reached for my money, at the same time gripping after my jacket but the Russian beat me to it. In the blink of an eye he had diverted my attention from making my egress by simply lighting a cigarette and blowing a big puff of cancer in my face.

I coughed as the smoke snuck down into my lungs, shielding my mouth poorly with my hand. Boris gave me a sideward glance, somewhat gleeful amusement glinting behind his eyes.

''Hey! _HEY!_ Kuznetsov, can't you read?!'' Takao growled, pointing angrily at two signs hanging over the bar. ''It says no fighting and _no smoking_!''

Boris barked in irritation, baring his teeth as he glared at the bartender.

''If you can't smoke in a fucking bar where can you smoke?! What's next? I can't _drink_ here either?!''

Takao just curled his mouth in a sneer, all of his little patience already gone.

''You know, maybe you can't!''

''Fine!''

With a loud Russian curse he slammed his fist into the bardisk, before grapping his jacket and like a shadow he swept past me. Loud and angry steps drowned in the music, followed by the wake of aggression. I didn't really know why I did what I was going to do next, I guess the tipsiness didn't really help much. But I, for some reason, slid off my chair and ran after him.

''Rey! Where you going?!'' I heard Takao shout, and I glanced back at him as I hurried my steps.

''Put it on my tab!''

''What?! All of it?!''

''All of it!''

Now that was going to cost me, I realized with slight dread. I had just earned myself another month of surviving on low price noodles and showering in cold water. But I hadn't time to worry about that, as I saw something grey disappear out the doors. I was almost half running now, pushing my way past drunk girls and groping men, climbing out of the crowd and out through the door.

A cold breeze hit me harshly, and I gulped in the fresh night air. It was much quieter outside, back in an alley the sound of driving cars was distant. Wrapped in a veil it sounded so far away, even if it was just around the corner. I could have just stood there the rest of the night, enjoying the privacy that oddly enough didn't seem to exist anywhere else.

But the fresh air broke apart as a familiar, thin cloud of smoke made its way through. The sharp smell of tobacco scratched at my nostrils, and when I turned around I found Boris hadn't really left completely. Instead he stood there, hands in his pockets, staring up at the sky with his cigarette tightly squeezed between taut lips.

''Doing some stargazing over there?'' I said, not really expecting an answer.

Boris snorted.

''There aren't any stars here''

I gave him a shrug, knowing he was right. With all the bright lights that never seemed to turn off, the sky above never reached that rich, full color of black. One could barely even see the moon at night, and the only way to see stars was to buy a celebrity magazine. It was a saddening thought, but none the less a truthful one.

''Oh, crap'' I suddenly blurted out, earning a suspicious glare cast my way. ''I forgot my jacket!''

He gave me a look as if questioning me why he should care, but I ignored it and stormed back into the bar again. I admit I was slightly panicked, it being my only jacket and I could surely not afford a new one for a long while. Besides I liked it, we had been through a lot together and I would not catch a cold just because I was stupid enough to leave it in a bar.

I squeezed my way through the crowd once more, getting stepped on and elbowed quite a few times before I reached the bar. To my horror my jacket was nowhere in sight and the slight panic rose inside me to full length. Repeating the mantra 'oh shit' over and over again, I looked under and around every seat there was. But I couldn't find anything but peanuts and dirt, biting my lip as I was nearly in despair.

''Looking for something?''

I looked up and found Max curiously staring down at me from behind the bar, a little like a child watching his parent run around like a lunatic.

''Max, have you seen my jacket?''

A slight pitch of desperation had snuck into my voice, but I couldn't bother caring about that. My jacket had not only my wallet, but my housekeys, ID, cell phone and my driver's license. If I lost that jacket I wouldn't only go cold for the rest of the year, I'd also go hungry and homeless.

But Max turned out to be the savior of my day as he dove out of sight. When he emerged again he was holding just what I had been looking for.

''Here it is! Saved it for you!''

''Oh thank you, thank you! Max, you just saved my night!''

A small blush spread across the blondes face and I gave him a thankful smile. Relieved I took the jacket and, just to be safe, put it on so I wouldn't misplace it anywhere else.

''Take care now, Rei!''

''You too, goodnight!''

With a wave I turned around, once again beginning my journey towards the exit. Just like if a stone had left my chest, my breathing came easy and I couldn't thank my luck enough. It was a stupid little mistake I had made by leaving the jacket, one I never usually was stupid enough to make. But I guess my mind had been a bit distracted through the night, and it all ended well so there was no reason thinking about it.

Accidentally elbowing a few people, I threw excuses like flowers as I went. Soon I saw the black door like a miracle in the night, half running towards it to finally make my escape. Free of the thumping music, free of the sweaty people and the smell of alcohol, the streets had never looked any better. I took in a large gulp of air, which was when I realized that something was wrong.

First of all there was no cigarette smell in the air, so the choking feeling I got had to be something else. Something cold and metallic in my gut that kept sinking, sinking so low that I could feel it in my toes. Call it instinct, call it paranoia, call it whatever you want but when I turned to see Boris, I was not surprised, if yet shocked, at what was going on.

Two men, not too friendly looking standing in some sort of threatening attack-position, the glares fired between the three like bullets. The thought that they were just friends was a fairly idiotic one since for one; Boris didn't do well with friends and secondly; they were carrying knives. My 'oh shit' mantra suddenly stood on repeat again.

They hadn't seen me yet, which I gladly used to my advantage. Even though Boris was one mean murder machine, no one with at least a shred of moral would let him face armed strangers alone. The Tiger in me growled, as I took advantage of my extra keen senses and as silently as a house cat snuck closer. Before they even had the chance to notice me I had leapt out of the air, kicking one of the guys off his feet.

I landed not too shabbily, glaring at the second man with what unmistakably had to be slit pupils. Obviously he wasn't used to those things, as his face scrunched up in some macabre shock. Boris glared at me, poorly hiding his surprise as I guess he didn't expect me to come flying down from the sky like that. He looked like he bristled for something to say, so with one heavy punch aimed at the chin, he knocked the other guy down in the blink of an eye. I didn't have much time to muse over this though before he grabbed my collar, dragging me forward.

''What the fuck are you doing?!'' he roared, which left me in some sort of shock.

I know Boris isn't the happiest person in the world, but I would have expected something friendlier. I had just saved him from getting his gut cut up, was gratitude that hard to show? Instead he looked like he wanted to kill me, eyes burning in hateful anger. He shook me a few harsh times, making sure to scramble my brains completely.

''Take it easy! I helped you out, damn it!''

''No, you _didn't_! Kon, you fucking moron!''

He stopped shaking me, thank the Gods, and instead leaned in till I could smell his beer-stained breath on my face. For a second I saw that spark in his eyes which he had held on our first encounter, the one that had sent me right to the hospital. That wrenching sensation in my stomach returned full force, twirling and twisting as Boris' face only got redder.

''You just signed your own death warrant''

Somehow the way he said it, more than what he actually said, scared me. He didn't scream, yell or roar or anything like it. Instead he had just hissed, a low, threatening growl from the back of his throat, as if I was the only one allowed to hear this. Some sort of macabre secret between him and me, and I swear, I would have trembled if I hadn't been too proud.

''What are you talking about, Kuznetsov?'' I finally managed to snarl.

But instead of giving me an answer, like most civilized people would do, he yanked me harder by the collar, dragging me down the street. It wasn't easy keeping up with his broad, hurried steps and I couldn't shake the feeling that we were running from something. Which made even less sence since I couldn't for the life of it, imagine Boris running from anything. By the end of the third street I was getting really freaked out.

''Where are we going?''

''Shut up''

''Don't be such an assh – ''

''I mean it! Shut the fuck up!''

Covering behind a dumpster at one in the morning, a death grip around my shirt and the stubborn sense of being in trouble was not my perfect idea of a date. Not that my company fit the description too well either, but this was really pushing it. I wanted an explanation, and a damn good one as well. Somehow I got the feeling I wouldn't get one at all.

The sudden breeze of a bullet gracing my cheek added to this suspicion. I heard a small flashing noise before the wall next to me cracked, spitting out speckles of debris and dust. I didn't have much time to panic before Boris pushed me forward, my stumbling feet refusing to run as fast as my instincts felt they had to.

''What the hell was – ?!''

''Just run, damn it!''

My heart thumping loudly in my chest, like the beat in the bar with the volume on max. My pulse rushing with no time to spare and the world swooshing by me, I couldn't focus on anything but running. Running as fast as I could, another bullet nibbling at my trails. Boris fastened his steps, for some reason dragging me along with him, forward on the road to certain damnation.

My lungs burned and ached with exhaustion after a few more streets, but even though the world was spinning around me and my muscles screaming in pain I couldn't stop. I knew it'd be the end of me if I did and I wasn't exactly in the mood for dying. But the luck I'd had during the night had to run out sometime. I just wish it wouldn't have been right then.

Another bullet came at us, relentless and unstoppable as it headed for my leg. I didn't know why anyone would want to open fire at us, I couldn't even remember ever angering a person with that sort of psychotic mind. I had met a lot of creeps in my days, but none of them I thought would go this far. My suspicion only rose as Boris didn't seem as surprised as pissed off. I guess it angered him to no end that he had to flee like a coward.

''Why are they shooting at us?!''

''Just run!''

I tried to. I really tried. But my karma must have been running on empty, because even though I used up all the strength I didn't have in that last spurt into safety, my cards had all been dealt. A sharp pain was all I had as a warning before I fell. Burning and gnawing, churning like a little parasite in my leg as everything turned upside down. I would have screamed if everything hadn't turned black.


	2. Delirium

DON'T beta-read stuff at seven am after five rocky hours of sleep. Really. Don't do it.  
I had to read this through maaaaaaany times to get it half decent. God I am so tired. So thank me, because this (12 am, woho!) is the only time in the week I'll have open for updates.

Review, go on! Make my day!

* * *

**Chapter Two  
****Delirium**

I was not happy when I woke up. Parts I didn't even know belonged to my body, suddenly hurt with the force of a thousand storms. Every little inch, every fibre and cell and bit of tissue burned, ached and hurt like a blowtorch had just kissed me inside out. But what struck me the most was the nausea. Throbbing inside of me, wave after wave turning my insides around like a carousel. A carousel I instantly wanted to get off before I threw up my spine.

Gasping, the air felt stuffed and rotten and I had to force it down my lungs, the nausea only growing. If I felt this horrible with my eyes closed, I sure as hell didn't want to know what I'd wake up to if I opened them. A cold floor was all I could make out in the haze, uncomfortable to the point where I bet lying butt naked on ice would have been cosier. I probably would have been able to make out a lot more of my surroundings, had it not been for my skull-splitting headache. And in a way, I guess that was a good thing.

I groaned, wondering why on Earth I couldn't feel my leg. The shock finally gripping me now, memories of before I blacked out rushing to me like water from a burst dam. I gasped, snapping my eyes open as I stared ghostly into nothing. Then the fear came. Rattling me ruthlessly till everything around me seemed to spin, a cold shiver running down my spine, like stroked by Death itself.

Where was I?

Looking around, my blurred vision became clearer the longer I stared. Cutting up the dark to piece it together in some way that my brain could understand. My sharp eye-sight coming to great use, it didn't take too long before I could make out contours in the dark. Contours that slowly blended into silhouettes, shadows of shades and colours, dancing before me before they formed more concrete things.

There was a window, small and broken, letting in chilly gusts of air that stirred up the dust and the dirt. The room was large, but I couldn't make out quite how large as the vastness seemed to stretch out, engulfed by darkness and out into infinity. Just a few meters away from me there seemed to be a tattered old armchair, grey or green I couldn't quite make out but apparently it had seen much better days.

Realizing I was lying down, the smell of the floor did little to ease my nerves. I didn't know what filth could be crawling on that floor, nor did I want to. But sitting up seemed to be a far more complex action than I remembered, every bone inside of me squeaking, like brittle twigs snapping inside of me. I groaned, drawing my knees closer as if to shield myself, but for what I wasn't sure.

As I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion I guessed the armchair wasn't the only tattered thing around. I hoped I wasn't looking half as horrible as I felt.

Hissing as my hand landed on broken glass, I drew it back as a sharp pain dug into my skin. Suspiciously eyeing the floor, I wondered just what else was hiding around there. I could hear sounds from outside, odd little noises that seemed awfully familiar. Something screeching, yet laughing at the same time, blending with a soothing lullaby and the odd smell of something sour.

I couldn't quite place it, even more mesmerized about my whereabouts than before. But most of all, I wondered where Boris was. Panic nibbling at me now, slowly, slowly sinking its sharpened teeth into me and my pulse ran quicker, echoing through my sore skull. What if he wasn't alright? What if he had been hit by a bullet? What if he wasn't even..? Dared I think it?

_What if Boris was… dead?_

Trying to stand up, I quite as expected failed and my leg seemed close to snapping in half. The strain on the wound I had momentarily forgotten tearing at the skin and the flesh like a gaping mouth, the pain a sharp and brutal scream that sent me flat on my ass with a roar. My voice echoed hollow and frightened through the darkness, hitting me again and again before it died out. The silence that followed felt like the worst sound I had ever endured.

But I was proven wrong as steps broke it viciously, echoing so much I couldn't tell which direction they were coming from. Coming closer, it wasn't long before I could make out someone in the dark. Someone whose smell I faintly recognized, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

''Well, _you_ look like shit''

I squinted, as if it would help me see better, recognizing the voice but my brain was much too stirred up to function. Soon enough though, there was the click of a lighter and the flash of a flame, before cigarette smoke cut its way into my nostrils, making my eyes water and my brain – if possible – feel even fuzzier. Boris narrowed his eyes to a thin glare directed at me, thoughtfully taking a deep drag of his cancer-stick.

''Boris?''

''Oh, look at that. You're not completely brain damaged.''

I looked around in confusion, waving a cloud of smoke out of my face before meeting his eyes again. When our glares met, it was almost like getting shot all over again.

''Where am I?'' I mumbled through the fog of my brain, blinking sluggishly at the Russian.

He just took another drag, not answering me, yet his eyes told me he had all the answers. I glared at him, frustration blending with the fear and the pain and the confusion, leaving me dizzy and lost.

''You're not six feet under'' Boris said, giving me the look one gives a stray cat. ''That's all you really need to know.''

I was fuming now, yearning to berate him like nothing else, but my body refusing to co-operate and I promise, I would have ripped his head off if only I hadn't felt like roadkill.

''Boris, what the hell is going on?''

''You're whining, I'm thinking out ways to shut you up with the most fun for least effort.''

''Who were shooting at us and _why_?!''

''Just some friends.''

''Friends!?'' I spat, outrageous now. ''_Friends?! _I don't know what deranged little psycho-world you live in Kuznetsov, but in the real world friends don't shoot friends!''

My voice was echoing, sharp and fast like a whip through the darkness. The damp smell of wet wood and moist dirt, cigarette smoke and my own sweat and blood twirling around this little scene of madness, making me freak even more. My heart was thumping rabidly and savagely, the blur of emotions within me exploding and burning like supernovas from inside. My teeth gritted and my fists clenched, eyes burning into the Falcon's own.

''Stop your bitching! You're giving me a headache!''

''Headache?! I've been _shot_!''

''Duly noted.''

I gaped at him, not because of the nonchalant look on his face that stated he didn't really give a damn at all, but the tone of his voice as he said it. Like getting shot was as normal to him as a mosquito bite in the summer, something that occurred regularly, without anyone making such a big deal about it. And just like that he had struck my words out of me, my vocal cords tangled into each other, my tongue useless and heavy, nothing falling from my lips but silence.

Boris took a final drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out as it fell like poisonous snow over my head, matching the colour of his hair. He put it out on the ground, flicking it off into the distance before looking back at me again.

''Keep it down or you'll get a bullet in the other leg too.''

Standing up, I watched him turn to leave and furiously my brain tried to work out an answer. A demand to know what was going on, where I was, how my leg was, who had shot me, what I was supposed to do, how I should get home, what I did to deserve this entire mess. I wanted to panic so badly but couldn't let myself to, and when I finally thought of the right words to say, Boris had already left.

Silence surrounded me once again, and once again I was left dizzy. Everything spinning, around and round and back again in a never ending motion of blurry pictures. I couldn't fathom anything that happened, couldn't place in my mind how this was possible. The insanity of it all, the actual nerve of fate itself… This couldn't be happening to me. Crazy teams copying bitbeasts, a madman trying to take over the world with the help of Beyblading kids, that I could take. Being ignored by my family and people trying to steal Byakko over and over. Hell, even that psycho island made more sense than this!

What the hell was this? Was my life some never ending mad-house? Where the inmates were my friends and the straight jackets were our own gullible minds? Was I awake? Was I sleeping? Was all of it a dream? Had I maybe just had one Mojito too much and this was all just some delusional fantasy? Perhaps someone slipped some odd pill into my drink? This couldn't really be real, could it?

And if so... why _me_? Call me selfish, call me a coward but what on Earth did I do to deserve this? And what role did Boris play in all of it? I couldn't understand anything, a headache forming as the frustration magnified. Who the men in the alley had been, why they wanted Boris' insides on a silver plate and how I ended up in the middle of it… it was one large mystery that would take me millenniums to solve. There was only one thing I was really sure of, and that was that I had to get out of there.

Glaring at my leg, my heart sank until I couldn't even feel it beat. I had a bullet wound in my leg, the mother of all headaches and its little cousins lodged between my skull and my brain, and no idea whatsoever of where in the universe I was. The odds weren't exactly smiling at me, and I must have done something seriously wrong in a previous life to piss Lady Luck off so badly.

Snarling, as I summoned all my willpower and determination into one movement, I made number one of the stupidest mistakes of my life.

1. Standing up with a wounded leg

Hissing, biting my tongue so I wouldn't bring attention to myself, I cursed and swore while the pain was immensely flooding through me. Boiling underneath the skin, a skin that felt like it was pulsating itself, ripping away from my bone, the muscle beneath tearing… I took a deep breath, and went over to mistake number two.

2. Trying to walk with a wounded leg

Limping and staggering, movements cut off bluntly and without consideration, I swayed forward through the darkness. Every step I took sent my heart trembling wilder, doubt inside of me corroding my very marrow but I couldn't let my steps falter. Demanding movements, pushing at the limbs and muscles and joints which seemed to have locked themselves, tied into tight, tight knots, I pushed my body further. I couldn't die here, I couldn't die here, I couldn't and I wouldn't die here.

Darkness swallowed me, but for every step I took the more it seemed to dissipate. Somewhere along the way windows were scarcely placed, as if meant to form a map of diffuse light. A map which I followed blindly. My leg felt close to giving up, just lifting the damn thing numbing me with pain, like a knife through my spine that I couldn't get out, and for every step I took the knife rattled. I hissed through the pain, trembling with exhaustion, losing my grip of reality.

But I refused to pass out, I refused to close my eyes even though my eyelids had never before felt so heavy. Even though my chest was tight and stuffed, filled with pain but not with air, my own heartbeats deafening to my ears. I refused to give up, refused to let go. Growling, determination all I focused on I dragged myself onwards, following the wall, hoping it wouldn't lead me to a dead end.

Suddenly feeling dizzy, the world wobbling around me something felt strange. The light in the distance, like the whole world had turned into a tunnel, I swayed a little, trying to keep my footing. My body trembled, my breaths hurt, and something much warm, almost to a point of burning me, flowed freely down my leg. I didn't even have to look to know what it was.

Gritting my teeth I walked faster, but slowly and sluggishly as if my blood had been exchanged for tar, every movement I made was like running through shoulder-length snow. Slow, hard and unyielding, I pushed and pushed but suddenly, the ground moved from beneath my feet and the whole world came crashing down around me. As if the world was one giant snow globe and someone decided to flip it around, I fell with a loud shriek and landed face first in my own blood.

This is the point when I desperately wanted to cry.

I could hear steps coming towards me, loud and fast and much quicker than my own. Groaning I tried to raise myself on my hands, but my arms cramped and I fell, hitting my chin on the cold floor. Blazing pain sizzled through my head, my brain shaking as my vision blurred, through watering eyes I got a glimpse of the exit. Or, for all I knew it could just have been one giant spotlight placed there to screw with me. Whatever it was, I'd have to take my chances and crawl. Crawl like mad before they got to me, whoever they were.

I made a mental note to _kill Mao_ when I got out of this mess. If I ever did. Shuddering, trying to push the thoughts aside I tried to crawl faster. But the steps behind me were closing in now, and with every second my panic grew, and with it my rational sense faded. I knew it had all been a stupid idea. Knew I never should have listened to Mao in the first place, even if this wasn't her fault I was going to get some damn good answers! If only I could make it to the light.

Crawling, panting, the hard floor painful against my elbows and knees, I struggled onwards. But it had been to little avail as I soon discovered, when someone brusquely kicked me in the ribs. Screaming, certainly swearing as well, I tipped over, gasping desperately for air. My chest felt like it had just contracted, drawn into itself letting nothing out nor in, all the while my ribs trying to punctuate my insides.

Someone very frustrated glared down on me, a foot poking me slightly in question. When I gasped, the foot retreated and I could hear a gun click.

''You're not dead, but you're damn well going to be''

I squinted, my vision too blurry now for me to even hope to see something. All I could see was shadows, dancing around me until they mixed into complete, full darkness. A darkness so cold and so threatening it knocked the last breath out of me, and despite my best efforts I fell unconscious.

**X**

Waking up was twice as unpleasant the second time. Everything that didn't hurt before certainly hurt now, and everything that did hurt was a thousand times worse. I didn't want to breathe, didn't want to groan or blink or anything that could give me away. But eventually I had to give in, flinching in pain as the slightest movement seemed to be torturous. There was a hiss and a curse next to me at the sudden movement, someone getting fairly irritated at me.

''Fuck it!'' I recognized it as Boris' voice, and this somehow made opening my eyes a little less scary. ''Watch where you move, you clumsy idiot!''

What he was talking about was anyone's guess. But as he brought a bleeding thumb to his mouth to suck on it, a pout firmly placed on his face with a frown, I suspected it all had to do with the needle in his hand. A needle that was connected to a thin, thin thread glistening under the ghostly yellow light of a lamp, the only source of light in the entire room. I didn't know if it was the same room as before, or just how far away the outside world was. Or better yet, how far away from freedom I had been.

I looked angrily at Boris who either didn't notice or just didn't care, staring with half-hearted concentration at his work. Namely my leg, which I now noticed was looking half presentable. All the blood I had felt and slipped in had been washed off, the only trace of it being the stains that were left on my pant leg. Blossoming pink skin surrounded the large gaping wound, which wasn't really gaping anymore as the thin thread kept it together. Boris' clumsy yet decent stitches whispered that this was not the first time he had to sew somebody together.

''I mean it, Frankenstein, don't move!''

He glared at me from behind the needle, sticking it with a little more force than needed through my skin, not putting much effort into being gentle with me. I flinched, gritting my teeth but it didn't make matters any better. Finally, after what felt like a hundred years of brutality, Boris closed the wound altogether, throwing the needle into a little metal bowl, the twirling noise scratching at the silence we had stretched out to lie between us.

I stared intently at him, for some reason his cold, harsh eyes filled with anger, refusing to meet my own. I was bristling now, clenching my jaws just to keep myself from ripping out his throat. Mainly I didn't want to admit to the fear, feeling it would swallow me whole if I did. I didn't want to admit the confusion or the sadness, or even the desperation, because I had to stay strong. And the only way to keep myself from crumbling right then seemed to be to be furious, enraged as I lost my temper, letting it run wild like a storm.

''_Kuznetsov_'' I growled and he turned to look at me now, boredom and agitation in his eyes. ''What the hell is going on?''

He snorted, giving me a pout of mock insult.

''I was stitching you together, if you hadn't noticed. You should thank me, you know.''

''That's not what I meant!''

I sat up straighter now, glaring as fiercely into his eyes as I could, leaning closer just so he could feel the warmth of my anger. The Russian glared back, apparently not in the mood to let me in on the important details. Even though I was the cat, it still felt like he was the one playing with me.

The silence returned, and yet I wished for anything else in the world. Even the sound of my own scream echoing through the walls would have been more pleasant.

''See. This would never have happened if you'd just left me the fuck alone last night.''

The nerve of him. Discussing something as petty as a blind date, even blaming it, for this whole mess I had stumbled into? How sick could a man be? Growling even louder now, digging my nails into the floor, I made sure that if looks could kill he'd be halfway to hell already.

''What the hell sort of explanation is that?! I've been _shot_ and your explanation is last night?!'' I gaped at him, eyes large with rage and I bet I was looking half insane. ''Who were those men and why did they shoot at us?! What's going _on_, Boris?''

He looked at me, contemplating and silent. His blue eyes the last thing in the world I really wanted to see, making me turn cold and numb inside as he cut me open with his stare. Picking up a cigarette and lighting it, he took four thoughtful drags before blowing the smoke right in my face.

''Let's say they don't really like us. Especially not me since I might have been involved in something about a car and a cigarette…'' he took another drag as I was anxiously waiting for his answer. ''… and ten gallons of gasoline.''

Choking on my own breath, spluttering out nonsense that didn't make much sense even to me. Boris gave me a glare as if I was stupid, shutting me up effectively.

''See, they don't like me. And they don't like people snooping around their business.''

''I wasn't even snooping!''

''You kicked one of them in the head.''

I was about to answer, mouth open and everything but when I came to the point where I had to form words, I couldn't really carry it through. Biting my lip I glared slightly at him, knowing he had a point and hating him for it.

''You've seen them'' he continued, cigarette glowing brightly red in the dark. ''And they've seen you. It's done for you.''

Complete fear and dread drained me from every good feeling I had, my gut twirling like it was eating itself up from the inside and I just wanted to scream. This wasn't happening to me. It couldn't be happening to me. It was insane, all so very deliriously insane.

''Plus'' Boris added, smirking devilishly. ''I can't let you go, you've been to my Batcave.''

Now I just wanted to murder him myself.

''Why don't you just kill me then?'' I hissed, making sure every word sounded more like a threat than an actual question. ''Why didn't you just leave me in the alley?!''

It was a question with no satisfactory answer. No matter how much I thought about it or how many motives I questioned, no answer would please me. It all just made so little sense, I wanted to vanish and pretend it never ever happened. But it was impossible. I knew that, and I grew more and more sure the longer I stared into his eyes. This was as serious as death and just as inevitable.

''For the same reason I didn't kill you back then.''

''What do you mean? You'd have killed me during that match if Byakko hadn't saved me!''

''Trust me, I wasn't even using half my power, Kon. Byakko or not, if I wanted to, I would have gotten you. And I'd have gotten you good.''

There was that smirk again. Mocking and hurtful, darkly vicious and I could almost see the blood of his victims dripping out of his mouth. The amount of hatred I felt right then, could never be measured. Forgiving and forgetting I was all for, but that man, that moment… it was just too much.

''I don't understand! Why are you keeping me here? Why not just sell me to that other gang or…'' I bit my lip in desperate confusion. ''Why?''

But he just snorted.

''Whiskers, don't worry your cute little head about it.''

I gaped, but closed my mouth again with an angry sigh. Feeling half defeated and completely lost, too far away from redemption I had a hard time deciding what my main emotions were. Anger sizzled inside of me as well as the pain of my body, but I wasn't quite sure of what I was angry about anymore. Whether it was Boris for being so… well, Boris-y, or if it was those men who had shot me in the first place. Maybe it was not knowing just what I had landed my sorry ass into, or what was going on. Maybe it wasn't any of it, maybe I just needed to feel something other than the fear.

I muttered, glaring thinly but tiredly at the Russian who simply put out his cigarette in the ground.

''Boris…'' my voice carried out just as thin into the obscure light, but I couldn't draw one simple reaction from him. All he did was glare, irked and bored, waiting for me to shut up. ''What's going on? I mean… really. What is this?''

''This…'' he glanced around him, as if to make sure life was still the same and hadn't just been some illusion, some sick dream that somehow wasn't true. When he looked back at me it was with a look I was going to keep seeing in my nightmares. ''This is reality.''

''Why were they trying to kill you?''

He shrugged.

''The same reason everyone tries to. You'd do it if you could.''

''That's not… that's just… You know what I mean!''

He snorted, mouth something between a sneer and a grin but I couldn't quite tell which was more. It was eerie, like he wasn't amused or angry, but simply tired. Tired and disgusted and right then I bet he wouldn't have minded to rip someone open.

''It doesn't matter. Things didn't turn out as I planned, shit happens. Life goes on.''

I stared at him, stuttering as to say something witty and clever but my brain failed me once more. Boris just looked at me, lighting another cigarette before standing up, the bowl with the needle and such tightly clutched in his hand. I watched him as he left, shivers running up and down my spine long after his steps had died away.

Wherever I was, whoever were there with me, I had to do something. Whatever Boris was up to or who he had pissed off, I knew it wasn't safe to stay there. One night in the wrong company had brought me a bullet wound, and I didn't doubt it would get a lot worse if I hung around too long. Even though millions and millions of questions surrounded me, one thing was certain.

I had to come up with a plan.


	3. Stifled Scream

GASP. So – much – school – work! So little time to write. I know, I know, the updates are slow but I don't even get a good night's sleep, let alone time to write. The most I can amount to as it is right now is staring into the wall. And I have a cold. But I'll try. I really will.

(And uh yeah, I know nothing about pay-phones either, so just go with it.) And Mr. Snufflepop is kind of an inside joke. Or, not really a joke. More of an inside _thing_. Not that the dude who shares this inside thing with me reads fanfiction. Or watches Beyblade. But that's unimportant matters.

Review, I know you want to. Even though this chapter is weak. (Promise I'll try harder.)

* * *

**Chapter Three  
****Stifled Scream**

It seemed like waking up wasn't really my thing. It hadn't worked out well the previous times I'd done it and this time... well, it wasn't all that pleasant. I couldn't tell which time of day it was, the darkness around being constant and unchanging. Whenever it was, it was much too soon to rise and shine. Although, this opinion wasn't shared by everyone.

Something wet and sharp kept licking me, like sandpaper against my skin and it wasn't just the pain that woke me, the stench was unbelievable as well. Like the mix of rotten carcasses and cat food climbed up my nostrils, scratching at my consciousness till I bolted awake. It would have been just as effective as setting me on fire, I was awake in an instance, and not at all happy.

Glaring around me, trying to find the guilty, I wasn't all prepared for what I saw. Large, sly, moonlike eyes stared at me in question, a face full of fur and wonder. As the fat Tonkinese slapped its tail against the dirty floor, I couldn't help but feel a little spooked. The cat tilted its head, cunning schemes forming behind its eyes. I shivered, but didn't dare move.

''Mrreow''

The fat ball of fur stretched its chubby legs, walking over to me as soundless as a dream. Soon the thick, furry tail caressed my cold skin, and I found that even though the little fellow unnerved me, he was the only company I had. I tried a mellow smile, and my new friend purred in pleasure.

''Hi there, you''

The fur was soft and smooth under my fingers, becoming the only warm thing in the entire world. Scratching the cat's chin, I felt a collar hidden somewhere in its silk like fur. It looked weirdly at me as I fished it out in the open, and soon I could make out words on the red leather. Words that formed a name.

''Mr. Snufflepop..?''

''Meeow!''

I looked disbelievingly at him.

''Your name is Mr. Snufflepop?''

Mr. Snufflepop gave me a look as if to say, 'Like your name is any better'. I frowned, but the glare he was giving me made me leave the subject untouched. Instead I collected him in my arms, cuddling the little ball, bathing in warmth that felt a hundred years away. I couldn't have been gone for that long, and yet it felt like a lifetime since someone warmed me. Even if my only friend in the entire world right then was a cat, it was a lot better than being alone with my ghosts.

But my ghosts and Mr. Snufflepop weren't my only company I soon realized as I could hear footsteps again. I never heard a door open or close, it was as if the steps came out of nowhere, born in the dark before dying in the silence. I tensed momentarily. Not knowing what would jump at me I involuntarily cradled the cat in my arms as if to protect it.

But fearing the worst I was both pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised to see Boris emerge from the shadows. Pleasantly because if it had been a stranger, I had even less of an idea of what to expect from the situation. Unpleasantly because I was angry he still kept me there, and he didn't look to happy himself. Swearing and muttering under his breath he threw his jacket angrily at the floor, sitting down in the tattered grey-or-green-armchair which I hadn't noticed before, glaring at me in hostility.

I raised suspicious eyebrows, my eyes narrowing as I wasn't too sure of whether I could trust him or not. Mr. Snufflepop mewled, before with a slight hiss he leapt out of my arms and darted off into the void. His footsteps were soundless so I couldn't know for sure, but somehow I felt like he didn't leave the room, his crystal eyes still watching me. But that feeling could have been Boris though, who didn't seem intent on dropping me with his eyes.

Lighting a cigarette he blew some smoke into my face before glowering a little more.

''That stunt you pulled yesterday was not a smart one.'' He said, with a cold voice too distant to care, yet too bothered to ignore the problem at hand.

And this was when I realised I didn't know him. Simple things like what was his favourite food? What did he want to be when he was little? What's his favourite animal? What colour does he like the most? Is he allergic to something? What's the funniest memory he has? What was his childhood like? Where did he grow up? Okay, the last one I knew, but the rest of it was all a mystery. Who was Boris Kuznetsov? Who had he been and why was he staring at me with that look in his eyes?

''No one can know that you're here, you understand that? _No one_.''

I frowned, suspicious as ever as of what was on his mind, if anything really was. For all I knew he could as well have been acting on some maniacal whim. Perhaps there wasn't even anyone out to get me. Perhaps he was just pretending that we were in grave danger. Okay, bad thinking. I'm sure Boris wasn't so sick in the head he would fake a gang fight just to lock me up in a dark and cold room. Really. That was just absurd… right?

''Who are you so afraid of?''

His glare intensified now, like he was barely keeping himself from killing me and drinking my blood. But I didn't let that bother me, I refused to let my guard down even though my leg hurt and my skin felt colder by the minute. Even though I was scared, hungry and tired, I wouldn't let him win, whatever sick game we played.

''I mean it, Kon. Keep out of the corridor until I come back.''

''Why? What's going on?''

''That's none of your business.''

''That's very well my fucking busi – '' I didn't get further in my infuriated cry before Boris leaped towards me, clasping a hand harshly over my mouth, keeping the sound in and the air out.

With as much suspicion as myself he glared towards some corner of the room that I couldn't see, tense as if waiting, his arm impossible to pry off even if I hadn't been injured. I listened to the silence, and for a slight moment I thought I could hear his heartbeat. Which was rather silly, considering up until then I hadn't thought Boris even _had_ a heart.

But if he didn't, then why would he have saved me? I looked up at the man, the true enigma of Boris Kuznetsov still leaning above me. A fair sight to behold. Whatever mystery he was, I felt some strange, uncontrollable urge within me to discover that mystery. Some odd hunger or thirst inside of me, waiting to be stilled. I didn't know how long that feeling had been there, or even how it got there in the first place. All I knew was that as much as I wanted my freedom, I wanted the answer to the question the Russian had become.

Voices came from outside the room, I assumed since they sounded far off and distant. Like as if coming out from a tin can. Boris' glare thinned, and with it my body tensed. Dangerously close to him, his body felt surprisingly warm, yet his eyes were so cold. It was like being burned and frostbitten at the same time. I wasn't sure what to feel, but my heart seemed intent on beating the life out of me.

The voices grew more distant then, and as they died out completely Boris let out a breath I hadn't even noticed him holding. Leaning away from me now, he brought his cigarette to his mouth again as he leaned over his legs, annoyance flooding his features. I gave him a peculiar look, wondering what that had been all about. Before I had time to mouth the question though, he hushed at me.

''Don't ask. Just do as I say and keep out of that corridor.''

As he stood up, my brain worked desperately to try to figure out just what was going on. Was it possible that Boris was the only one who knew I was here? Had he kept me a secret from his own comrades, who ever they were? This thought sickened me, coldness filling me, making my very spine curl in shivers.

''Boris!'' I hissed with a voice something much like a whisper. ''Boris what's – ''

Without a warning he grabbed me harshly by the collar, hissing loudly in my ear, words dripping with poison as his warm breath danced across my skin.

''Keep – out – of – the – fucking – corridor''

I blinked, a little shocked at the tone in his voice. He threw me relentlessly to the ground, snorting as he walked away. It wasn't until after he had gone, that I managed to actually catch up with reality. His smoke-stained breath still lingering in my nostrils, I shivered yet again as I thought about the craziness I had landed myself in. This was just not happening to me.

But then realization caressed me, greeting me with sly eyes as it sunk into my mind. Of course, how could I not think that far? If I were to keep out of the corridor, it had to mean something was going on. Maybe a meeting, perhaps something else, it didn't matter. All that really mattered was that if everyone had attention elsewhere…

I finally had an opportunity to escape.

**X**

The corridor was silent, void of any movement except a chilly breeze that I had no idea where it came from. I hadn't even known there was a corridor before Boris strictly told me not to go there. Of course I had to disobey. For the first time in however long time I'd been gone, an opportunity of freedom was offered to me. And I was not stupid enough to let that slip.

Limping through the darkness, my leg still hurt and pulsated like a little ticking bomb. I felt like I was living on borrowed time, not daring to waste any seconds lingering around there at all. I couldn't afford to be captured again, couldn't take being locked up in the darkness anymore. It didn't matter what Boris had his ass landed into, I was not going to let myself get dragged down with him.

Stopping to catch my ragged breath, a knife of guilt stabbed my tightened chest. Was this selfish of me? Sure, I was hurt, hungry and exhausted but… Boris needed help, right? Just as much as I did, I couldn't just leave him the… No, no, no, Rei, focus! You have to get out, have to find help, have to get home, anything, just get away from there.

I swallowed down a large gulp of air, readying myself, before limping onwards again. Wherever I was it sure was cold, a damp, moist smell of salt in the air but I couldn't really place it. Slight panic rose in me as I realized, I could be anywhere in the world. Okay, maybe not on the other side of the ocean or anything like that but… still.

If I got out of there undetected, how was I supposed to get into safety? I wasn't wearing my jacket and something told me Boris wouldn't tell me where it was. Which left me empty handed, with nothing but the clothes on my back and a slight headache. The only thing which kept me limping forth was my stubbornness. I just couldn't die here.

But suddenly I stopped, my breathing coming in sharp, strained gulps making it hard to distinguish any other sound. But if I listened closely, I thought I could hear voices. Voices muffled and hushed, yet clear as day. I looked around, fear rising in me as I expected the worst. What if they had noticed my escape already?

But before I lost the last sanity I had, I could notice a faint light just further up the hall. There was a door, almost closed except for the little crack through which the voices came crawling. Dripping through the air like poison, I almost shuddered when I recognized one of them as Boris'. His voice was stern and cold, like it had always been yet so strained I feared it would actually tear. They had to be discussing something important.

Sneaking closer, as silently as I could with my dysfunctional leg, I suppressed every shot of pain the wound gave me for each movement I made, getting closer and closer to the room as time went. When I had reached the little spring in the doorway, I silently leaned against the wall, making myself as flat and invisible as possible. It was a miracle I wasn't panicking at such a moment, just a few meters away from freedom and yet only a wall away from my captor.

This was not a good moment to think. A breath too loud, or a hiss of pain, even just a faulty movement, could most likely lead to my death.

The thought almost made me laugh. This was so absurd. Like some scene out of a gangster movie, what the hell was I doing in the middle of it? I was supposed to be at work, smiling at customers, waiting for the clock to strike six so I could go home and pass out in my couch. I wasn't supposed to be here, in a wet corridor, listening to voices of strangers as they schemed something undoubtedly nasty. I was supposed to suffer from sore muscles, not a god damn bullet wound. This was, without doubt, the most insane experience of my entire life.

If I got out of it alive, Fate had a great deal to explain.

''Yeah, yeah, I get that'' one of the voices from behind the door spoke, bored yet hostile. ''But if that fucking asshole doesn't keep his men off our turf…''

''Yeah, didn't he go after Kuznetsov just a day ago?''

''Exactly! If they start ganging up on us – ''

''Guys, guys, you're thinking small.''

Many voices spoke at the same time, blurring into nonsense of nothing that I couldn't make out.

''You ever heard that saying? Cut off the head and the body will fall or somethin' like that?''

''Whatcha' saying?''

''I say we take out the leader.''

My eyes widened dramatically as I wasn't sure just how to take this. This didn't sound like some small little thug-business. This was serious. They weren't talking about just fighting, and even though I should probably have realized this sooner… they were planning a war.

''That's a real good idea!''

I swallowed. Boris had a great deal to explain. Sometime. When I wasn't standing right outside a room filled with lunatics. Biting my lips as if to not make a sound, I carefully limped away from there. I had almost gotten out of hearing range when something large and very hairy got in my way. Something very hairy that yelped very loud.

Mr. Snufflepop hissed and growled at me, his round eyes filled with damnation and agony as his tousled tail slithered away from me. I looked at him in great alarm, waving my arms desperately, trying to get the cat to keep quiet. But it was too late. The animal hated me, and his loud noises had already reached the others.

I tried to breathe, but with your heart caught in your throat it's not all too easy.

''Did you guys hear that?'' one of the voices spoke, and I swore I could heart chairs moving.

''It's prolly just the damn cat.''

''No, no! I thought I heard something…''

I couldn't even breathe now. If it was out of fear or just trying to be silent, I didn't know. But even without the nauseating pain in my leg it would have been nearly impossible to move, as if my body just decided to abandon me at the last minute. I had always wondered just why the body decided to not move when danger was up ahead. After all, it couldn't have chosen a worse moment to stop co-operating, could it?

Steps were hurrying towards me now, and I knew it was just a matter of seconds before that door would open. Cursing mentally at myself, I began my limping and despite the pain it brought me, despite the sweat and frantic heart I fastened my steps, staggering through the corridor as if my life and everything I loved depended on it. All logic had abandoned me, everything that moved inside my brain was the pure and naked fear I tried to ignore.

But it kept laughing at me, kept twirling and gnawing at my soul as panic sragged me down, like metal weights attached to my legs. I tried not to think too much, tried not to feel but along some point I guess I failed. The only thing keeping me alive so far was my stubbornness, my fighting spirit refusing to lie down and die. Never give up, never say die, never put your guard down. Those were words etched into my brain since I learned to speak, and I had never been as grateful for them as I was now.

Trudging on, the steps behind me sounded clearer now, echoing and I hurried on. Somewhere along the line I was sure I could feel something warm trickling down my leg, but I didn't care. It didn't matter because I could see the light, like some bad joke, at the end of the tunnel. This was all like on of God's pranks. I almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of my situation, but I didn't trust my voice to carry it through.

My hand on the door, pushing all I could before stumbling out into freedom. Cold air brushing against my skin like a thousand knives through my flesh, my lungs extracting and hurling around in pain and I felt dizzy as the smell of the ocean hit me. Stumbling out, tripping on something invisible before tumbling down on the wet ground, the very breath abandoned me before I lay panting, staring up at a blue, blue sky.

It took a second or two before panic could grab me again, making me realize that while I was lying flat on my back and watching the clouds drift by, some very instable men were heading my way. Crawling up on my feet instantly, I sped off into whatever distance there was. My eyes were unfocused and so I couldn't really take in any of my surroundings, but I ran and ran and ran as far as my wound would let me.

Which wasn't much to brag about before I collapsed again, crashing face first into the ground, certainly disturbing my already smashed up nose. As blood trickled down my face, I let out a heavy cough, damning my worthless luck.

I didn't dare open my eyes. Listening instead, I tried to drink in every sound I could. There were the laughs of seagulls, as if my situation was amusing to them. The footsteps echoing around, spreading and looking separately for me, yet they didn't seem to find me. The mewling of that damned cat, everything mixing into some odd melody of lunacy I wasn't sure what to think of.

Opening my eyes, the frantic beating of my heart keeping me from passing out, I had to blink before my vision cleared. Dancing around me were the melancholic colours of sea-green and marine blue, a grey sky which stretched above the calm waves of cold, cold water. I couldn't believe this. Oo all the damn clichés there were… their secret headquarters had to be in the docks. Where was their imagination?

Their voices were calling out now, probably asking each other if they'd seen me. I could distinguish something frustrated in their voices, but my heart pounded much too loud for me to hear exactly what they said. I guess in a way, that was a good thing. Had I heard their plans, would I have been more determined to live, or just more frightened?

They say that in a crisis you know who your real friends are, and you also learn the truth about yourself. I guess that's what really breaks people down. Getting to know who they really are. More than often, you find you weren't exactly the hero you thought yourself to be. It's a rather sad thought, isn't it?

I guess the best word to describe the whole thing was 'confusing'. Why I didn't run when I heard steps coming up beside me, and why I didn't panic when someone yanked me up by the collar, or why I didn't scream when I met Boris' hateful eyes – it was all so very, very puzzling. I didn't understand anything, if it was from the shock or just sheer stupidity I guess I would never know.

''What the fuck did I just tell you?!'' his hiss cut like a needle through my ears, yet I only glared at him as he slammed me into the wall. ''What part of 'keep out of the corridor' was too difficult for your small brain to understand?!''

''Let go of me, you lunatic!'' I spat, knowing I was just fuelling the fire.

But I didn't care. I was just so damn confused, all I wanted was some answers. Some answers or to get as far away from there as possible. To forget this ever happened, to be back in my crappy apartment and my warm, empty bed. I wanted my normal life back, not any of this insane shit. But Boris wouldn't let me get away. He wouldn't let me forget and as I looked him in his eyes, I failed to comprehend why.

''Listen, if they find you, you're in deep trouble. Now as I'm doing a shithead like you a favour, I'd expect some fucking gratitude!''

''Fuck you, Kuznetsov! Just let me go!''

''Kuznetsov'' it was a stranger's voice that called out as a shadow rounded our corner. ''What's going on? I thought I heard…''

And before I could blink, before I could even react in any decent way, Boris had turned around and in one movement, sent the other man bleeding to the ground. I had no idea how he did it, all I could really register was the blood and the gasping, Boris' panting and the sudden spin of the world.

''Boris…''

''Shut up.''

''Did you just… attack one of your own?''

''I said _shut up_!''

I guess he didn't mean to shout at me. Not to spare my feelings or anything but because now he had drawn the attention of the others towards us. Cursing under his breath, kicking at the ground as if it had wronged him dearly, Boris clenched jaw and taut mouth looked closed to breaking. I was at a loss for words.

In any second they were going to come to our corner, they were going to see the passed out member and Boris' infuriated form. They were going to see me and somehow, they'd connect the threads. They'd understand something and there was no way out of it. Glaring hard and ruthless, nothing but a Tiger's roar in my voice, I looked at Boris as I spoke next.

''Boris, I don't care what fucked up scheme you have in your head. You have to let me leave!''

He just glared at me, so I spoke again.

''You know they'll understand you brought me here! I don't know why you're protecting me – ''

''I'm _not_ protecting you, you asshole''

''Whatever. I don't know why you're _''not protecting''_ me, but it's not going to work! Just let me go and pretend this never happened!''

I ignored his glare, ignored his trembling fists as he tried to control the anger. I ignored that I could hear the others getting closer and I ignored the utter guilt I felt for even considering leaving Boris. I didn't really want to, but this was his fault, wasn't it? And whatever way I could help, I'm sure it didn't involve me lying on a cold floor staring into nothing.

No, it was the best way for it to be. I had to get away from there. And I guess on some plane, he understood. Cursing yet again, he sighed in anger.

''Run'' he said, and then his eyes met mine again, like a shot through the night. ''Run for your life.''

And I did.

I ran and ran as fast as I could, air gushing past me furiously and pain ripping at my muscles without mercy. It didn't matter that fatigue and pain nibbled at my feet, screamed in my mind or clouded my vision, all I could think about was running. Ignoring the smell of defeat and the warmth of my blood, despite the dizziness I ran. Like a computer with only one programming, working without stopping until the goal was reached.

Even though the stitches tore and my muscles burned, the skin ached and the blood in my veins pumped till a point where my heart hurt, I didn't give up. I didn't care that the air felt like rocks in my chest. Nothing mattered but getting away. And as the sounds of Boris talking to his comrades died away into the distance, as the sound of waves and the smell of oil became a past memory, a past problem, I ran faster.

**X**

Somewhere along the road I must have passed out. Whether from hunger, exhaustion or loss of blood I didn't know. But every part of me hurt like I had just been run over by a car, or hit by a comet, chewed up and spat out. Tremors shaking my body, warmth battled the cold that tried to dominate my skin, leaving me sweating and trembling at the same time. I tried to blink, yet my eyes stung and my eyelids seemed to weigh tons.

I had no idea where I was. I didn't even know the time of day. But I guess that was all trifle matters. I was alive, I was free and I was victorious. Well, as victorious as a coward that ran for his life could be at least. Even though I liked to think of it more as tactical retreat, the ugly truth still laughed haughtily at me. I had fled the scene like a scared little kitten, and the Gods only knew whatever mess Boris was in.

He wasn't even my friend, and yet I knew, with the greatest frustration in my heart, that I had to help him. For the sake of my own humanity, I couldn't just let this slide. I groaned, my head drumming in pain as the headache grew worse. Before I helped that bitter old Russian I had to find my way to a hospital.

Groaning I sat up on shaky arms, coughing up dust and dirt and humiliation. No one seemed to be around, and as I looked around I noticed I wasn't too far away from civilisation. Sure, I was in the outskirts, and as luck would have it the slum… but no one was around for miles, which I guess was a good thing.

And then I spotted it. Like a miracle in the dark and dusty night, I saw it. It was torn and tattered, well used within its broken cage of glass, yet it was so beautiful. A pay-phone, just a few steps away from me. Hissing at the pain, I stood up and stumbled towards it, salvation only a phone call away.

My heart was beating rapidly as I hit the numbers, digging desperately through my pockets I had by some miracle found a single, lonely coin. With a good luck kiss I pushed it in, hoping for the life of it that someone would answer. With each ring something inside of me seemed to break, and by the fifth one I almost wanted to scream.

''Come on, come on, come on, come on…''

''_What the hell?! Who's dumb enough to call me at this hour?! Kiki, if it's you I swear I'll rip out your…_''

I sighed a sigh of relief, feeling the dread and the frustration leaving me, like tar freeing my lungs, fresh night air streaming into my throat and I sighed again just for the sake of it. Clutching the phone tightly in my hand, I didn't know if I should smile or yell.

''Why did you set me up with a criminal?!''

''_And then I'll shove it down your… Rei?!_''

''Yes, it's me! And I'm really mad at you!''

She clumsily ignored my statement, huffing into the phone as if I was the one who had screwed up.

''_Where the hell are you?! It's been two days! We've been worried sick!_''

''Well if you hadn't set me up with a damn criminal I might have been home by now!''

There was a pause on the other end, and I didn't know if it was just for dramatic effect or if Mao was seriously surprised. She stammered for a moment, but her words faltered her and she turned quiet again.

''_You… what?_''

''A criminal, Mao. You have some serious explaining to do!''

I didn't really want to be mad at her. I knew her intentions had been good but I couldn't take being nice right that moment. I was furious, I was scared and confused and if something didn't happen soon I was going to explode. I wanted an explanation, I wanted a warm bath and a good meal and I wanted things to start making sense. Perhaps it was cruel of me to yell at her like I did, but I blamed her because after all, it was partially her fault. Even if she only wanted to help.

''_He's a… criminal? Oh, God, Rei I didn't know! Honestly!_''

''You swear on your life?''

''_Yes I do, you prick! Don't you trust me!?_''

''What do you think?! I've been running for I don't know how long with a damn bullet wound in my leg!''

''_You've been shot?!_'' her screech alone was enough to make my ears ring, and I had to keep the phone a great length away from me in order to not turn deaf. ''_Where are you?! What happened?! Want me to pick you up?_''

''Calm down, Mao I – ''

I was just about to get relieved, just about to tell her where I thought I was (since I really had no real idea, my head was still threatening to explode) and make her pick me up. I was just about to get out of this nightmare altogether when suddenly, a new voice entered the line.

''_Your time has run out_'' it said in that cold, mechanic and emotionless voice and I instantly cursed as I knew what it meant. ''_Please insert another coin if you wish to lengthen your time_''

Desperately I dug through every pocket I had, wanting to find another coin, right that moment I could have give anything to just find one small, little round metallic piece inside my pockets but all I got was dust. As the line went dead and my hope died with it, I let my hand fall limply to my side as I leaned against the glass. The phone still harshly clutched in my hand, shaking, everything stood still.

I couldn't hold it together anymore. Not when everything came bursting down on me, like the weight of the entire sky, crushing me, bringing me to my knees as I slid down the wall of the booth, desperately starting to cry.

Life just wasn't playing fair anymore.


	4. Pacing In The Cage

Since it was at least a millennium since I last watched Beyblade, I have no clue about some characters. So I'm gonna write them as I want to. So, you're hereby warned; slight OOCness might occur. To my defence I'll say; Life can turn Jesus himself into a psycho.

Peace and reviews.

* * *

**Chapter Four  
****Pacing In the Cage**

The world was a funny place sometimes. Just when you thought the long days at work or the emptiness in your bed were your biggest problems, you were proven wrong. When everything was boring and you craved for something exciting to happen, saying to yourself 'just like in the movies', you land your ass into one and suddenly, your boring life in front of the TV doesn't look so bad anymore.

I'd been hurt before. I had never been shot though, and I had never run the fastest I could for the longest I could with a wounded leg. I assumed it was only normal that I felt a bit tipsy, nodding off every now and then as my head hurt and throbbed like it was a bullet wound itself. The blood had dried to my skin since long ago, as had the tears in my face. I don't know how long I had been sitting there, the chilly air had made me numb and stiff already. But I guess it had been quite a while.

I wanted to feel something, yet the overwhelming sense of it all made me glad I didn't. I had no money, nowhere to go, no one knew where I was and if I didn't to something about my leg soon my body would not be glad at me. Yet I didn't have the energy to be scared or frustrated. I didn't bother panicking because it would give me nothing. I could do nothing and if I could, I was too exhausted to come up with some sort of plan. All I really could do was sit there, staring at a starless sky, hoping that somehow it would turn out alright.

I wondered where Boris was. Wondered what he was doing. If he was alive, if everything was okay. It made me feel stupid. Perhaps I was blowing things way out of proportion. Or perhaps I wasn't taking things seriously enough. But there wasn't much I could do about it in the position I was, anyway. My first priority was the hospital, and then… Well I didn't know what to do. It wasn't like I could call him. I could call Kai though. Yeah, that was probably good. Kai would know what to do. He always did.

I sighed. It wasn't worth thinking about, was it? After all, I was stuck. Until someone nice came along, which I doubted, I would just have to wait till either I caught my breath and could limp into town myself, or a miracle to happen. The sad thing about it was that I didn't know which was more likely to occur.

And yet, someone up there must either hate my guts or love me very much. I didn't know how long the man shaped shadow had been looming over me, I hadn't even heard footsteps. To caught up in the dizziness and tiredness to notice anything but my own thoughts. Yet there he was, a stranger who looked so very familiar. Silver hair and sharp, intelligent eyes, an arrogant mouth on a competitive face, tall and threatening. I blinked, confused and alarmed, wanting to sprint and stay put at the same time.

''Well, well, well'' a strong voice spoke, haughty yet oddly friendly. ''Rei Kon. Never thought I'd run into you here.''

I didn't say anything, just sat there, squinting as the situation seemed to make even less sense than I thought it capable of. My instincts weren't helpful either, and it unnerved me not to know whether this was a friend or a foe. Then the figure crouched down, face closer to mine now and in the dim streetlight, I realized who it was.

''Garland?''

He smiled, a gesture that sent chills down my back even though I had no idea why.

''You look a little pale.''

Coughing I tried to straighten, but my eyelids were growing heavier and I knew it wouldn't take long before the struggle to stay awake would be over. I couldn't fight unconsciousness forever, and my energy had been running on empty all night.

''Garland, oh thank the Gods…'' I mumbled, voice slurry and drawling, the words much too heavy.

We all had quite a diffuse idea of the competitive Blader known as Garland. Since he put Yuriy in the hospital, we had tried to act nice yet there would always remain a bitter resent among us. Kai was not the forgiving kind, and that went for all of the Russians. Even though it had been a long while since we heard of the man, I still didn't trust him. And perhaps that just flustered me more in the awkward position I was put in. My only ally being a man so hungry for victory he'd hurt others to gain it, yet he wasn't holding a gun to my face which seemed to become a rare thing as of late.

''My, my, you're bleeding''

''Garland…'' I was close to passing out now, feeling darkness fingering at me, even breathing became hard. ''I need help''

''You sure do.''

There was something in his eyes, something I couldn't quite place. It was lurking behind his iris, and I knew within me that it was something important, something I should know and yet I had no idea what to make of it. Something told me not to trust him, but I brushed it off as old habits that died hard. Everyone made mistakes. Boris did, obviously. Kai did, I still trusted him. I made a lot of mistakes, and I wasn't a bad person. Garland deserved a second chance as well. So why couldn't I believe that?

''Don't worry'' he said as I couldn't keep my head straight anymore. ''Rest your eyes.''

Somewhere between me sitting straight and falling forwards I landed with my head against his shoulder. It didn't feel right, but I couldn't come up with a reason for it to feel wrong either. I could trust him, couldn't I? I had to, anyway. What other choice did I have? Garlands muscles proved not to be just for show as he scooped me up, and even if I had wanted to argue I didn't find the strength, and the next thing I knew I was being carried.

''Rest your eyes, Rei. It'll all be better when you wake up.''

Somehow I doubted him.

**X**

My head was pounding like a drum on the battlefield. A torrid pain that could almost measure with that in my leg, throwing and thrusting and it was almost loud enough to drown my thoughts. Sweat covered my forehead and I knew, I could feel that something was wrong. I just didn't know if I wanted to find out what it was.

As I opened my eyes a room came to my vision. Blurry colours that seemed odd and misplaced, before they morphed into furniture and shapes. Familiar things that felt so alien. Something stung when I tried to move, my wrist refusing to obey me as I couldn't move my arms. Right then I was too dizzy to understand why, but it didn't take long before I realized I was tied to a chair.

Panic was returning to me, my heart beating frantically, trying to crawl out of my mouth again. I blinked, gasping for air which seemed to solidify in my throat, choking me and I was getting scared now. Had they found me again? How was that possible? How long was I out for? I groaned, frustrated at not knowing, confusion angering me and all I wanted more than anything was an explanation. Anything to keep me from going insane.

''Hello?'' I called out, but not even an echo answered me. ''Is anyone there?''

For a moment I listened to the silence, so tired and yet so stressed. Where was I?

''Hello?''

Nothing. Not a breath or movement, nothing at all but the solitude and emptiness that surrounded me. The room wasn't dark, dimly lit to the point where I could make out the door and the objects placed inside. It didn't smell remotely like the room Boris had led me to, but I wasn't sure that was a good thing either.

''Hello?! Who's there?''

I was getting angrier by the second, by each silent moment that crawled by me. I wanted answers. I demanded to know just where I was and why in hell I was tied down. Why and how I got from a blind date to a god damn hostage situation, not knowing what emotion screamed the highest. I wanted to cry and I wanted to scream, most of all I just wanted to be home.

The door suddenly opened, sharp light flowing into the room before it closed again. Garland was standing in front of me, a tray of food in his arms and that look in his eyes. The one that I didn't know just what it meant, more than one thing. For some reason, I knew he couldn't be trusted..

''Garland?'' I hissed as he walked towards me, stopping just out of biting range.

''You're awake, I see.''

''What the hell is this?!''

''It's steak and potatoes. Nothing fancy but you looked hungry.''

His nonchalance stirred the anger further, mixing with the dread it forced out a growl from me. It wouldn't have mattered if Saint Mary herself had been standing there, I'd been just as furious either way. This situation was absurd, and either someone slipped something really nasty into my drink and it was all just a bad, bad hallucination or I really needed an explanation.

''Where the hell am I?!''

''Safe.''

''And why don't I believe that?''

Liar. I knew I wasn't safe. Every time that word was uttered around me I only seemed to land into deeper shit. He was just playing with me. And whatever sick game it was I wanted out. Garland sighed, putting the tray down on the floor before shaking his head at me.

''I'm a little hurt, Rei''

I blinked, taken aback by his words, clueless as of what to say. He smirked at the look in my eyes and leaned closer. I tried to back away by instinct but I couldn't move far as due to my restraints, and the further into my back the chair dug, the closer he just seemed to come. Until he was just a breath away from my ear and I could hear that haughty smirk in his voice.

''After all, I waited all night for you. It isn't very polite to stand people up.''

''What the hell are you talking about?''

''That lowlife Russian seems to have rubbed off on you. You sound just like him.'' I shivered as he leaned away a centimetre to look at me, staring me straight in the eyes. ''Tell me Rei, what does he have that I don't?''

I almost couldn't bring myself to answer, the words sticking in my throat as I stared at him in confusion.

''You don't understand?'' he sounded slightly offended now. ''Don't say you've forgotten about our date already.''

And just like that, the whole world stopped spinning. Like when someone tells you your baby grew out a second head, or you wife disappears for six months and comes back having undergone a sex change. Or when your dog starts to talk. Just as detached from reality, yet so real you have to accept it, have to realize it's there and you can't run from it because it's right in front of you. And you just want to scream.

Tall, grey haired and foreign with piercing eyes. Of course. Everything and everyone that wasn't Chinese Mao considered as foreign. Boris hadn't just pretended not to know anything about the date because he hadn't been involved in it in the first place. Boris wasn't the one I was waiting for at the bar. In fact, Boris had nothing to do with it at all. It was Garland I was supposed to meet. And all of this was just one great misunderstanding.

I was so incredibly stupid.

''Of all the people'' he growled, glaring at me now. ''You just had to pick _him_, didn't you?''

I blinked for the thousandth time, fighting to regain my words, my grip of reality, my sanity. I failed as expected, and all I could manage was to stare. Garland reached out a hand to stroke my cheek, and I shivered under his touch. The sharpness of his gaze turned into a fatal razor-like gleam, and if I had been afraid before that was nothing compared to now.

''You're my… you're my… _you're_…'' I stuttered. ''You're my… date?''

I couldn't get a grip of it, couldn't understand it. I didn't want to understand it. Everything was too absurd. This couldn't be real.

''Yes'' he snarled, and I could practically hear the flames in his tone. ''_I'm_your date, not that worthless amateur Russian. I know it was a blind date, but still, Rei. How could you ever confuse me with that… scum?''

''Jealousy or not, isn't this going too far?''

''Jealousy?''

''You've tied me to a chair, Garland.''

Garland laughed. A short and bitter laugh full of rotten irony and I shivered at the sound of it. He shook his head as he choked the laugh down, shaking his head at me again. Before I could react his hand struck my face, a pain exploding in my cheek as I was sure I could hear my skin tear.

''I can take a no, Rei, I really can. But what I can't stand is watching a _rival_ claiming _my_ prize.''

''Rival? What are you..?''

Then it hit me. The people that Boris spoke about. Their rivals, their enemies, those who wanted us both dead, they were all under Garland's management. He was the enemy, and that just made the whole thing all the more complicated. I had heard news about Beybladers giving up the sport the past years, most of them people I knew of. I knew this town wasn't low on the crime rate when I moved here and yet… this coincidence was the most bizarre thing I had ever come upon in my entire life.

''You're insane'' I whispered, too exhausted to do anything else.

Garland's glare intensified, a coldness claiming his features as he looked more like a Death God than a normal human. Right that moment, he wasn't just an overly competitive athlete, or a sore loser. He was a lunatic. And I was caught in his trap.

Fuck.

''No, I'm not. I just had a little bad luck. But you…'' he snorted. ''You had the worst luck of all.''

As he leaned closer, only one thing ran through my head as his breath fell upon my face, light as the first winter snow.

''You've seen quite too much, Rei. Now I can't have that, I really can't.''

I hate my life.

''I don't know why that maniac tried so hard to protect you…''

I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.

''Huh'' he shook his head again, fingers grabbing my chin with such force I barely suppressed a yelp of pain. ''It would be sad to damage such a fine face…''

''You shouldn't have hit me then'' I hissed, despite how stupid it was of me to say anything at all.

Garland's glare sharpened.

''We'll have to do something about that tongue of yours. Not that I think you'll get away to tell anything but… you're prettier when you're quiet. I'll get someone to fix that.''

I _hate_ my life.

''What are you planning?''

There was that nauseating obnoxious smirk again.

''You'll see, Rei, you'll see.''

I thought he was finally going to leave, relief embracing me as the fog lifted from my brain. But the bastard stopped at the door, looking over his shoulder with that mysterious old look. I'll only admit this once, but that moment he scared the hell out of me.

''Don't let your food get cold.''

And with that, he left. Leaving me with the silence, and a food tray that wasn't just looking extremely suspicious by then, it was also out of my reach. If he forgot to mention how I was supposed to reach for it with tied hands, or if he just wanted to screw with my head, on purpose or not, he had done a fine job. I groaned in exasperation, hanging my head as I let dread swallow me whole.

It's final then, Beyblading turns people into psychopaths.

**X**

I was so incredibly hungry. My stomach wasn't even making whining noises anymore. Instead it just erupted into stabs of back-bending pain whenever I least expected it, leaving me short for breath and patience. I just sat waiting for unconsciousness to grip me, anything to escape the situation I was in. But it never did. Instead I just sat there, not really awake yet aware of everything around me. The pain in my wrists from where the rope burned, the emptiness in my stomach and the headache that had only, if possible, worsened.

I had tried to understand the situation, but failed. Getting a grip of it would have been easier if the whole drama had been a slippery soap covered in lube. I groaned. What ever happened to working at 7 Eleven? Even if Beyblading soon ended for every Blader, that wasn't a reason for life to go straight to hell. Even Takao the world champion had to settle down with a real job eventually. But just because a career was over it didn't mean one should pick up a gun and go all Dirty Harry on the world. Okay, so Boris was Boris, I didn't really expect much from him. But Garland?

How could two of the athletic world's most famous sportsmen turn down the slippery slope of criminality without anyone noticing? Perhaps because they never left any witnesses. People who could let their tongue slip and talk, tell the world about what had really happened. People stupid enough to hand themselves into situations like these. People like myself. Oh, man. I was in really deep shit, wasn't I?

All I wanted was a boyfriend. Was that so much to ask? And I thought the worst thing that could happen was dying alone. That or AIDS. But instead I got shot in the leg and kidnapped by not only one gang, no, by two. Gee, wasn't I the popular one?

I sighed. What was I going to do now? Gnaw off my arms and kick down the door and Kung Fu my way out of there? Sure, I had some skills but I couldn't take on a whole team of armed criminals. Especially not in the state my body was in. What could I even do? Sit there and wait for either someone to kill me or burst through the wall and save me? Yeah, like that would happen. I wasn't just screwed, I was royally fucked.

**X**

I didn't know how much time had passed. I knew I had gotten a few meals here and there, but other than that I met no one. No one spoke to me, no one entered the room and it was driving me insane. If their idea of keeping a witness quiet was to drive him crazy, then they were damn close to succeeding. If it weren't for my stubbornness I bet they would have made it already.

And to add to my bad luck, I was starting to get a cold. At least it felt like that. My whole body going warm and cold like a tidal wave swept through it, shivering and sweating in intervals. My throat was sore and my headache only grew like an evil mutation in my head. I was feeling weak, sleep deprived and hungry. Things weren't exactly looking bright.

And they only darkened when that door opened again. I knew it couldn't be a good thing, because either Garland would be back, or someone worse would. A person emerged at the door, watching me silently like one eyes their dinner. It would probably have unnerved me if I had the energy to think properly.

The person came closer now, a man I'd never seen before whose eyes were empty and cold. I could practically see the blood on his hands even though they were perfectly clean. I could smell how much he just wanted to watch me squirm. The moment we made eye contact, a war had started between us and I knew I couldn't let him win.

''Boss said you talk an awful lot'' he grinned, something in his voice making my skin crawl. ''Says I should do something about that.''

I told myself to stay calm, to not jump to conclusions and panic. It would lead me nowhere. He was probably just there to scare me, I told myself. Nothing bad was going to happen if I just stayed calm. But I knew I was a big fat liar. He swung out a briefcase and put it on a nearby table. As he watched its contents his face dressed in a smile that only broadened like a spreading disease. Under the dim light of the room I could see several shiny objects, glimmering treasures of stainless steel in the black, velvet case.

He took one out and watched it tenderly, the first spark of emotion I'd seen on his face as he caressed the thin blade of a scalpel. Smiling, death in his eyes he turned to me, ecstatic from heart. I shivered, my eyes widening as I tried to crawl away from him. It didn't result in anything other than the chair tipping over and my headache worsening, the stench of humiliation clinging to me. He laughed at me, an evil, sinister laugh that promised me nothing but pain.

With two danclike steps he came closer, leaning over me. His breath stunk foul and nasty making my heart beat so heard it wouldn't have surprised me if he heard it too. He laughed, putting a large, bony hand on my chest as he licked his lips.

''I know you're excited. I'm excited too'' then he licked the scalpels handle, coming even closer now. ''We're going to have a lot of fun, the three of us.''

I wanted to scream. Wanted to rip that damn smile off his face and disappear into the ground. I kicked and tossed as much as I could, but my powers were weak and his grip was strong, holding me down till no air got into my lungs. Stifling my screams, rendering me completely helpless.

''I know boss said not to hurt your face… but I could get away with anything else. Don't you think?''

A cold, chilling touch caressed my chest softly. Light as a whisper and I almost didn't notice it, until my body realized what was happening and the pain exploded without mercy. The scalpel ran so swift and smooth through my skin and flesh, blood forming like little rubies, soaked up by my dirty shirt. I screamed then, if it was from the pain or the fear I couldn't quite tell. I squirmed and fought, everything to put up a fight but he was so incredibly strong. All the while as panic closed it's grip around my throat, I tried my hardest not to look him in the eyes.

''Boss said to remove your tongue. Now that little scream of yours just cost me a lot.'' He seemed to shiver in contempt. ''He's not gonna be happy with me. Still… I love a good scream.''

''You're _sick!_'' I spat, my voice hoarse from lack of use.

But he just smirked at me, and no matter how much I tried this time I couldn't avoid meeting his gaze. Dead, empty eyes void of anything even resembling humanity, leaving me cold and numb, feeling nothing but the searing pain in my new wound.

He gripped my chin, forcing my mouth open with a grip so strong I feared my jaw would actually break. Leaning closer he brought the scalpel to my mouth, and I could feel the chill of it as the tip met my tongue. I shivered, tossing even more. But it was useless.

''You decide how messy this will be, you know''

The tip cut into my tongue, a pain so revolting stirring me up and I wanted nothing but to disappear. Then, of all the things he could have done, he laughed.

''Go ahead, scream for me.''

My heart beat so fast it felt like one even movement, my entire life flashing before me in the panic as I wondered what I had done to deserve this. All the while his haunting eyes etching their way into me, even when I tore my eyes away. His grip tightened, forcing my mouth open yet again and the scalpel pushed in deeper.

''Come on, pretty'' he whispered in my ear. ''Scream.''


	5. Land On Your Feet

I found a forum that paired Garland x Bryan. It was hilarious.

* * *

**C****hapter Five  
Land On Your Feet**

It all happened so fast I barely kept up. The first thing that came to my mind was how vile the blood tasted. The second was mostly a blur of panic over losing my tongue and anger towards the psycho who held the scalpel. Lying flat on my back, bleeding and with his aroused panting in my ear, I was so sickened I almost forgot to feel the pain.

But he didn't get too far. If it was a miracle or just a lucky strike, something made my life a hell of a lot easier. Or, so I thought for the moment as the door suddenly flew off its hinges, leaving the doorway open and almost naked. The guy with the scalpel spun around, surprise in his eyes but then there was nothing in them at all. A foot had kicked him off his feet and I could bet my shoes he was going to wake up with some brain damage.

But my enemy's enemy didn't turn out to be my friend, the tall man not exactly looking happy to see me. He eyed me suspiciously, then let out his own little amused laugh, his face twisted as if he wasn't sure what to do. He put his foot on the chair, leaning over it to give me some sort of scornful look, bemused and amused at the same time.

I just glared at him through the blood and the sweat and the total shock that was eating me alive. Either he was going to help me or hurt me, and I could not stand waiting to find out what. All the patience I had ran out long ago. But then Mr. Friendfoe did a funny thing. He turned to look over his shoulder and shouted the last thing I ever expected to hear.

''Ey, Kuznetsov! I found something!''

I was torn between relief and despair. Knowing where one stood in a battle like this was about as easy as to find a wrinkle in a plastic surgery clinic. Boris had been protecting me so far, but also he had beaten the crap out of me and tried to kill me. Seeing how Garland was not really prince charming himself, I wondered just how much I could trust a man who tried to slice a sixteen-year-old to death with wind-attacks when he was a teenager.

My questions were not unanswered for long, since soon I could see a shadow emerging in the doorway. It, as I had assumed, proved to be Boris but he looked quite surprised to see me. I couldn't quite tell if it was anger blazing in his glare, or if it was something else. Something I couldn't decipher yet I didn't want to bet all I had that it was something bad.

''Looks like I just saved him from some sick torture''

Mr. Friendfoe nodded towards the briefcase containing all of the unconscious psycho's little shiny friends. Boris barely even glanced at it, his eyes firmly fixated on me as if I was the only thing in the universe. It almost made me miss torture.

''Leave him. We have no use for him.'' The Russian muttered.

I would have protested if my tongue hadn't begun to swell.

''Hey, I think that a guy who was just about to get his tongue cut off must have quite some interesting things to say''

''I don't care what you think, we're leaving him''

Mr. Friendfoe glared at his fellow partner in crime, a partner who looked more like he was considering backstabbing as a new career. I, on the other hand, agreed with the other man and to show them this I instantly started gurgling and mumbling, any sound that wasn't too painful to produce. Boris just gave me a glare of death, as if to tell me something I was too emotionally unstable to understand. In hindsight, I don't know if I regret it or not.

''We should ask boss first''

''Are you're even dumber than you look? We're _leaving_ him.''

''Just like that?''

''Let him bleed or starve or what the fuck ever!''

Mr. Friendfoe snorted, standing up properly to glare the Russian straight in the face. None of them intending to step down, it was almost painful to see. Two alpha males sharpening their horns before bashing right into each other, skulls breaking and blood flowing. To top it all off, the emotional storm I'd been endearing had momentarily shut off the pain, but was now starting to fade away, leaving me in agony again.

''He's not important!'' Boris snarled in a low and vicious way that would have cut down a forest.

But his colleague only smiled. A dark and bitter smile void of anything that a smile should originally have. It was somewhat like putting a dress on a rotting corpse.

''In that case'' in one swift movement he had fished up a gun from his jacket, the weapon looking ominous and almost glowing in the dim light. ''You won't argue with me doing this''

It was time to panic now. Thrashing and throwing I tried a scream, but all it gave me was a wave of blinding pain splitting my skull. I never stopped moving though, kicking and jumping and doing all the motions a person tied to a chair could do. Mr. Friendfoe didn't seem to care though, his gun pointed at me from out of nowhere. My eyes widened remarkably, and for a moment it looked almost like he was checking his own reflection in my eyes.

''A mute witness is a dead witness. Bye bye, kiddo''

A swift and soft sound, no doubt the one of a silenced gun, carried through the air as graceful as a dancer. Quicker than a thought, the bullet hade entered the targeted cranium within a moment. I screamed this time, not really knowing how it would help since a gun was being fired and last time I checked the sound of my voice wasn't bullet-proof. Then, I waited. Waited for the pain and the blood that undoubtedly would come from yet another wound. I ignored the thoughts of why everyone found it fun to use me as target practice, and instead focused on my death.

A death that seemed rather reluctant to come.

Without having noticed when I closed them, I opened my eyes. It took a while for my vision to clear, but as it did, the image before me was a tad surprising. Boris putting his gun back from wherever he had gotten it from, blood on the wall as the same ruby liquid trickled across the floor, oozing out of a hole attached to Mr. Friendfoe's head. If my breath hadn't stuck in my lungs I would have gasped.

Boris gave me a look that clearly promised an excruciating and gruesome death if I even opened my mouth. So I obeyed him and kept quiet, merely gazing at him in shock. The Russian muttered curses in his native tongue, and it wouldn't surprise me if most of them were about me. Bending down he grabbed a deathly hold of my throat, growling me right in the face with as much threat as he could manage.

''I'm going to kick your ass''

''Hrm?!''

I can admit it was a pathetic sound, but it was sadly all I could manage. I wanted to say something more along the lines of '_What the hell are you talking about? I'm the one supposed to kick your ass for landing me in this mess to begin with! Now get me to a hospital and shut up.'_ But the taste of blood has a habit of killing your mood for chit chat.

''Don't move. Don't squeal. Don't breathe.''

''Hr grrgg grrr mre?!''

''Yes, I'm going to leave you.''

Wherever he learned the graceful language of Gargling I never want to find out. Perhaps he just anticipated what I was going to say long before he even spoke himself. Perhaps Boris was just good that way. Perhaps it just made him a little creepier. That and the fact that he just killed a man without even blinking. Suddenly getting Boris to leave me alone was not sounding like a bad idea. Except for the fact that it would leave me alone, bound and bleeding, no one knowing where I was.

''Having problems, Kuznetsov?'' some voice called from outside the room.

Boris gave me one final glare before the grip loosened and he stood up.

''Everything's fine.''

''I thought I heard a ruckus – ''

''I said everything's _fine!_''

I wanted to tell him what a stupid mistake he'd just done. How was he going to explain his dead comrade or the blood on his shoes? I wanted to ask him how the hell bleeding to death was considered as keeping me safe. All the effort he'd put into keeping me out of harms way, it would all be useless if he left me there. If he was going to walk away, he could as well have left me to die in that alley when all of this started.

Perhaps I didn't need to tell him this. Because just by looking at him, he seemed to read my eyes like neon signs in the dark. He muttered, knowing I was right and undoubtedly hating my guts for it. I did not doubt he was going to kick my ass when he got the chance. After a lot of thinking, he finally shook his head, his eyes reluctant as if he'd come to some new realization he'd rather left untouched.

''I hate you.''

Was all he said before he leaned down again.

''I really, really hate you.''

I didn't even bother gurgling. I just gave him a tired, piercing look, telling him to hurry the hell up and get us out of there. Boris snarled, picking up a knife from somewhere inside his clothing, cutting the ropes that bound my hands and before I knew it I was breathless with pain. In just one moment he had picked me up and placed me over his shoulder, the strain it put on my wounds making my eyes water.

Cautious steps that seemed so unlike Boris led us out into a brightly lit corridor. Like a tunnel made entirely of light, everything spotlessly clean. It was like stepping out of a torture chamber in Saigon and into a hospital corridor in Beverly Hills. To my surprise it seemed empty of people, but I didn't dare hope luck was on our side. Knowing me I'd probably just jinx it.

I don't know for how long we walked before we heard the voices. The horrified and angered sounds of people finding Mr. Friendfoe's corpse. I didn't know how long it took before someone fired a gun and before Boris fastened his steps. I don't know how he got to the staircase and I don't know why he was even saving me. But Boris didn't seem to care. That moment, the fact that he was throwing everything he had away like discarded toilet paper, didn't seem to touch him the slightest.

Perhaps that only spoke about how his life was nothing to throw away in the first place.

My body felt awfully numb. You know how when you're drinking the first thing that goes numb is your lips? Until the feeling spreads through your skin to your fingertips and face, and soon you don't feel anything at all, like your soul is floating without a body, yet attached to heavy weights at the same time? That was the feeling I had. All the psychological and physical stress getting to me, and as we hurried down the stairs I really didn't blame my body foe shutting down.

A rain of bullets filled the air, little silver spots gushing by almost soundlessly at first. Cutting through the air before they ricocheted of the wall. Maybe it was just my imagination but for a moment I thought I could see the sparks reflect in his eyes. Eyes that were colder than they'd ever been before, icy blue like the arctic sky.

And maybe that's what disturbed me the most about the situation. The fact that there I was, on his shoulder, bleeding, with a swollen tongue, having been abducted twice and not knowing even what day it was while a lot of people I didn't know where shooting at us… and all I could really think of was his eyes. The eyes of a man who had only meant trouble every time I'd run into him. I had entrusted my life in the hands of a murderer, still I didn't know if that disturbed me the most, or the fact that he was the only one I could trust at all.

Boris flinched noticeably, gritting his teeth like a white cage to hinder the pain from escaping in a moan. I lifted my groggy head to see what he was making such a fuss about, ignoring the worry that gnawed at my heartstrings. I didn't see anything wrong with him, yet the warm, red liquid that grew into dark, crimson spots on his jacket and travelled onto my own clothes were bound to come from somewhere.

I tried to open my mouth, wanted to say something even though knowing I couldn't. Not only was it physically impossible, I couldn't even come up with good words to throw at him. But I guess Boris didn't care, as he knelt down to pick up his own gun, hissing and swearing as bullets rained down around us. If I squinted, it almost looked like falling stars.

''Fuck it'' he muttered, undoubtedly thinking very nasty thoughts. ''I should use you as a human shield''

I gave him a pointed glare, daring him to make reality of that thought. He ignored me, counterattacking as his gun fired off. Deafening bangs exploding in the air, turning up the volume of my headache as my ears filled with the chaos of guns and bullets and all the turmoil it caused. I clasped my hands over my ears, trying to shut everything out, yet it was impossible. I could even feel the movements in Boris' body, how his frame shook in anger and the blood that just kept gushing out of him, like burning lava against my skin. For a moment I thought I could almost smell sizzling flesh.

''Bogni'' I gargled, trying to pronounce his name but failing, my tongue stinging with pain. ''Boogniii…''

It was complete nonsense uttered by the panic in my chest. But it was all I could actually focus on, like a cat clings to a log in the river.

''If it's true what they say'' he muttered then, reloading his gun as he crouched behind a railing. ''I hope that saying doesn't just go for cats.''

I looked at him, understanding nothing of what he was saying and knowing that nothing good could ever come from that look in his eyes. Boris fired off his gun again, someone upstairs screaming in pain. I wasn't sure what happened next, but Boris decided to jump.

Air gushing past us, teeth of glass sinking into my skin I felt like a bullet myself where we flew out into nothing. By the time I had understood what Boris had done, I hoped that saying about cats was right. And if it wasn't, then I sure hoped falcons could really fly.

What followed then was pain. True and immense, jaw dropping, breath taking, heart throbbing pain. I was blinded for the fraction of a moment, numb and shocked motionless until it hit me all at once. A stinging in my skin, a fire in my wounds and explosions in my head. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't, and that seemed to make matters worse. Fighting to regain my breath, my tongue so swollen I had to breathe through my nose as gasping gave me nothing. I cringed, turning over on my side, hoping nothing was broken. Boris grabbed me again, and before I could swallow the shock we were on the move again.

Even with my weight he managed to run decently fast, steps hurried in that way of a hunted deer. Even though its powers were since long gone and the muscles were screaming with pain, it had to keep on running faster and faster, because if it stopped for even a moment, it would all be over.

I was dozing on and off, floating in and out of consciousness almost in a certain rhythm. One moment I heard guns firing, the other all was quiet. The next I heard Boris' pounding heart, then my own. The world came together as one theatre of vividly, if badly, put together scenes that after a while melted together completely, leaving me staring into nothing but an enigma of colours.

The Russian's gasping breathing, clawing frustratingly for air, rang worse than any gunshot in my ears. Something wet fell down on my face, and I didn't know first if it was his sweat or rain. It turned out to be both. Digging through his pocket Boris soon pulled out a worse-for-wear cell-phone, typing the number several times before getting it right. It didn't take long before the person on the other end answered, and Boris muttered something impossible to understand. I realized then that he was speaking in Russian, and only five sentences later he hung up.

I panted, my chest sinking and rising rabidly as my nasal paths were beginning to burn with the amount of air I forced into them. Blinking out some of the droplets from my eyes, I shivered. If I could've, I would've yelled at him. But I couldn't even hiss. So I settled for staring, glaring with accusation until he met my eyes.

''Don't give me that look.'' He muttered, sounding drained behind the anger.

I continued glaring, thinking that it would all feel just a little better if I had someone to blame. Someone to be angry with even though most of this was my fault. If I had kept to my own business that night… I could have helped Boris in any other way. I didn't have to _kick_ that guy in the head. If I had acted differently, would the situation have been any different? Was Boris the main reason it all went bad for associating with criminals in the first place oe was this entirely my fault?

I hissed in pain as he shifted my weight, still carrying me for some reason.

''Kon, for once in your damn life, take it like a man.''

He made some odd scrunched up face when he quickened his steps, like he had strained something. I moved my arms to keep myself upright, clinging to his shoulder as much as I could with the wound on my chest which any movement seemed to disturb. I hissed a little more. I guess that was just what a hit-and-run-victim must feel like.

He kept walking for a while, the cuts in his face flaring an angry red that contrasted greatly against his pale, almost colourless skin. His hair was wet and plastered against his face, making him look sort of ghost like, those piercing eyes tearing through the air. I panted heavily, fighting to keep myself awake, while our little trip continued onwards.

When the rain had gotten heavier, and my skin was basically curling in cold, my shivering went wilder. Exactly then, Boris seemed to find just what he had been looking for. I didn't even bother looking when he somehow, with me in a steady grip, kicked a window in. Glass shattered and as I waited for an alarm to set off, he climbed inside. It took me a minute or so of dry, warm air to realize that the alarm wasn't going to ring. We were alone, and in some morbid sense I guess one could consider us safe. Nothing but the sound of the rain outside, my shivering breath and Boris' heartbeat to keep us company.

He put me down on an ice-cold floor then, and instantly I bolted upright with a trembling body. I looked around hazily, taking in the sight of shelves and boring, grey-white walls. Lamps in the ceiling, concrete floor. Nothing I could place and yet it seemed very, very familiar. Like some sort of storage room, but I couldn't understand what kind. Boris gave me a stare I couldn't understand, looking me over before turning his eyes elsewhere.

He shrugged off his jacket with a concealed difficulty, throwing it in random direction to let it dry. Pacing around it didn't take long before he was out of sight, his footsteps the only sign that he was still in the building. I listened silently to him, leaning back against the wall as sombreness claimed me. I didn't want to close my eyes, afraid I would pass out if I did but my eyelids were so very, very heavy. I wanted to know what was going on and most of all, what was going to happen and maybe I was afraid that if I closed my eyes, Boris would be gone.

Just a second before I was ready to give in to my tiredness, Boris emerged in the room once again. He threw something large and soft at me, which landed right in my confused face. As I grabbed the odd thing, I felt the soft fabric of a blanket. As I held it questioningly in my hands, a little smile crept onto my lips. I was just about to wrap it around me when Boris knelt down, glaring threateningly. I raised my eyebrows in question, but he just narrowed his eyes.

''Sit still'' his words came out as an order, more than anything else.

And just like that he raised a cloth to my face, which immediately as it made contact with one of the cuts stung like a thousand electric shots. I jumped, staring at him in frustrated agony. He just grabbed my chin, firmly keeping my face in place and I knew that struggling would do nothing but wear me out.

So the stinging continued as he cleaned the wounds, and after a while I got used to it. In a macabre way it was almost soothing, the stinging like a lullaby of pain, calming my shaken nerves the longer he did it. Soon, perhaps a little too soon for my liking, he let go of me and picked up another clean cloth, drenching it in a strongly smelling liquid. And just like that, he tugged at my shirt.

''Whr ge hegg agru gooing, goo pegvetd baggag?!''

Translation; _What the hell are you doing, you perverted bastard!?_

''If you don't clean it you'll get an infection'' he stated a-matter-of-factly, dully looking at me like I was nothing but an unruly animal.

I glared, grabbing my shirt firmly with a look that told him to stay away if he wanted to keep his hands. Boris just snarled.

''I'm not exactly thrilled at the thought of seeing you shirtless. But if you die from some silly little scratch – ''

I growled.

''- it _is_ a scratch. And if we don't clean it this would all have been in vain. And then I'd really hate you.''

Glaring heatedly, I was having the mental battle of the year. The wound was deep and it certainly wasn't just a scratch, and I knew he had a point in the fact that I had to get I cleaned. But it didn't matter as much to me as the fact that I still didn't know just why he was even bothering in the first place. Okay, so he wasn't potentially an outright bastard and if it would have been Yuriy or Takao… or maybe not Takao, he would probably have killed him himself, but anyone else in my situation, I bet Boris wouldn't have watched them get gunned down for nothing. Of course, I'm probably the only one stupid enough to kick strangers in the head.

So I guess mostly this was my fault. But even though Boris wasn't one to watch people die without doing anything, (at least if he knew them) I still wouldn't picture him going through this much trouble. Okay, so he hadn't expected to see me at Garland's. Hell, even I didn't expect that. So I guessed he had to save me there. All of it did make sense in some crazy way. But the thing that didn't, was why he was still there. Instead of dropping me off at some hospital and going back to his headquarters, pretending like nothing happened, he was here with me.

Now I demanded a damn good explanation. Too bad I couldn't tell him with words.

''Fine, clean it yourself'' he muttered, throwing the cloth in my face.

I grabbed it angrily, glaring holes into his head as he turned his back to me, undoubtedly insulting me in Russian. I ignored him though, and pulled up my shirt which was heavy with water, sticking to my skin like a second layer. It was with great discomfort that I pulled it over my head. The wound stretched, and not painlessly. I let out a moan of discomfort, but too stubborn for my own good I brought the cloth towards it.

I gritted my teeth in an attempt to keep the hisses from slipping through, yet the feeling of just having been run over by a bulldozer and the constant blazing in my chest made it a difficult task. Sweat formed upon my forehead, my heart beating tiredly as I dreaded how long this would take. Taking a deep breath, I readied myself for the second swipe.

''Oh, for fucks sake'' Boris snarled impatiently, spinning around and swiping the cloth in one movement, and before I could protest he begun cleaning the wound himself.

''If you _ever_ mention this to anyone, I'll rip off your head and shove it so far up your ass you'll be able to peek through your throat.''

His warning had been meant to be serious, that I could tell by the hate in his voice. Yet I couldn't help the little snort of amusement that escaped my throat, something sardonic and sad about the humour of the moment. He snarled, pressing extra hard against the wound in retaliation. I flinched at the wave of pain that hit me, my eyes now forming slits of annoyance.

''You brought it on yourself'' he muttered, pouring some more of the liquid onto the cloth. ''Shit, they messed you up good.''

I made no sound whatsoever, just watched him as his brutal, clumsy movements formed some odd pattern. After the fourth swipe he had to hold me down by the shoulder to keep me from flinching too much, not a trace of gentleness as he finished taking care of the wound. He watched it in evaluation, his hand like burning hot coal against my damp skin, my body shivering in the cold and yet I felt strangely warm. He muttered before he bent down to rummage through the stuff he had brought along with the blanket, finding what he was looking for in mere seconds.

My stomach made a nauseating flip as I saw the needle in his hand. What made the situation worse was the smirk on his face and that sadistic look in his eyes I recognized from the past. The bastard was enjoying it.

When he had threaded the nail and drowned it in disinfectant, his hand was back on my shoulder to keep me firmly locked in place. Without a warning the needle penetrated my skin, a loud scream-yelp-like sound escaping my lips. He wasn't the least gentle, and he wasn't very careful, but at least he was fast. The needle felt like a bullet every time he forced it into the skin, in and out in fast movements and when he was finally done and had closed the wound, I was dizzy with pain.

I panted heavily, half-heartedly glaring at him as the silence was driving me insane. The least he could do was talk or something. I didn't even bother worrying over the fact that I wanted to hear his voice. As long as I got a distraction of sorts. Meeting my glare his grin broadened, a callous grimace that seemed to contradict the action itself. Especially when he, the next moment, threw the blanket at me. I kept my eyes on him in suspicion the whole time, stiffly draping the fabric around me and burying my body into it like a larva in a warm cuccoon. Boris just snorted, threading the needle again. I was just about to make a shocked sound when he pulled up the leg of my pants, revealing the bullet wound from earlier.

He had to be fucking kidding me.

I was just about to protest against yet another moment of torture when he shoved a bottle into my mouth, strong, mint-tasting liquid immediately filling it. I didn't know whether to spit it out or swallow it, both seemed like highly bad options. He took the bottle away, watching me in twisted amusement as he waited for my reaction. I was torn between spitting it in his face and probably getting killed on the spot, or swallowing it and taking the risk of being poisoned.

''It's just Listerine, idiot''

Somehow I doubted him.

''What's the matter, scaredy cat?''

I glared, but flushed it around my mouth anyway, the strong mint seeming to corrode my taste-buds, and as expected bringing unfair pain to the cuts in my tongue. I spat it out on the floor, wiping my mouth tiredly. Boris gave me a bloodthirsty grin, and when I least expected it, an enormous pain erupted in my leg. The sneaky bastard had just waited to get my guard down, and just like that the nasty disinfectant was eating its way through my wound. Getting an infection wasn't looking too bad compared to the pain.

But my anger soon subsided, as something very scary entered the blue eyes of the Russian. It was something akin to the look a mastermind gets after his most well planned master scheme has been foiled. Or how the creators of Titanic must have looked when they found out that their unsinkable ship had sunk. Whatever it was, it was making my skin crawl.

But Boris pretended like nothing, cleaning it up but not bothering to stitch it together. I wanted to ask why, but decided my gurgling probably wouldn't make any sense anyway. Boris settled with just bandaging the wound up, drawing a hand through his hair as he muttered. A small sneeze left me, which earned me an accusing look. I blushed slightly as I sniffled, feeling oddly heavy headed.

''Take off your pants.''

Okay. So not ready for that one.

''Hrrgg?!''

''Take off your pants.''

I looked at him with wide eyes, shocked and confused as I unconsciously backed away from him. I couldn't back too far as I was leaning against a wall, but it got me at least some distance between us. Boris muttered something about my intelligence, before throwing another blanket at me.

''Don't get any funny ideas. If you want to get sick, fine by me. But I won't take care of you.''

I relaxed, understanding what he meant. And he did have a point. It wouldn't help me to catch a cold or anything, and my body needed all the energy it could get to heal my wounds. So draping the blanket around me, I was completely covered when I thereafter squirmed out of my pants and threw them in the same direction as my shirt.

Then I just sat there, looking at him. A little warmer, a little calmer, yet twice as afraid and angry as before. I sighed in exhaustion, shaking my head exasperatedly. Boris just gave me a thin glare, before reaching for a blanket himself. Which was when I noticed the large, dark crimson spot on his shoulder. The blood that I had felt coming from him, I had momentarily forgotten but now I remembered it clearly. Before he had the time to notice my stare, I reached out to grab a hold of his t-shirt.

Boris looked slightly surprised at first, but then his eyes darkened and he was just about to hiss at me, when I ripped a piece of his clothing away. He looked down at the ruined fabric, which was revealing all of his shoulder as well as a vicious looking bullet wound. Reprimanding I shook my head, reaching for the disinfectant myself now.

Vengeance was mine.

''Don't _touch_ me, _Kon_''

Naturally I ignored him, pouring the liquid right onto the wound. He clenched his jaw in a flinch of pain, but other than that he showed no sign of it whatsoever. If I hadn't known, I wouldn't have guessed he was even wounded. Hell, I had been with him all night and not noticed he had been in pain. Shaking my head I picked up the cloth, repeating the procedure he had done himself just moments ago.

The wound wasn't looking as nasty once clean, but still the gaping hole wasn't looking all too cuddly. More like a gaping mouth that was laughing at me, the pink skin leering. I muttered, glad as I realized the bullet wasn't in there still, so I wouldn't have to start digging it out. But my stomach cringed violently at the thought of having to stitch him together. But Boris just pushed me away.

''I can handle it myself.''

I looked at him quietly, and he answered me with a defensive glare. I knew he could take care of himself. After all, he wouldn't be able to lead the life he did if he couldn't. He'd be dead long ago. And I guess that thought, for some reason scared me. I didn't know why, but that moment I really didn't care. It could have been the exhaustion or the shock, it could have been the pain but I was running on a one-track-mind right then, and I had only one thought in my head as I looked at the cuts the glass had given him.

I knew he could handle himself, I just wanted to do it for him.

To my surprise, when I grabbed the bottle of disinfectant and the cloth again, he didn't move. He didn't say anything, just glared at something invisible in the distance and kept still as I cleaned the smaller wounds for him. He never flinched, his breath never hitched, he didn't do anything but glare. My breathing on the other hand, was getting harder and heavier as it took the last energy I had to clean him up, and by the time I was done, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

Leaning against his healthy shoulder, I fell asleep.


	6. Scaredy Cat

Oops. It's been a while. This chapter didn't turn out the way I thought. Huh. Rei sleeps an awful lot. Oh, well, at least I'm not making him drunk... yet.

R&R.  


* * *

**Chapter Six  
Scaredy Cat**

It couldn't have been long before sleep abandoned me again. Or, more accurately described, it was stolen. And not too gently either, might I add. The shallow calm dissipated only for an ugly, ugly ceiling to show before my eyes. I grunted when the pain returned, no mercy granted me. Which sadly seemed to be a recurring experience as of late. Blue eyes gave me a glare that could have cut ice and crushed metal, dragging me up by my arm.

''Hgh!''

My pathetic and not very useful outcry fell on deaf ears as Boris merely grunted at me. At first I wondered why he was there and I almost panicked, before realization sunk in and I understood where I was. Then I panicked for real. Something was wrong, I could feel it. But my tongue was still swollen and angry, so conversation wouldn't be a likely option. Not that I really needed to. The Russian might have been the conversation hater we all knew and loved him for, but his words couldn't have spoken half as loud as the look in his eyes.

''Whu arg wi gonnng?''

If he understood me or not, I couldn't tell. He said nothing as he dragged me to my feet, pushing me further for every step I didn't take. I was too busy forming questions in my head to notice just where we were heading to, but soon I felt the chill of the night tarnish my skin. Without further instruction he pushed me out of the very same window we had entered through, and I guess somewhere in his master-plan of escape he didn't count on my leg to yield. Or maybe that was his goal all along and that grimace on his face wasn't as much of annoyance as it was of glee.

Genius or not, the wet ground punched me fiercely in the face as I fell helplessly, rocking my brain like a hurricane had just hit it. I groaned, the pain in my body growing. But before I had time to turn around and hiss at him, he'd already climbed out a lot more graciously than I had and dragged me up on my feet again. In a way it was a scary metaphor. A man far away from my favourite on earth, getting me off the ground more times than I could count. Huh.

Speaking of days, which one was it anyway? Where were we and how long had I been asleep? If one could call it that, anyway. One look at Boris and I knew he wasn't likely to answer any questions. Too bad for him I didn't care.

''Whu arg wi?''

''We're in the slum''

Really now? Yeah, I sort of noticed that when people tried to make confetti out of me with a scalpel. He didn't even give me a decent glare, just pushed us on through the dark. All the time he looked on edge, like the slightest wrong sound or movement from around would send him sprinting. Which was about the scariest thought that had ever occurred to me. Boris, running. Absurd.

''Whugg?''

I tried my _'where are we going?'_-question again, hoping he would understand at least my eyes if not my complete spewing of nonsense. Sure enough he did, answering me in the only way he could.

With a glare.

I decided to give up. My tongue wasn't cooperating anyway. And he wasn't exactly coming up with useful answers. The questioning would have to wait until I could speak properly.

We were walking around for what felt like years. My leg was throbbing and sizzling with the most vengeance I'd ever had cast upon me. Something felt wrong, and it wasn't the criminal who seemed more reluctant to be close to me than before, or the wounds that marked my skin. It wasn't that I was on the run from two gangs of psychos and it wasn't even the fact that Garland had abandoned the Sanity Ship.

No, it was something I couldn't quite place. Like the spinning way of the world and how my breath felt heavier than stones as I tried to breathe the fresh air. I had great lung capacity from all my years of exercising, yet I bet an asthmatic chain-smoker could've beaten me at a hold-your-breath-contest. My body was numb in an awkward way, currents of warmth and cold placing sweaty pearls on my skin. I blinked, knowing I couldn't go much further.

''What _now_?'' he barked as I put my hands on my legs to steady myself.

Now it was my turn to glare. Lungs contracted in pain, my chest oddly rigid, I probably wouldn't have been able to come up with a plausible answer if my mouth had been working.

It was probably just the strain, the stress, the fear. Let's face it, I'd gone through one hell of a roller-coaster of events in just a couple of days. It was only natural for my body to shut down, wasn't it? For some reason, a nasty feeling in my gut told me that was just a stupid lie.

Boris growled and muttered curses, shaking his head as if he reconsidered his decision to save me. When he looked at me, he seemed to see something I myself could not. And knowing that Boris knew something I didn't, something undoubtedly important, freaked me out.

''Bogni… whra..?''

''Shut up.''

I didn't argue. Couldn't find the strength even if I wouldn't have lacked the will. In a movement that spoke nothing of his own injury, he swooped down like a bird of prey and without any grace or care, threw me on his back. I gasped as he gripped my legs hard enough to make my skin whiten, cutting of the blood flow I desperately needed. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't nice, it hurt like hell and it was beyond awkward. I was piggy-back riding Boris Kuznetsov.

If there is a God, he's damn good at hiding.

Without another word he began walking. Walking and walking, steps wide and fast, his shoulders digging uncomfortably into my chest. My headache increased and breathing wasn't exactly easier. In fact, I think it just got harder. But I said nothing, and so our journey continued. Through the cold night we went past building after building. Warehouse after warehouse, all the while paranoia gnawing at our minds.

His back never relaxed, I guess partially because of the strain on his muscles when he had to carry me – yeah, let's pretend I never said that – but also because he never dropped his guard. I hadn't noticed it at first, but my ears were constantly listening for anything out of place. Through the fabric of his jacket, Boris felt strangely warm and I guess I'd be lying if I said I didn't doze off a few times. If I lived to see my friends again, I would never speak of this incident out loud. But right now I can admit, I didn't mind it that much.

Then he had to ruin it all by opening his big, stupid mouth.

''You're getting fat.''

I barely resisted the urge to bite him in the ear.

Left in an awkward silence, save for my ringing ears and my stupid heartbeat, I caught myself wondering what we were going to do next. What would happen to me, but most of all, and the weirdest of all, what would happen to him. From the looks of it, it was safe to say Boris didn't have anyone. All his allies were probably thinking he had betrayed them and were out for his head. And if they by some miracle thought he was still an ally there was another group of madmen out for blood. Something inside of me sank, leaving me cold and strangely hollow. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but instead it seemed to grow.

He continued walking, silence swallowing us. I couldn't feel my arms or legs anymore, the pain so frequent it felt like it had grown a part of me. Yet nothing really mattered. I felt numb, isolated, alienated. Lonely. Which almost made me laugh because it was all so ironic. The reason I was even in this mess was because I had been lonely. And now, dying with no one but a cat as company felt way better than this.

But my thoughts dissolved into thin air when a wave of nausea pushed through me. My insides squirming and moving like they were going to jump out of my mouth. I must have flinched or tightened my grip around his shoulders because I could feel his glance through the pain. My breath came quick but short now, quick like a rabbit's feet on the run and the ringing in me ears only rose. I had never in my life felt such unbearable warmth, rising from my skin like fire. But the worst fire of all was that in my leg, which burned and throbbed in such pain I couldn't think.

I could hear him talking, but I couldn't make out the words. I think some of it were swearwords and curses, but more than that I couldn't hear. Breathing became the hardest thing I had ever done, and I sensed that somehow, Boris knew what was going on. I could feel him running, the pain growing for every shake his body gave as his feet touched ground. I was zoning in and out like a radio with bad reception, losing all sense of time and reality.

Soon it was only the pain, and the heat. Growing and growing and growing, suddenly the world felt enormously small.

''Kon? Kon?''

Something broke through the noise in my head. The sound of a thousand pots and kettles crashing to the floor in a big, empty room would have been sweet music compared to the symphony of pain playing in my head. I blinked, immediately regretting it as sharp light cut into my eyes. I groaned.

''Earth to Kon!''

I tried to open my eyes which stung from tears I hadn't noticed shedding. I furiously tried to hold them back, refusing to cry because I knew he would be there to see me. And under no circumstances would I ever, in my entire life, let him see me weep. I groaned again, hoping it would make it better. Somehow ease my pain or make me feel like I wasn't just sat on by a sumo wrestler.

A slap brought me fully back to awareness, and I had to blink a little in confusion before I realized what happened. Then he slapped me again.

''Heygh!'' I gurgled, glaring thinly at him.

Boris muttered.

''Shut up. Don't speak, don't move, don't be you.''

I glared hazily, feeling something cold behind my back I realized I was leaning against a wall. The air smelt fresh and wet, which meant we were still outside. After a moment I understood that the sharp light in my eyes had simply been a dim streetlamp. Boris was crouching in front of me, looking like he could eat me alive.

''I think you have an infection.''

Just like that. No sugarcoating, no smiling. Just the plain and simple truth. I was starting to seriously hate the truth. Boris looked at me, unyielding for anything and if it hadn't been for my stubbornness, I would have tried desperately to look away. He bit slightly on the corner of his lower lip, an unconscious action I guess as he didn't seem to notice doing it.

''If we don't do something about that things will get bad.'' He muttered, knowing I wouldn't bother even trying to answer him. ''The hospital will call the police so we can't… fuck…''

Questions rose in my head again, but my murdering headache shot them down like pigeons in the sky. I didn't understand why he was getting so frustrated, or why we couldn't go to the hospital. In fact, I was still trying to melt the whole infection-thing.

''Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..!''

He slammed his fist into the wall next to me, and I jumped in slight shock. Staring wide eyed and reprimanding at him, he refused to meet my eyes. I wanted to growl, but instead I got an idea.

''Gai!''

He looked at me like I was the idiot of the year, just to receive my award.

''Gai?''

''Gai! Wi gag go goo Gai!''

''_Kai_?''

I nodded fervently, drilling my stare into him. Yes, yes, the stupid block of muscle understood! Kai was the solution. If we just went to Kai, he could call someone. A private doctor, or maybe the police. Anything we needed, Kai would fix it. Why was Boris looking so reluctant?

''We're not going to Kai.''

His eyes darkened as he practically spat out the name. I had a hard time understanding at first but when I did, I just glared the darkest I could. Just because Boris was jealous that Kai stole his place in the spotlight every damn tournament, didn't mean I was going to let him ruin my chance to live. He could dislike Kai all he wanted. I was going to get treatment.

''_Gai!_''

''No.''

''Whgugh!''

''Say whatever you want, we're not calling Kai.''

I just stared at him. Horrified and enraged at the same time. Was he just going to let me die? In that case I could just crawl over to Kai myself. Which could be a problem since I couldn't move properly and I didn't know where we were and… yeah. I needed a plan.

Boris had started muttering to himself again. Swearing more times than I thought possible in one sentence, he finally glared at me like I was the root to all his problems. Which I was. But that's beside the point.

''I should just leave you here.''

My glare couldn't grow much darker.

''It's your fault, all of this. I don't know _what _I was thinking to save _you_, but I couldn't have thought much!''

He stood up straighter now, which alarmed me because I knew he could just walk out of there and leave. Unlike normal people, he had no conscience or heart. In the blink of an eye, Boris could leave me there to die. Which he probably wished he'd done from the beginning. I wondered why he hadn't, but trying to figure Boris out was the biggest challenge of all. Perhaps he'd just done it on a whim, perhaps not. Perhaps he was insane or just felt like it. I didn't have a clue, but I was certain he was going to decide now, once and for all, what to do with me.

''If you stay here to die I don't have you dragging me down. I can take care of myself, without you leaving fresh blood-trails behind. Yeah… that's a nice idea.''

I just got the more convinced by the look in his eyes. That hungry, predator glare which spoke of no warmth inside. His eyes were cold and dead and for a moment, I was truly afraid. But Boris' face took on the mask of anger, and before I knew it he began kicking at some poor old trashcan. Once he made sure it could no longer pass as a trashcan and was lying like a heap of metal on the ground, garbage everywhere, he pointed his murdering glare at me. I swear my skin tried to crawl off.

''Fuck you, Kon.''

And with that, he lifted me over his healthy shoulder, carrying me into the night. I understood nothing.

**X**

The hospital smelt funny, a mix of dread and loss with a tinge of antiseptics. I must have dozed off a few times because I had no memory of how we got there. I didn't know how far away from the hospital we had been or even the exact location of it, but I doubted Boris could have run the whole way there. Needless to say he didn't look happy on arrival, and he seemed even angrier when he saw how many people were already waiting for their turn.

But Boris wasn't one for standing in line, he was more the type of person that cut ahead. Still carrying me for some reason, he slammed his fist into the counter, scaring the poor nurse out of her wits. She looked in shock at him, a little bewildered at seeing his sweaty face.

''What… can I do for you?'' she stuttered when she finally got her tongue back, and I was glad she wasn't going to bitch about it. She probably didn't dare anyway.

''I'd like to buy some lollipops.''

She blinked.

''I'm sorry… what?''

''What the fuck do you think I want?! I'm at the damn emergency ward, ain't I?''

''Yes, well… but…''

''I want a damn doctor and I want one now!''

''Please, sir, if you'd just calm down…''

''Give me a fucking doctor!''

It was like watching a mother bicker with her much too unruly child. A child that would turn the room upside down if he didn't get what he wanted. Just why he got so worked up I didn't know, but I didn't count on him to have a rational explanation. Whatever it was, it seemed to scare the nurse to a point where she threatened to call security. Boris answered this by throwing her coffee cup to the floor, sending it shattering into tiny little pieces. People were staring at us by then, and I was starting to think this had been a bad idea.

''Sir, just calm down!''

He leaned closer over the counter, and I could see her glance nervously at me. At that point she was looking more than just mildly discomforted. I didn't blame her, having Boris that close to your face could do it to anyone.

''He's been shot. Now tell me nurse, what happens to a leg that is infected?''

She stuttered, staring blankly at a loss as for what to do. Boris didn't have to stare long before she called out in the speakers. Satisfied, Boris gave her a blood-grin before backing away. The relief in her eyes could not be measured.

He dumped me roughly on a bench, my body cringing in the hurt the impact brought. Sitting down beside me, Boris let out an irritated growl. I stole a glance at him, immediately pretending like nothing when he glared back. The heat, which I now suspected was actually a fever, only rose and my breathing came rabid and torn. I crawled into a little ball, the room somersaulting to a point where I felt vomit tickle my throat.

We didn't have to wait too long though, before a white coat appeared in front of us. I didn't even bother to look up, but I could bet my boxers Boris was already glaring the doctor to death.

''You are the gunshot victim?'' the man spoke in a raspy, overused voice, ringing strangely in my head.

''No, idiot, he is'' Boris snarled, but the doctor didn't sound convinced.

''Then sir, why are you bleeding?''

''You're the doctor, figure it out.''

A sigh.

''I'm making a check up on you too. But I heard something about an infection. This gentleman here..?''

I looked up through watering eyes, swallowing down the bile as I met professional, analyzing eyes. The older man tried a small smile, but I just dove back into my little ball when a certain rush of stomach contents tried to break free.

''Very well. If you follow me, the nurse will bring you'' this part sounded like it was directed at Boris. ''the papers to fill in.''

The Russian didn't sound happy when he snarled.

''Paper works?''

''Gunshot wounds are a serious matter.''

Something cold gripped my stomach. I knew this wasn't going to go quietly and smoothly. Gunshots meant the police, and the police for some reason agitated Boris. I on the other hand, felt relieved. Finally the men in uniforms would show up and I could forget all about this mess. But Boris seemed more than just reluctant. Maybe it was his criminal record, maybe they knew who he was and were looking for him. I didn't know, but I didn't care. I just wanted to go home.

''Come along with me, young man'' the doctor spoke, helping me to stand up.

I failed, the immense pain shooting through my leg sending me to my knees. I held a tight grip on his coat, not wanting to let go for all I was worth. But my strength was faltering, had been doing so for quite some time, but I just didn't want to be alone. I was afraid, scared shitless and going away from Boris... For some reason it felt like if I left that room… he wouldn't be there when I came back.

''Hee gom wig…'' I gasped. ''me''

The doctor frowned in question, before he glanced at Boris in dislike.

''I'm not quite understanding…''

''He – ig – gomig – wig – me''

The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in exhaustion. He obviously had no clue as to what I was trying to tell him, yet Boris seemed to understand. Muttering Russian curses he yanked me up by the collar again, steadying me against his shoulder as he glared at me.

''Speak to anyone of this and I _will_ hurt you.''

**X**

For a moment there I considered taking him up on his offer. The doctor wasn't the nicest of men but at least he was gentle, speaking only when he needed a question answered and being careful as not to hurt me more than I already was. He didn't make the most disgusted of faces when he saw my leg, which I guess is a good thing. But after scraping and poking around for a while, he turned up with my life long nemesis; Mr. Needle.

Here was when the finesse ended. The needle entered my skin and I immediately flinched. The doctor just glared at me, and I knew, when he put the needle down and changed gloves, I was in for a mouthful. Sure enough, it didn't take long before he started barking at me. I couldn't hear half of it, but I knew he was mad enough to slap me if he'd been allowed to. But the part I did hear, was when he yelled at me for not coming to the hospital earlier.

After all, gunshot wounds are serious business and I was lucky it was only a superficial wound. If I hadn't come in earlier I probably would have lost my leg. By the end of his yelling I was too shocked to speak. Never mind that I couldn't, but all words were knocked out of me. When he started cleaning the wound and examining it closer, I made no movement at all.

Finally he had fixed it up pretty good. When he tended to my other wound, he went ballistic again. Muttering and cursing now, he almost reminded me of Boris. Luckily my other wound wasn't very serious and hadn't suffered an infection, but he still said something about antibiotics. I wasn't really paying attention when he stuffed my mouth full of antiseptic.

Finally done he turned to Boris, pointing at the bunk I was seated on, with a look that only a parent could have.

''You too. I know you're wounded and if you think – ''

Growl.

''I'm fine.''

''You're bleeding.''

More growling. The doctor glared.

''Do you want me to amputate that arm?''

Boris scoffed, glaring back just as intense, refusing to let the doctor go near him. I was relieved to be at the hospital, for the first time in forever feeling like I was safe. But Boris, he seemed more than just reluctant. And it wasn't just regular stubbornness, he was actually looking hostile. I gave him a curious look, which he blatantly ignored.And so a fight formed and escalated, and it wasn't until half of the room was trashed that the doctor gave up. When the whole thing was finally done, I was a prescription and a crutch richer, while my Russian partner in crime was in a worse mood than ever.

He seemed too impatient to get us out of there, despite the fact that the doctor didn't feel to keen on the thought of letting us go. He told us several times it was best to just stay at the hospital for a few days, in fact pushing us into a room, just to have Boris drag us out of there again. I think it took about half an hour before the doctor won, pushing me into the bed and ordering a nurse to set me up with an IV. Boris was bellowing, ostentatious and mad. He raged around with furious steps, like locked up in a cage.

I wanted to ask what was wrong, but I knew it wouldn't work. I just hoped the swelling would go down soon so my mouth could be of some use. Man, I missed solid food.

Boris refused to lie down, refused to do anything but pace and pace until he had driven me half insane. Every few minutes he would stare out the window, hiding behind the blinders. It was making me nervous, as it gave me the feeling that we should be on constant guard. Was he looking for Garland and his men? How would they even be able to know where we were? It was beyond me, and the feeling that Boris knew something I didn't only grew.

Frustrated, as soon as a nurse came into the room with a stack of papers in her arms, I snatched her pencil before she could even react. She gave me a surprised look, but smiled slightly in bewilderement.

''These are for you.'' Was all she said, before she placed the papers on the foot side of my bed and left.

I stretched for a paper, which was about the most painful thing I'd ever done, and began writing. As soon as I was done, I cleared my throat to gain the attention of the Russian. He glanced hatefully at me for a moment, then went back to ignoring me. I muttered, crumpling the paper into a ball before I threw it at his head. It hit him, which he wasn't too happy about, and satisfaction claimed me. But it only lasted for a moment, as Boris ignored it all and continued staring.

Now this was irritating me and I did not like it. I cleared my throat again, but to no avail. For being so easily aggravated, he was very good at ignoring you when he wanted to. I don't know for how long I sat making odd sounds, before he finally turned to growl at me in irritation.

''_What?!_''

I simply nodded towards the floor. He looked confused for a second, before his eyes drifted down towards the paper. Suspiciously eyeing it, then suspiciously eyeing me, he bent down and picked it up. He spent another couple of seconds to glare at it before he unfolded it, reading my little message. Meanwhile I waited in suspense, hoping the answer would be good.

But he just crumpled it up and threw it back at me.

''Hrggh!'' I protested when he turned back to the window again.

Once more, ignoring me.

''Hrrh! Bogni!''

It was no use. He was set on staring for whoever he was expecting to see running down the street. And as the minutes crawled by he never moved a muscle. If I hadn't known better I'd say he was dead.

After a while though, I got bored. Now, I knew the papers the nurse had given me were probably very important. But I couldn't care too much about that as I was determined to get Boris to talk to me. So I wrote the same message down, crumpled the note and threw it at him again. The little ball of paper only bounced against his head and landed in some faraway corner, where it lay forgotten. Yet again my plan was foiled.

So I repeated the procedure again. Then again. And again. Again and again and again until there were only three papers left, and Boris finally snapped. Turning around with blazing eyes, his fists were trembling so furiously it made me back a little where I sat.

''_Stop_ doing that!''

It wasn't an order as much as a roar. A roar that most certainly would be ringing in my ears for days to come. He kept glaring at me, and it was kind of scary that I was getting used to it. Was that a bad thing? Whatever it was, finally Boris sighed and crossed his arms as a final act of defiance.

''It's none of your business.''

I glared, not able to accept that as an answer. The question on the paper had read '_What are you afraid of?'_, and now in hindsight I guess it was a stupid choice of words. Even if Boris would have considered telling me, insinuating he was afraid of anything was like popping the balloon before it had a chance to land. I sighed, leaning back against the pillow. Perhaps it was wisest if I tried to get some sleep.

Sure enough, it didn't take long before the painkillers and the antibiotics did their thing, blending with the exhaustion before I gave in to sleep.

**X**

When I woke up it had turned into day, and for a moment I wasn't quite aware of my surroundings. When the fog of sleep cleared though, I recognized the white colour that only hospitals were tacky enough to have. I didn't feel like moving just yet, so I spent a few minutes counting the cracks in the ceiling. My headache hadn't disappeared, and it was accompanied by the hunger pangs in my stomach.

But my tongue felt a little smaller, which I guess was a good thing. I was thankful it was a muscle, I didn't even dare think of how I'd survive being unable to speak for months. I just hoped my other wounds would heal fast as well. Yawning a little, I rubbed some sleep-dust out of my eyes before I moved to sit up. This was met by wild oppositions from my body, which clearly didn't like being moved whatsoever.

Pulling the covers over me a little more, I dared a look around the room. Saying that I was surprised to see Boris in it would be the understatement of the year. Saying I was surprised to find him by the window, surprised me even more. During some time when I was asleep he had found himself a chair, sitting on it so that he wouldn't have to stand during his watch. I guess playing guard dog was a little tiring, as he had fallen asleep. His head to the side, leaning against his healthy shoulder which was flung over the backrest of the chair, snores escaping his mouth and that irritated scowl upon his face.

I couldn't help it. I had to smile. Oh, if only I'd had a camera. I could make him pay for the rest of his life. However long that would be...

I swallowed down the depressing thoughts, and instead just focused on the moment. It was the first, calm, peaceful moment in days. In which I was in a warm, if yet hard, bed and the walls didn't smell of rotten wood. How long until Garland caught our scent? How long until they got to us? The hospital couldn't be as safe as it felt, I mean, logically, where would you look for a wounded person on the run?

I sighed. It was best not to think about it before breakfast.

Boris stirred a little where he slept, letting out a small, annoyed sigh. I couldn't keep my eyes from drifting to him, the man was like a damn magnet. I couldn't tell what was so fascinating about him either. The past days things had just felt different. Like they were changing. I'd never been too fond of him, especially not since our match. But I never really hated him, and spending so much time with him… I don't know. Things had changed. I just didn't know if it were for better or for worse.

During my musing he must have woken up, because next thing I knew ice-blue eyes were glaring at me. And not a little, either. I snapped out of my pondering, my heart taking a small leap at the look in his eyes. So much hostility in just one man. It was creepy.

''Seeing anything you like?''

I blinked. Pretending like nothing wasn't going to fool anyone. But I tried anyway.

''Oh, I forgot. You only speak in vowels.''

I glared. If only I could speak, I'd show him.

''Aw, did I hurt your feelings?''

Snorting I turned my head indignantly to the side. Forget everything I ever said. He was an asshole and I did not like him. As soon as this was all over with I was going to forget all about him. Or was I just stupid to think like that? What if it never was over? What if there was no solution to this? And if so, what would happen to him?

Not that I cared. It wasn't my life. I owed him nothing.

Oh, who was I kidding? I owed him my _life._ If we got out of this alive I was going to be in debt to him for as long as I lived. He knew that too. I could tell by the smirk on his face. Noticing I'd been looking at him again, I turned my head away as fast as I could. Damn him.

Maybe that was why he saved me in the first place. His revenge for my victory those years ago was to make me stand in debt to him, something he would take advantage of as much as he could. Damn him!

No. That was just insane. Boris was a selfish man. He'd never go to such length, risking his own hide just to mess with me. On the other hand, he was a psychopath, and no one ever knew with them…

The whole thing was giving me a headache. Lucky me I didn't have time to brood much longer about it. In the few seconds I'd been in La La Land Boris had moved over to the door, peeking through the doorway with more than just suspicion in his eyes. No, it was far more than that. He was alarmed.

This in turn made me worried. Something was wrong.

''Get ready''

That was all the confirmation I needed. Moving the fastest I could with an aching body, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and finally managed to get myself into sitting position. As carefully as I could I took off the IV, the little needle stinging as it left my arm. Not with as much finesse as I'd wanted, I tiptoed over to where he stood, trying to get a look of what was going on. Boris just pushed me back, grunting slightly as he did so.

''Bogni!''

''Shut up''

''Whaks wong?''

His answer was to put a hand over my mouth, backing closer to the wall. My heart was beating fast now, every sense I had telling me to run. Get out of there, fast. I could hear voices in the hall, along with the regular noises a hospital produced. Soon the beatings in my chest overpowered everything, drowning all other sound out. I was too damn close to him, and for more than a million reasons, that just felt wrong.

''Fuck'' he hissed and pulled back. ''It's the cops.''


	7. Break Me

I know it's short and... incoherent and it took me a while to cough it up. Uh. Don't hate me. Things will happen in next chapter.

* * *

**Chapter S****even  
Break Me**

Steps were coming closer and closer by the second. One wouldn't have to be a genius to figure out that the look on Boris' face was not a nice one. Whatever reason he had to run from the police, I bet it was a good one. But good didn't necessarily mean 'sane', and I for my part was sick of running. As I opened my mouth to speak, Boris just pressed his hand closer. My heart went haywire, heat rising from my cheeks. Whatever my body was doing, this was not the time to act crazy.

''Fuck'' escaped low and dark from his mouth, and just when I was about to struggle he swung me over his shoulder.

I must have made some odd sound, through the pain that suddenly rushed through me it was a bit difficult to tell. But judging by the way Boris glared at me, I understood it was better to follow him to crazyland and ask questions later. Hearing the voices of the doctor and the police officers outside, Boris quickly got into action. Hiding as well as he could behind the door, none of us breathed.

And then all hell broke loose.

The first one to enter the room was the oblivious doctor, who upon entrance got greeted with a hit to the head. Unconscious on the floor, the next one to enter was one of the officers. And he did not look happy.

''Tuller, come on! I need – '' but he didn't get further before he joined the doctor on the floor.

The second officer barely got over the threshold before he was run over by a wild Boris, who darted out of the room and sped off into the corridor like a speeding bullet. Seeing Boris run was still a sight I had yet to accommodate to. Flung up on his shoulder like a deer on the car was another thing I still didn't find pleasant.

''Fuck! Stop them! Stop those people! Security!''

I don't know who yelled that last part, but I know it got Boris to run faster. Through some halls, down some stairs, across some people. Several things getting tipped over in the process, by the time we had reached the main entrance everyone knew we were there. From the corner of my eye I could see security guards heading our way, but Boris must have been working out because he outran every last one of them. The smell of his sweat and my own adrenaline filled the air, and my heart was by now thumping so loudly I couldn't even hear Boris' raging steps.

What surprised me was how he never seemed to get tired. That same determined look in his eyes, stubbornly gritting his teeth as his steps only grew quicker. Soon we were lost in the distance, unable to find as we seemed to disappear into thin air. Boris rounded corner after corner, and in the distance I thought I could hear sirens. The fear pushed at the back of my throat, my body threatening to pass out but I refused to lose consciousness in a situation like this. When Boris stopped, _if_ he stopped, he sure had a lot of explaining to do.

The Russian panted heavily, finally starting to feel the exhaustion eating away at his muscles. He looked around, almost frantically, not too happy about being the prey this time. But he had no time to lose on brooding, and instead seemed to search his mind for something. An escape route, perhaps, or a refuge. Whatever it was, as the sirens came closer he sped off again.

Fear was growing in me, like a wild, raging fire that burnt all it touched. Searing through my mind I was starting to panic. I had no idea what to expect. Not knowing what was about to happen was perhaps one of the most frightening things that could happen during that moment. Running from the police, with a criminal carrying me through the city, I had no idea what to think anymore. Should I trust the man who saved my life, or the people chasing us in cars with crying blue lights?

We could trust no one. We could turn nowhere. We were completely alone with no one to watch our backs but each other. And that, more than anything, was what made my brain go numb. Still conscious, I was not fully aware of what was happening anymore. I didn't know when the sounds of the police died out in the distance, or when the buildings around me turned from decent to decadent. I had no idea when Boris stopped running, but suddenly he just had. It was like leaping from one reality to another, walking into an entirely different world.

Boris didn't put me down as he fiddled with the door of some place somewhere in the middle of nothing. Even though I was awake I had no idea of where we were, and even less did I know about how to get away from there. When Boris had opened the door, I didn't know if we entered a prison or a safe-house. Cold and darkness greeted me, and when the door closed with a loud slam a suffocating, damp smell corroded the air. Like the place hadn't been touched for a very long time. I secretly wondered if only Boris knew of its existence and if so, was that a bad thing?

He put me down on a cold and hard floor, much like the one in the warehouse where all of this madness had started. He crept around in the room for a while, during which I made no movement at all. I simply sat, staring, trying my hardest to breathe but my lungs had seemed to close themselves. Not even when Boris had seemed to find a light switch and the room was illuminated, showing every piece of emptiness there was, did I calm down. On the contrary, the fear and the panic only grew.

''Kon?''

I must have started hyperventilating, because Boris was kneeling in front of me now, looking at me oddly. Like I was a nuisance, and thinking that I couldn't calm down. What if he was about to leave me there? Lock me up? What on earth would I do? Should I try to escape? What if Garland found me? Found us? What would happen? Why couldn't the police get involved? Where were we? How long had I been gone? Was this even happening to me? It was too surreal. Even after all our escapades I couldn't swallow the insanity of my situation.

''Kon, you're panicking. Calm down.''

But Boris' voice couldn't bring me back to reality. It did little to no good and instead I was close to tears. I could see and hear nothing. I couldn't even feel him as he crouched in front of me, annoyance coursing through his features. My breathing came quick, sharp and painful like glass in my throat and the room itself started to spin. Then suddenly, he slapped me. The pain came small and sneaky at first, before blooming into full feathered agony. I glared at him, confused, disoriented and furious.

''Back to the real world now?''

I gasped, gulped for air when all I wanted to do was curl into a little ball and disappear. Instead I only saw him, his malicious face and cold and brutal eyes. This relentless man that had spelt nothing but trouble from the moment I met him. A sudden surge of hate swelled inside of me, and with the anger, the fear and the confusion, a frustration exploded that I had never experienced before in my life. I was alone and felt so utterly helpless.

''I hake you'' was all I managed to press through my swollen tongue and dry mouth.

But Boris heard. And he understood. One look was all he gave me, before he stood up. I didn't even miss him when he left the room.

**X**

I didn't know for how long we had stayed there. But after a while my tongue was back to normal again, and the pain in my wounds was less noticeable. Nothing had really happened though. All we had done was wait. Listened. Expected the door to be knocked down and for one of our many enemies to burst in. But nothing happened and the waiting was worse than I imagined any kind of torture to be. All Boris did was stumble in, reeking of alcohol before he disappeared again. Sometimes he'd return with something, more often than so I figured it to be some sort of drug. The drugs would come and go, and with it also money. I didn't know quite how he did it, but somehow Boris had found his last resort to keep us alive.

I refused to eat the food he bought, only changing into the clothes he once brought with him but other than that I just sat there. We never spoke. Once or twice he would yell at me, then disappear to reappear an hour later, reeking even worse than before. Oh god, how I missed showering. I guess the only thing that kept me from smelling the unbearable odour of my body was the fact that the alcohol on Boris' breath was even worse. I guess him smoking inside was a helpful factor as well.

Time stretched on and I was slowly starting to lose hope.

**X**

''They know who you are now. You have to stay with me or die.''

I didn't look at him as he spoke. It was the first time I had actually heard him speak in days. Instead I just sighed, tiredly, angrily. I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

''The latter isn't looking too bad at the moment.'' Was all I said.

Surprisingly enough, he didn't answer. He just took another sip from the bottle, and when I finally looked at him, he looked almost… sad. It was gone as soon as I blinked, and instead he looked like he always had. If yet a bit more worn and tired. But still the same Boris he had always been. But I guess there had to be more to him than that. After all, he'd wandered down into criminality without anyone noticing. What else could he be hiding under that scowling mask of his? I didn't know, and for the record I didn't want to know either.

''Still a mother's dream, aren't you?''

He grunted.

''I wouldn't know.''

**X**

One day he had surprisingly enough been sober. He'd stumbled into the room, or apartment, or whatever it was, around what I assumed to be midnight and sat down on the creaky, tattered old bed that was placed in a dirty corner. Then he'd just spent the next twenty minutes glaring at me, as if deep in thought. I had been gracefully ignoring him, but there was one question that I just couldn't get out of my mind.

''What do we do now?'' I said, and the silence that followed wasn't completely unexpected.

What was though, was his answer.

''Keep waiting.''

I didn't say anything at first, just looked at him as if all of it was some demented joke. But we both knew it wasn't, and the seriousness of the situation was nothing to be forgotten. I sighed, hiding my head in my hands.

''Do you even have a plan?''

''What's your point?''

He thought I wouldn't notice, but through the corner of my eyes I could see him glance at me. It was for the briefest of moments, but I caught it none the less. And I did not like the look in his eyes. I didn't know quite what it was, but I knew it was not made for him. If it wasn't glee, anger, hate or malice, then it was wrong.

''As long as we run they'll have a better chance of getting to us.''

''I know.''

I sighed.

''So why don't we..?''

Boris snarled, turning his eyes away to stare blankly ahead of himself. I didn't like the tremors of anger I could see running through his body, or the deep, throat-slitting growl in his voice as he spoke next. I knew that whatever words came spewing out of his mouth, they would be the final and unchangeable truth.

''Go to the police? You don't think that son of a bitch has someone working there?''

''But… you mean… like a mole? Boris, that's… Mobster level. That's god damn Cosa Nostra!''

He was trembling fiercer now, jaw taut in a way to keep the anger to break out of him fully. Biting back the monster that was no doubt stirring inside of him. Just like I had to bit back my own fear.

''Garland's no Godfather but just because he's not the biggest of the big, doesn't mean he doesn't have a few tricks up his sleeve.''

That lump in my throat just grew bigger. If there had been any hope to our situation, Life just put it out like pissing on a fire. I closed my hands into shaking fists, tensing up as the confusion filled me with its bitter poison. I swallowed.

Everyone hates lies but no one likes the truth. Right then I would have preferred the first.

''Then… we have no one.''

''Bin_go _kitten.''

''Don't joke like that.'' I snarled, not sure if I was sad or angry at the moment. Perhaps a little bit of both. ''This isn't… time for your stupid nicknames or your… stupidity! We can't go to the police, we can't contact any of our friends because Garland'll surely hurt them! We can't stay on the street and we can't… we're… trapped!''

They were words I had felt on the tip of my tongue for days, yet I'd been too afraid to speak them out loud. Their foul and poisonous taste had been corroding my mouth all the way through, yet speaking them gave me no sense of relief. In fact, admitting my disadvantage only made it worse. I felt locked up and chained, like a tiger in a cage that was a minute away from being put down.

And the worst part was that Boris didn't even make a face.

''Won't people notice you broke into their place?''

I tried to change the subject, but couldn't even fool myself as my heart sank further.

''It's a black market warehouse for meds. They're used to it by now.''

''Shouldn't they keep a tighter security in that case?''

''Business been bad''

I didn't want to know how he knew this. Least of all I wanted to know just how happy the illegal pharmacists would be when they realized what we'd done. I especially didn't want to think about how much money Boris' pissed away last time by stealing that disinfectant and god knew what else he could have laid his hands on. As if we weren't hated enough around there. All we seemed to do was get into deeper and deeper shit.

''I'm going for a drink. You want one?''

I simply shook my head.

**X**

When he came back he was drunk like a fish. I didn't mind, as I thought it was a perfect opportunity to get him to tell me things he otherwise would have kept to himself. All I had been able to do in the silence, was think of a way to get out of there. But when it came down to it, I wasn't sure I really wanted to. Or, I did, but could I just leave him there? The more I thought about things, the less sense did they make.

''Boris…''

He looked at me with hazy eyes, drunk like so many other nights.

''What?'' he slurred, stopping in his movements as he was cleaning something.

''How did you end up like this?''

A long moment of silence followed. A moment during which he held the object up to inspect it, his eyes darting between the object and me. Which was when I noticed just what it was, and the panic I had forgotten made itself known again. Ripping through me without mercy, destroying every rational thought inside.

''Boris what the hell?! Is that a gun?!''

He looked at me in indifference, eyeing the gun for a while before returning to his cleaning.

''Gotta keep yourself safe, kitten''

I just gaped, incredulous and furious as I eyed him and the weapon. I didn't know just quite how to react or what to say, but settled on being angry as my first choice.

''Are you insane?!''

He shot me a thin glare.

''How about a 'Thank you Boris for being so considerate of my sorry ass even though all I've done recently is whine, bitch and bleed'?''

I growled, balling my fist in anger.

''Whose fault is that?!''

''Well I didn't land your ass into this mess! You did! You just had to stick your nose where it didn't fucking belong and butt into my fucking life!''

''Maye if you hadn't associated with those people from the beginning your life would have been different!''

''What the hell do you know?!''

His roar echoed long before his words had silenced, and he looked at me now with eyes so full of hate something inside of me died. There had been something hidden in his voice, something so human that for a moment, my own anger subdued. But his face was still angry and callous, his heart still cold as he looked down at the gun again. The silence that followed was the most awkward in my entire life.

My throat dried up again, and for a moment I felt sad.

''What the hell happened to you, Boris?'' I whispered, too tired to argue anymore.

I hadn't expected an answer, but then he looked at me with that piercing look in his eyes.

''Life did.''

I swallowed.

''But… drugs? Gangs? Guns? I just don't… understand it.''

He sighed, putting the gun down as he leaned his head in his hands. He sat there on the bed, looking immersed in his own little world and for a moment I thought he would stand up and leave. But he just sat there in silence, and I couldn't help but feel something inside of me ache. I guess that could be the reason why I walked over to him. Perhaps it's just my caring nature, always getting me into more than I could handle. Or perhaps it was momentary insanity. Some things in life just can't be explained. Perhaps that was the thing with him, perhaps it was _always_ the thing with him. Whatever reason any of us had, I sat down next to him and nudged him in the shoulder.

''Hey'' I said, but he still refused to look at me. ''Don't worry. We'll get out of this.''

That was when he surprised me by turning around to look me right in the eyes. My jaw dropped slightly in shock, as there was something moving in them that I didn't really recognize. Somewhere behind that drunken fog was something ferocious, wild and untamed, and it scared me just as much as it intrigued me. And then, he leaned in and kissed me.

Harsh, cold and savagely. I didn't have time to react before he had pushed me down on my back, kissing me harder now. So hard it almost hurt.

Angry, strong hands roamed places they seemed to be longing for. Relentless of if it hurt or not, not a piece of gentleness in his movements, clothes were torn off, kisses were planted and everything just happened so fast. Like pulling the trigger of a gun. I don't know what went through our minds, at the time. But something in his kisses made me yearn for more. Something in the pain it brought made me forget the mental pain, and his hands were fast and clumsy yet I wanted them to never stop touching me. Maye it was just a way to relieve stress, or a way to punish ourselves.

Maybe he was too drunk and I was too confused but somehow we ended up together. A mingled mix of sweating bodies and frantic hearts that never stopped rushing. Kisses and moans and cries that were more than just lust. His aggression was taken out on me, and for every love bite I received was another bruise. But I didn't mind. He wanted to hurt me and I wanted to be hurt. Over and over and over until I could think of nothing else but how we defiled each other. And just for the briefest of moments, I wouldn't feel so alone.

Then I looked at him through sweat covered bangs, deep into cutting, blue eyes that would haunt me when I fell asleep. And he left me, rushed into his clothes and out of the room, leaving me flat on my back, naked and confused.

What first had been a once-in-a-life-time-mistake, ended up into a regularly occurring accident. He would leave, return drunk, and it would happen all over again, until we screamed ourselves to exhaustion. Then he would distance himself for days, before he stumbled through that door again. Drunk, the only warmth in his ice-blue eyes being the burning lust.

I wondered if it had been there before, if I'd been too blind to see it. Maybe it'd been there for a long, long time, because something in the way he would look at me told me that this wasn't something he just came up with. This wasn't some momentary idea that suddenly came to his mind.

But I never really figured out what it was, and then he'd just leave. Pretending it never happened. It was an evil circle, happening over and over again.  
What scared me the most was that I didn't want it to stop.

**X**

I had been staring at him for hours. He was silently sleeping the alcohol off next to me, the sweat since long dried and the heat lost somewhere in the cold of his eyes. He was tangled in a thin blanket, the only one there was and left was I shivering next to him. I had inched closer sometime during the night, attracted to the body heat as a source of warmth but I didn't dare do it again in case he woke up. So instead I lay looking, watching, studying.

I didn't know how much time had passed, or how much longer we would stay there. But I knew we couldn't hide in that crappy excuse for a room forever. I also knew we couldn't keep up our evil circle, because it would only lead to confusion. Something odd had been gnawing inside of me since the day it all started, yet I hadn't spent it much thought as things had unraveled, one chaos after another. But seeing how I was lying next to him now, I couldn't help but start thinking again. Wondering if there was something more to all of this.

I sighed. It sure didn't look bright as it was.

A shiver of cold ran through me, and bad idea or not, I did not feel like lying there, freezing to death. So finally I inched closer, so close to him now my skin was touching his, trying to hide somewhere between the breaths and the smell of his body. Trying to disappear just for a moment, pretending everything was fine and that I wasn't at all afraid and everything would turn out great in the end.

I don't know when I even started crying, but for the first time in forever I couldn't hold the tears back. It was a good thing he was asleep, as I assume he wouldn't take it too lightly that I cried all over his arm. All the time I prayed for him not to wake up. I don't know how long I lay there, sobbing as quietly as I could. It must have been another hour. It was hard to tell without a watch.

I couldn't take it. It was too much. The panic was coming back to me and all of a sudden the walls seemed to be closing in on me. The darkness swirled and danced almost mockingly and I was too scared to move. His breathing seemed so out of place as it was calm, natural, like nothing was wrong. Like we were two normal people in a normal apartment sleeping in late in the morning. But it wasn't.

Who knew when they would finally catch up with us? Because the Gods knew they would. What would happen then? Would they kill us? They hadn't exactly seemed friendly during our other encounters. What if the police found us? Would Boris be in jail? Or would Garland's insiders get to us instead? I couldn't breathe, I had to get out of there. Had to find something, a way out, a solution. Getting out of bed as quietly as a cat, I got dressed in a haze and everything after that was as if just a dream.

Rummaging through his clothes, I soon found the key to the door, the only thing between me and the outer world. But as I sat there, holding it, it weighed heavily in my hand. His breathing behind me like a knife stabbing my back. I couldn't just leave him there, could I? But I could always come back, with help. That wasn't a bad idea, was it? He stayed there, I ran for help and everything would turn out fine. But I didn't even now where I was. I didn't have a phone or a map and what if they found me? This could very well be my last chance. And if I screwed it up… I didn't even want to think of what would happen.

The air sticking in my throat like glue or concrete, I suddenly stopped thinking and just went for it. Leaving the room, opening the door and closing it behind me, I left Boris in the darkness. Hoping that I'd made the right decision.


	8. An Ounce Of Truth

What is this? An update?! Oh, my. Could it have to do with... summer break? Why, yes, I think it could. Not much to brag about but, eh.  
Read and review because you missed me.

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**Chapter ****Eight  
An Ounce of Truth**

The streets seemed endless. So endless and winding it was as if by looking at them you'd get lost. But I couldn't worry about that, I didn't have time to figure out where I was going or why. All I could focus on was the sheer panic beating behind my skull-bone. All I could sense was the sudden and unexplainable guilt that started to nest in my chest.

I had no idea what was really going on anymore. Or, maybe that's not entirely true. I _did _know I had been kidnapped by my former opponent and sort-of-enemy. I also knew that Garland had somehow gone stark raving mad and joined a gang. As if that wasn't bad enough, now he was after me and no matter where I went he'd find me. I was stuck in his trap and right that moment I was running from the only man who hadn't tried to kill me since this whole mess began.

So, I guess I did have some idea of what was going on, I just didn't have the faintest clue of what to do about it. And even though all of this was very crazy, it was reality, and as sad as it sounds there's only so long you can run from reality before it finds you. I couldn't ignore this, this was real. You spend your life thinking shit like this only happens in thrillers and action series on TV. You think that this is for the Tough Guy or the Sexy Girl to sort out. It's one of those things that can't happen to you.

This isn't normal for regular people. Sure, it could happen to some nobody on the news who was found dead after a gang war. Yeah, you could buy that. But this? This was insane. But the truth is, all you ever believed in? That's just bullshit. This can happen to you, this _will _happen to you if you don't watch out. It's not that impossible, really.

You just have to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Which, if you ask me, isn't all that hard.

And now when I'd turned into One-Of-Those-People I should've been able to figure something out. For crying out loud, I was a hero, I was famous. Some kids think I'm like superman. So what was my clever and thought-through decision? Well, as you've probably noticed by now, it was to run. So I ran like a horde of flesh-eating monsters were at my feet.

I could almost feel them nibbling at me, and with my pulse drowning all other noise as it beat in my ears, I ran even harder. Even if my muscles were cramping and I couldn't even breathe because my lungs just didn't keep up, even if my heart was beating so fast it'd show a straight line on a heart monitor, I didn't allow myself to stop.

I couldn't afford to stop. I didn't know where the hell I was or where on Earth I was going, I didn't know who was on my side and who was planning my brutal death. All I knew was that I had to get out of there before anyone noticed where I was. Silently, almost secretly, my mind whispered about a certain Russian. Wondering what was going to happen to him now, and if he'd be okay.

Eventually I was at a point where my brain sounded like my mother and I feared I was losing my mind. But I couldn't help but start second guessing myself, even if I swore not to do just that. But what if? What if Boris needed me? Yeah, I know, that's absurd. But everything else in my life seemed to be absurd so why not? What if I made a mistake by leaving him? And on another note; running away from the man – although insane – who saved me a billion times, could be considered not only rude, but also bitchy.

My ancestors must've been rolling in their graves. But on the other hand, if I didn't look out for myself and run I'd soon be rolling in mine.

Karma seemed to think that sounded like a pretty good idea, because suddenly I stopped right in my tracks. It's almost comical, and if I'd had just a tad worse balance I'd be flat on my face that moment. Panic awoke again to keep me company, my mind raging with the fervent thoughts and fears of my heart. In the middle of the street I was currently thinking to cross, silhouettes took form.

I could make out the shapes of five men, whom all of them looked very tall and very dangerous. I didn't know who they were but my survival instinct screamed at me to get the hell away from there. But just as in nightmares, my feet were glued to the asphalt and I just couldn't move. My whole body tensed up, and the only movement I'm left capable of is blinking.

Common sense tries to get a word in but finally the bellowing of my fear and adrenaline pumped blood gushing through my veins is enough to drown any other noise out. I couldn't hear or think a single thing. If this'd been a movie, this is where the fat guy in the couch pushes the pause button on me so he can go get a snack.

''Hey, guys'' one of them said, and immediately shattered my hopes of discovering a dormant invisibility-power. ''You lost, man?''

I couldn't force myself to answer them, even my tongue had gone on a strike. Sure, if life hated me, why shouldn't my body?

''Whassa' matta'?'' a really big guy drawled, looking me over with hard eyes. ''Cat got your tongue?''

''If you know just how many times I've heard that joke…''

It came so suddenly I didn't realize it was me who said it at first. The gang itself looked shocked as well, and a fear started churning coldly in my stomach. It felt a tad unlikely that they'd appreciated my tone.

''Don't be cocky, bitch!'' the biggest one growled like a rabid dog. ''Your momma let you out on these streets, huh?''

He pulled closer to my - for some reason still paralyzed - form, the smell of his putrid breath as strong as if he'd hit me. He let his eyes run over me with a scrutinizing, chilling glare that I could almost feel sweeping across my skin. And then, the bastard smiles. A really creepy smile that lets you know just how many teeth he's missing.

The pain of being slammed up a wall hit me, a feeling so familiar I wasn't even that surprised by it anymore. Still, it hurt badly from the sheer strength of him, and I couldn't help but wince as my eyes focused again. Five hungry wolves leering at me, I would have had a heart-attack if my heart hadn't jumped out of my throat.

''Get off me, you bastard!'' I snarled, which wasn't very smart since their glares only grew madder.

It seemed like just because my tongue started working again, my brain actively refused to.

But I kept staring defiantly at them, not wanting to show just how much pain was oozing into me that moment, hoping they couldn't smell my fear. But that mask was harder and harder to uphold as the one grabbing me leaned in to smell my hair. Calloused, dirty hands ran through some stray locks of my hair, which hadn't seen shampoo in days. I hadn't thought about it before, but now my mind started ticking like a bomb with the one question; were they Garland's men or just some delinquents out for a little twisted fun?

''Hey, pretty, you look a bit familiar, don't you?''

And as soon as I thought of the question I regretted it, not wanting to know the answer.

''Yeah'' one of them said ''He does look familiar. What's your name?''

This is the point where I should have kept my mouth shut. But the sick feeling welling up inside of me, knowing they weren't just looking at me in a way that made me feel naked, but also _touching_ me, simply made the tiger inside of me go wild.

''Fuck you!'' I spat out, not only the words but also a nice gob from the back of my throat.

I watched in bewilderment at what I'd just done as the saliva slowly ran down the man's face, along his crooked nose and into the stubble on his chin. What sickened me even more than the pure, burning hatred in his livid eyes was when he reached out his tongue and licked some of it up. My face must have scrunched up violently, since the corner of his mouth suddenly curved upwards.

If there's one person you never want to see a smile on, it's someone pulling out a knife at you. The moment I saw the glimmer of the thin blade coming out of his jacket, I started thrashing like mad. I didn't care that my head was close to cracking with a headache. It didn't matter that my wounds weren't entirely healed or that I was exhausted. Clear, naked panic took it's hold on me and it refused to let go. Apparently, he didn't want to either as he reinforced his grip and slammed me even harder into the bricks.

''You stay still you piece of shit! Don't you think I recognize you? That Garland's looking for you, ain't he?''

''How much can we get for him, chief?'' one in the back snickered, eyeing me with a carnivore's hunger.

The man holding me put the blade close enough for my skin to shiver under the cold steel, but leaving barely enough space so it wouldn't touch me quite yet. Playing with me like some toy, his grin widened.

''I don't know, how much was it you were worth?''

I just glared at him, not wanting to talk to him anymore but instead trying to figure out an escape plan. But it seemed like no matter how hard I kicked him, he didn't feel a thing. Or perhaps he did, but just enjoyed it. All I learned was that the wilder I threw myself around, the tighter his grip around my throat got, and the more I tried to squirm, the closer I could feel the coldness of his knife.

''A lot alive, a damn lot alive actually'' he leaned in to sniff my hair again, but just before he was able to draw that damn breath, I headbutted him, feeling the crack of his nose through the impact.

Which was stupid, I admit that. But I'd come to a point that was way beyond stupid, and no common sense in the world could ever make a difference.

''You fucking son of a bitch!'' he hissed through the blood and the pain and the anger.

I felt myself sliding to the ground as he'd retracted his hand to shield the source of pain by reflex, swearing and cursing in a way that'd make every mother feel ashamed. I looked up at him, slightly shocked and very furious, not until now feeling like my body could move again. But it wasn't until one of them pulled out a gun that I actually darted to my feet.

I was just so sick of being shot at.

Already panting, I tried to run away from the line of fire as quickly as my shaking legs could carry me. It turned out that wasn't very far, before a lonely shot cut through the air. It echoed long after the bullet had been freed, the sound of death my metal bouncing between the buildings. I'd stopped dead in my steps, but oddly enough only metaphorically. Blinking, I realized I was alive.

I didn't want to turn around. I really didn't. By turning around, I knew there were only two things I'd see. Two things I really wanted to avoid, if possible, for the rest of my life. The first one of them being the barrel of a gun ready to make up for it's bad shot and try again, this time with my face as target practice. Or it could be the second, and I wasn't really sure which was worse.

Turning around stiffly, every muscle hurting when used, I looked straight into the eyes of Possibility Two. And he was not looking happy to see me. Raging blue eyes promising something bad if he ever got a hold of me. Jaws taut and painfully clenched, and as the cherry on top a gun in his hand. I let my eyes wander to his feet, where not entirely unexpected someone very dead was sprawled out. But expected or not, I still couldn't really decide if I wanted to be shocked about this or not. What I did feel, on the other hand, was outrage.

''What the hell?!'' was all I managed to get out, but it seemed to be enough as Boris bared his teeth threateningly at me.

''What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Are you an idiot?!''

Before I could respond, the last men standing seemed to think this was an excellent opportunity to avenge their fallen comrade and reclaim their masculinity, as all of them drew out knives. My breath hitched in my throat, as I realized what a dangerous situation I'd landed us all in.

Boris just pointed his gun at them, smiling. It was the scariest smile I'd ever seen on a pair of lips. People could die here, someone already _had_. And the worst part of it was that it was always, even from the start, my fault. I'd landed these people into this mess. Maybe Boris' life hadn't been roses and kisses to begin with, but I certainly hadn't improved it. All of this seemed like a pretty skillful fuck-up coming from a guy who was said to always think before he leaped.

I'd never felt so stupid, so ashamed. There I was, having fucked up so badly there didn't seem to be any way of fixing it, and all I'd done was bleed and run. I hadn't thought about anyone but me, I hadn't even tried to figure out a way to help the man who much reluctantly helped me. Even though he had no reason to. When Boris Kuznetsov is more of a humanitarian than you are, something is definitely wrong.

''What are you waiting for? Weren't you gonna attack me?'' Boris says, his voice a challenge in itself and I could smell the testosterone coming from every one of them.

They stared at each other for a minute of stretched silence, before Boris throws the gun away and charges at them. It seems like a very idiotic think to do, but there he is, going berzerk at all of them. Not needing any advantages, not caring about disadvantages. Right that moment he must've either have thought he was invincible, or he hadn't thought anything at all.

I couldn't quite understand what was happening. The five of them were like a blurry mass of colours and shouts that just mixed together, like the dusty clouds they always draw on cartoon shows. But instead of stars and arms flying around, there were teeth and blood and painful yelps. I wondered if I should do something, but figured I'd already done enough.

It was all over in a few seconds anyway, as one man fell and three others limped away from him. From Boris, the menace of mankind. Looking at him standing there, I was for the first time reminded of the Boris I knew. The one who took joy and _pride_ in hurting people. The man whose eyes were either blazing with fury or cold, bone-chilling malicious glee. A drop of blood climbed down a lock of his hair, and he looked absolutely perfect.

In some grotesque, scary way this was how Boris was supposed to be. Maybe before the Abbey, before the end of his career and before the gangs and the violence, he was supposed to be someone else. A doctor maybe, or a social worker. Hell, he could even have become a kindergarten teacher. I didn't know, and I didn't care because it didn't matter. No matter who he could have been, this was who he had become. And it was the first time I thought about it that it really made sense.

Of course Boris being Boris he had to ruin every moment that wasn't life-threatening. Coming closer to me in a few, wide steps he'd managed to slap me and insult me in a matter of seconds. Feeling the sting of my burning cheek, I blinked stupidly at him. This crude awakening from my musings was startling, and it took a while for me to realize what he was yelling about.

''What the hell were you thinking?! Are you trying to get killed, is that it?!''

''I…'' but I couldn't get a word in, as Boris had set his mind on yelling me into the next year.

''Here I bust my damn ass off for you, and you ingrate son of a whore just run away! Do you know how long it took for me to find you? Do you realize what could have happened if I hadn't gotten here in time?!''

''Well, yes but…''

''They were working for Garland! You retard!''

''Hey, watch what you're saying now!''

I glared at him, suddenly my shocked subdued to leave room for irritation, and I was not enjoying the insults he was throwing at me like presents during Christmas.

''I could just kill you right now!''

''Oh, sure you'd like that you… you… you murderer!''

Boris let out this little insane laugh that you normally only hear from serial killers trying to convince a victim of why they have to die. He shook his head at me, but there wasn't an ounce of mirth in his eyes when hey leaned in to yell a little louder.

''I'm a murderer and you're a fucking idiot, so what?!''

I tried to push him away, feeling suddenly awkward about all of this.

''Just drop it, Boris!''

''No, _Kon_'' he panted, that serial-killer look on his face making my throat dry up as he pushed me.

Stumbling backwards, I leaned against a wall feeling I had reached my limit. I had gotten enough of this entire ordeal and I was taking it all out on him.

''God damn it, Boris!'' I yelled at him, sliding down into a sitting position. ''Why did you have to make everything so difficult?!''

''Me?!''

''Yes, you!''

He laughed again, looking even further from sane and sounding even closer to hysteria this time. I watched him warily as he strode around, kicking at stray objects, laughing. Again he came closer to me, the smile looking flat on his face, like some piece of dead skin you don't actually believe belongs there.

''You god damn idiot'' he said, drawing a forceful hand through his hair. ''I just can't believe you!''

He walked away from me again, searching the ground for something. It wasn't until he picked the gun up, dusting it off almost motherly, that I realized what he was looking for. He stood there, cleaning it until I'm sure he could see his own reflection in the metal, looking estranged from the earthly realm altogether.

There was a long moment of heavy silence when neither his maniacal laughter nor merciless wrath made itself known. Instead he just looked washed out, pale and colorless. Something in my stomach twisted into a knot, as this was probably the scariest I'd ever seen him. I'd never seen Boris look so lost before and I had no idea what to expect. Was he going to bite or not?

Suddenly he let out a strangled, hateful voice that made the skin on my back crawl.

''I did it for you.''

''What?''

''I did it for you, are you deaf?!'' his voice rose to a yell again, anger flushing his face with color, as his eyes seemed like they wanted to bring destruction upon everyone. ''I couldn't… I… Everything's just so fucking wrong!''

He slid down on his knees, watching the gun lifelessly for such a long time it scared me. I don't know what came over me, but I felt like all of this was for me to fix. Boris had done more than I ever thought him capable of, for _me _of all people. He'd saved a person he tried to kill some few years back, and how was I treating him? Little me, Saint Rei, the nice guy. I was treating him like utter crap.

''Boris'' I said with a low, tentative voice, hesistantly moving over to him. ''Boris, don't… I… I'm sorry.''

He didn't respond, just sat glaring at the ground like it had wronged him. With all the hatred he could muster, his body went rigid when I placed my hand on his shoulder. And it hurt to see my touch have such a negative impact on him. Not that I ever cared about what he thought of my touches before, but that moment it felt immensely important to me.

''Hey'' I said, looking at the gun in his hands as I got an idea. He glanced up at me, stubbornly but still curious as to what I was going to do next.

He didn't seem prepared for me to place my hands around his, cupping the gun in the process. Now he looked at me properly, eyes wide with frustration, asking if I was a total airhead. I just grimaced at him, as I wasn't really sure of that myself.

''My fingerprints are on this.'' I said, squeezing his hands. ''I'm not leaving you.''

Boris' glare hardened.

''Fuck off.''

I sighed, not able to keep myself from rolling my eyes. After looking at him with slight disappointment for a while, I nudged him to get some sort of attention. A question that had nagged at my mind finally fell into words on my tongue.

''Why did you save me?''

Boris' eyes went from wide to thin as he now became very intent on glaring a hole into the ground. At the same time I could feel his grip tightening around the gun, his frustration mutating into something a little bit more dangerous.

''Ever since our first match…'' he said, a bit reluctantly. ''I've watched you. I couldn't… stop. There was something so fucking fascinating that I…''

Then he silenced for what could have been a lifetime.

''Boris…''

''Shut up and leave me alone!''

He tried to push me away from him again, so out of his mind now I wasn't sure who he was more mad at. Me or himself for admitting something so personal? But I refused to be cut off, tightening my own grip to prove it, pushing him back a little.

''No, _you_ shut up and tell me what the fuck you're trying to say!''

So he pushed again.

''Piss off!''

And I pushed back.

''Make me!''

There we sat, two grown men, pushing and bickering like small children. Drenched in anger and confusion and sweat, this was quite a morbid game we were playing. A game I was tired of losing.

''Boris…'' I sighed, pulling my hands back, but as I did he caught them, surprising me enough to make me gasp.

''Don't do anything that stupid again'' he threatened, still not looking at me.

''Boris… are you embarrassed?''

''Shut up!''

''You _are!_''

As my eyes widened with delight at this discovery, he himself was not as pleasantly surprised as I was. Instead he glared at me with promises of death before he pushed me to the ground. A small pain crawled up my spine as I hit the asphalt, but I still couldn't snuff out the curiosity in me. When Boris got to his feet, naturally I followed him.

''Where are you going?''

''Away from you!''

Despite his snarling and obvious hostility, I caught up to him and put a hand on his arm. But as I spun him around he countered me by gripping my wrist, so hard it would probably leave a bruise later on. Judging by the look on his face he was not playing around at all.

''Do you have any idea of what you've done? Fuck, Rei, you could've…''

''Hah!''

He frowned, getting very annoyed.

''_What_?''

''You called me by my first name.''

He opened his mouth to say something, but instead just slapped me again.

''What the hell was that for?!'' I growled at him, giving him the fiercest glare I could.

''Are you done now?! I'm trying to be serious here and you're acting like a fucking…''

''Retard?''

''Just lay down and die, will you?!''

He turned to storm away from me again, but I caught him by his jacket and reeled him back in. But just like any big fish he wasn't too keen on being caught.

''Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Boris it's just…'' I sighed. ''I'm tired of being hunted. I want my normal life back, and I'm sorry... I just tried to find help.''

He was silent, looking sternly at me, his eyes grim as a rainy day. And that was all it took, one look from him and my old fears and desperation came falling back like boulders. Just as he made me feel secure and guarded, he could always make me feel like I had my life on the line. Which I had, but still.

''This has to stop. We can't hide forever.''

''No, we can't.''

Boris sighed, frowning at himself as he knew what had to be done. More importantly, he knew what had to be said.

''Go find Kai.''

''But what about..?''

''It doesn't matter. If anyone can help you out of this, it's him''

''But where will you go?''

I hadn't noticed that my hands still lingered on his hips, comfortably. Like his hips were especially designed for my hands, like some sort of matching set. I really got a bit abhorred at how I could think such thoughts in that situation, but maybe it was the only thing that kept me from going mad. And since Boris hadn't noticed where my hands were either, I let them stay there.

''I have to find my people. To see if they think I'm loyal or if the word has spread. But most importantly, I have to find Garland.''

I just looked at him. I had expected to gasp at him in anger or shock or perhaps even dread, but all I could manage was to feel empty, almost as if someone carved out my insides. I knew this was the only way, perhaps I'd known for a long time that this would happen. Deep down a part of me wanted to protest, but that part remained silent as I let go of him, letting out a deep breath. Not ready to let go, but knowing I had to eventually.

''I'm sorry I got you into this.'' I said again, and he grunted.

''You and me both then.''


	9. Paw Prints

**FORGIVENESS, PLEASE. **I had no idea it's been this long! I don't blame you if you've given up, but... I hope you're still out there. Aghfigfd.. SHAME ON ME. Uurh. At least I've found a way to motivate myself now! This story doesn't have much left anyway so hopefully I will finish it soon unless I lose my mojo again. Knock on wood.

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**Chapter Nine**  
**Paw Prints**

I was lucky to have the friends I did. I don't know how I would have gotten my nice apartment if Max hadn't ''known some people'', especially I don't know how I'd ever made it through the cold competitiveness of Beyblade if I hadn't known my friends would always be there at the end of the day. Right that moment, though, as I was running as fast as my aching body could handle, I was happy to have Kai.

Not only had he been a kind of best friend to me for years - one much unlike Rai, whom I was close to of course; he was like a brother to me - but he had been the light at the end of the dark tunnel so many times I would never be able to repay him. He could make me feel safe without growling like a lion; just standing brooding in a corner I knew I was fine and that it always worked out alright because, even if Kai never said much, when times were rough, he always seemed to have all the answers.

Which was what hurt, I guess. Running blind through the streets, looking for some kind of sign of life that wasn't out to kill me, I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I had to find Kai, but other than that, my mind was blank. This situation was nothing I'd ever handled before, and even if Kai was the one thing that kept me together at times, I was afraid that this time he wouldn't know what to do. And if Kai didn't know, then no one did.

But I guess, deep down, I knew that this was as much my thing to handle. I wasn't one to push my problems on other people and have them deal with it, I liked taking care of things myself. But at times I needed insight, a fresh opinion, a little help, just to make sure I was on the right track. At other times those things wouldn't really have mattered much. There would have been room for mistakes and nothing too devastating would come of it. Except, this time was different. This time, not only did my very own life hang in the balance, but Boris' did too.

I'd never felt so relieved as when I saw the bright coloured vehicle come my way. Flailing my arms like whips in the wind, I jumped and screamed like nothing else existed. That cab was everything I could see, it was all I knew and for that brief moment, I knew I had to get it to stop. If it passed me, god only knew when another would show up. I didn't even know where I was, for all I knew this cab could be stolen. But it didn't matter. The driver could rob and shoot me later, all I wanted was for them to see me.

''Gee, what happened to you?'' soon came the surly voice, a voice I barely registered as I threw myself into the cab as if a tidal wave was close behind me.

My heart was pounding so hard I swore I could hear my ribs crack. There was nothing in that moment, nothing but pure fear washing over me, to finally retreat again, leaving me empty, shaking but relieved.

''You goin' to da hospital or summin'?'' the driver squinted at me, probably I must have looked like an escaped mental patient. That or the bruises caught him off guard. ''You don't look too good, kid.''

I shook my head, then nodded, shook it again not sure of what answer I was trying to convey. I just leaned my head back, eyes closed, and laughed. Hand on my face I let all my fears and worry run out of me, the laugh loud and hysterical. The looks he was giving me got weirder, and it took all my efforts to quiet down. I looked at him through my fingers, feeling like river dancing on the roof of the car and collapsing in a heap at the same time. I was torn in so many emotional directions I had no idea what to make of myself. So I just sat still and reveled in that one peaceful moment of comfort. It was a false safety, but a welcomed one.

''No, no hospitals.''

He squinted at me.

''Ya sure?''

''Positive'' I nodded, still smiling like an idiot. ''Just... just take me to Sycamore Street 97.''

''Psh. Sycamore Street, huh? Whatchu' gon' do? Rob some houses?''

Looking at my reflection in the rear-view mirror; my disheveled hair, dirty clothes and overall unrefined, torn appearance, I guess I did look more like a home invader than anything else. Going to such a rich neighbourhood seemed like something criminal was going to happen. I just shook my head, the remnants of my laugh slipping out.

''No, just... just visiting a very good old friend.''

**X**

I must have fallen asleep sometime during the ride. I had no idea how far we were supposed to go, neither did I bother to ask. One moment I was grinning stupidly at nothing at all and the next I wake up when my head bangs into the window. Confused and disoriented I jolted upright, the sound of my skull against the glass reminding me too much of the gunshots, but I calmed down once I recognized the leather interior. Then I freaked out again because I thought that maybe somehow Garland had lured me into his car and was going to dump me in the harbor, but then the shabby driver turned to look at me over his backrest. He still didn't look all too convinced about my mental stability.

''So, heah we ah'. That'll be 200, if y'please.''

I frowned. How long had we been driving for, anyway? In any case, it didn't matter, since I had no money. Instead I put up an apologetic hand and headed out the door.

''Just a sec', I have to talk to someone.''

He kept giving me suspicious glares, and I didn't blame him. I probably wasn't looking like the kind of guy carrying around 200 on him, and I certainly looked like the kind of guy who'd just sprint and leave the fee unpaid. But I made sure to walk slowly and within his sight range. Kai's gates were just a few feet away and soon I was pressing the button on his intercom.

''Hiwatari residence, yes, how may I help you?''

It was obvious the maid was slightly abhorred by my appearance, so I tried to give her the least psychotic looking smile I could manage during the circumstances.

''Good day! My names is Rei Kon, may I speak to Kai, please?''

She gave me a wary glance.

''Please?'' I batted my long, dark lashes, trying to look vulnerable, like a homeless kitten instead of a homeless murderer. ''I just want to ask him something...''

The woman was not swayed easily, but after a few more seconds of sad eye staring and some impatient honking from the cab driver, she sighed. I guess she understood that I couldn't really hurt Kai through the intercom, unless she thought Asian people were psychic or something.

''I will get him for you. Hang on.''

As she disappeared and the screen went dark, I realized I'd been tapping my foot this entire time. The incessant honking didn't help calm me down and I was getting worried the driver was about to come and beat me soon. But my worry soon subsided as the screen came back to life and I felt the dread drain out of me once more.

''Oh, Kai,! Thank god!''

''Who is th - Rei?''

I managed a sheepish smile.

''Yeah, I know, not exactly formal wear here but..'' another honk disrupted me. Annoyed I glanced over my shoulder, before sending Kai a pleading look. ''Hey, can we talk about this later? Right now I really need to borrow 200.''

Kai's look was dark and dead, something ominous stirring in his face. I started fidgeting again, before my old Russian friend just sighed.

''Fine. I'll be down in a second.''

**X**

I had expected some sort of scolding, once I was let into the Hiwatari manor. What I hadn't expected though, was a slap in the face.

''Agh! Kai! What the fucking - '' I stroked the by now sore cheek, red and hot from all the abuse it had endured lately. ''What the fuck?''

But Kai just gave me a blank stare.

''What the fuck is going on?''

''I don't know! You slapped me! Why'd you do that? Seriously, do you know how much I've been slapped today?'' he kept his dead stare, which was really starting to disturb me. ''Too many times! It's starting to ring in my ears.''

Kai crossed his arms. Judging by the look in his eyes I'd say he was angry with me, but what I'd done wrong I couldn't quite figure out.

''Sit'' he nodded towards a large armchair.

''But - ''

''_Sit_''

I wisely shut my mouth and obeyed, not wanting to get on Kai's bad side at this time. Not that I ever really did, but I couldn't afford it at that moment. Grimly I frowned, inquiringly following him with my gaze. He kept glaring so I remained quiet, feeling my previous anxiety returning. As the drowning sensation of air escaping my lungs nibbled at me, the mood in the room turned very sullen very quickly.

''Mind explaining to me what's going on?'' his tone was flat, but sharp, and I worried I was going to get a scolding rather than help. ''You've been missing for days. Apparently there was a shooting at Max and Tyson's bar and some disturbing activity downtown.''

I frowned.

''How'd you - ''

''I have a TV that shows the news channels, you know.''

I promptly shut my mouth.

''Oh''

Kai nodded and sat down, massaging his forehead he looked tired. It was the first time in a long while I'd seen him let go of his professional, stoic appearance enough to let that slip through. A cold sensation clogged up my throat and suddenly my mouth was very dry. The previous tranquility I'd felt looked stupid, now when I remembered what was actually going on.

''Rei, what is going on?'' he locked his eyes to mine, and unable to move away - though I desperately wanted to - I felt my body sag with a sigh.

''It's... I... I messed up, Kai. Really bad, too. I just... I don't know where else to go. He needs your help.''

Kai arched a brow. Swallowing, I wondered how to explain myself, where to go from this point and onward. Having no real energy left, I decided that whatever Kai's reaction, I'd just have to handle it. So I told him, from the beginning, leaving out a few details - he didn't _have_ to know I'd gotten frisky with his childhood friend - and perhaps sugar coating a few. The hardest parts were the ones about Boris shooting people, but I knew if Kai were to help he had to be in the clear. I couldn't lie to him, he'd find out somehow and then it'd all been in vain.

As I finished, Kai sat in silence for a long moment. Warily I fidgeted, my eyes darting around the room as I couldn't make myself focus on one thing for too long, in fear of all the stress finally catching up with me. I was sore, every muscle in my body ached, I hadn't slept in so long my brain felt liquid. I just wanted to go home. Home to my wonderful, albeit small, creaky bed, my humming, lukewarm fridge and the obnoxious neighbours dancing Mambo at three in the morning. I wanted it all to be over, most of all I just wanted to be able to walk down the street without having to constantly look over my shoulder. But a small, dark part of me doubted that could ever happen.

As Kai let out a sigh I rested my face in my hands, feeling like the only thing really keeping me together was my skin. I wanted to cry, just let it all go and have the salty droplets take all my dread and fear and self-blaming hatred with it, I was far past pride at that moment. But no tears came, no words, no thoughts and no emotions. Only the hollowed out, ringing sensation of emptiness. Like a burnt down, abandoned house where my chest used to be.

''Damn it, that idiot...'' Kai muttered, shaking his head. Pursing his lips he rose out of the armchair and strode over to a desk. ''I knew he'd get himself into trouble someday...''

I glanced at Kai through my hands.

''What, you knew he was in trouble?''

Kai dialed a phone, shaking his head. ''No, not... this bad. To be honest, I haven't spoken to him in a long time. All I know is he got fired and that's it.''

''Not even Yuriy?''

Kai snorted.

''Especially not Yuriy, and I can see why.'' The dial tone echoed through the phone, putting it to his ear Kai turned his back to me.

''Why not?''

''Hn'' Kai shrugged. ''Too embarrassed, I guess. Yuriy was closer to him than I ever was.''

I had a hard time imagining Boris being embarrassed about such things. Saving me, yes, being caught in a tutu on a Sunday morning, sure, but this? It seemed just like the macho kind of stupid stunt the asshole would be proud of. A bit sullen, I realized I was actually feeling jealous.

While Kai spoke on the phone I tried to bat the nagging feeling away. I mean, what was there to be jealous of? It was ridiculous. in any case, it didn't matter, for if I didn't focus Boris would be too dead to ever have any funky business going on with his redheaded friend. My ability to sound like a hormonal teenager in such times still amazed me. Not the greatest of skills, but a skill nonetheless.

Hanging up he turned to me, arms crossed he looked like he was going to yell at me. Or send me to my room. A bit disturbed I glanced at him and awaited my punishment. But it never came. Instead Kai, of all things he could possibly have done that moment, picked up a box of cigars. By the time he had cut it and lit it, the thick, gun powder grey smoke climbing upwards, I had dropped, readjusted and dropped my jaw at least four times.

''You _smoke_?''

Kai snorted.

''Today I do. Honestly, Rei, I leave you out of my sight for a day...''

Shaking his head with a sigh, he somehow managed to conjure up a bottle of some expensive looking brandy. Waving it at me, his eyes looked almost morbidly amused. ''Brandy?''

**X**

I had stayed at Kai's mansion for days, and it had been a welcomed change of scenery. The first thing I had done was shower until Kai banged on the door, icily telling me to stop wasting his money. When I had finally gotten out of the shower, clean shaved and looking fresh, I had immediately fallen asleep in the guest room, and woke up only 16 hours later to find an old man poking at me. It had been a disurbing, and rather startling, experience and both of us screamed quite loudly. I because I was frightened by this strange pervert, he because I uppercutted him in the chin.

I felt very stupid to learn that it was not a pervert at all but simply Kai's personal doctor.  
Apparently my wounds were looking strained, but healing, albeit slowly. He prescribed me with some painkillers and disappeared, looking very vengeful. Kai had rolled his eyes at me and lead me into the kitchen where his personal chef - Really, what didn't the guy have? - had cooked us up a feast of a breakfast. I hadn't known just how hungry I was until I proceeded to inhale inhuman amounts of food.

It all seemed so welcoming and homely I forgot for a moment just why I was even there in the first place. I wanted to pretend like I was simply visiting a dear old friend and being treated like a prince as if it was a mundane, common occurrence but that stupid thing called conscience kept nagging at me to stop dicking around and face reality. I tried to tell my conscience that reality was ugly and I wanted nothing to do with it, but it would have none of that.  
I didn't have to jump into it myself, though. Kai and I had been talking about what his lawyers had said - they could perhaps make a good deal, just a few years, probation, something lawyery - and because he loved to flaunt his money, or something, he would pay for it. Kai was saying big, important sounding words as I was nibbling away at some fish while waiting for my tea to cool, glancing idly at the TV while zapping around randomly. When I came about the news channel I almost choked.

Kai gave me a strange look as I was busy coughing fish out of my lungs, hitting my chest I turned up the volume to hear the anchor better. What had caught my attention in the first place now caught Kai's, who was looking unpleasantly surprised.  
There was a live feed to the right of the anchor showing pictures of a car chase, as they zoomed in I noticed a very familiar head doing unsettlingly violent things to another car in the lane. There were many of them, mostly police cars but some were private vehicles. I shuddered as I knew it could only be two kinds of people - Garland's pissed of men or Boris' pissed of comrades - and none of them were to my liking. The anchor straightened his tie and cleared his throat, giving the camera a serious face.

''_This is footage from our helicopter crew, just an hour ago, when police cars chased three vehicles down West 87_. _It is unclear who the people are, but one of them is believed to be a local gang leader who's been suspected for several drug related crimes, along with murder, for months. We are awaiting updates on the situation. Now, as for sports_ - ''

Sometime during the broadcast I had stopped breathing. Stopped blinking and moving altogether as all I could really do was manage a wide, frightful stare at the plasma screen. I swear I could hear Kai's jaw clenching and with a quick glance at me, he abruptly stood up and left. I didn't know just what to do, if I even could do anything, all I knew was that I was not leaving the TV out of my sight.

Not really hungry anymore, I pushed the plate away from me and fixed my eyes on the screen.

**X**

Kai returned moments later, his face stiff and his eyes dark and ominous. There was something foreboding about him and I felt uncomfortable looking at him for too long. Kai sat down by the kitchen table, eyes fixated on the screen just as intently as mine.

''Any updates?''

Stiffly I shook my head, not having moved for a while my body was starting to ache.

''No.''

''Hn.''

We sat silently, broodingly, watching and anticipating. I think we both had the same thing on our mind, which was the reason no one felt like voicing it. I was worried, hard enough as that was to swallow, but deep down somewhere I think Kai was a bit worried as well, and it made it much easier to deal with. Sometime during the waiting I had begun biting at my nails nervously, my stomach doing flips and spins like a doped up ballerina. I wanted to get there, wherever the hell ''there'' was. Not sure what I could really do about the situation it would just have felt so much better to have at least a false sense of control. Knowing deep down that it was out of my hands, at least being at the scene would have been more soothing and it sure beat sitting on pins and needles like some old wife waiting for her husband to return from the war.

Yes, that sounded gay to me too.

On the screen a commercial for running shoes was abruptly cut short and once again the new's anchor flickered onto the screen. In his stylish suit and with his billion dollar smile he looked much too at ease with the situation. The footage of the car chase reappeared and a bar sped past the screen, reading ''_Car chase on West 87 - local gang member and suspected murderer chased_'' rolled past the screen, but what really made my heart jump right up my brain just to crash land in my stomach was the added line ''_3 dead - 5 injured_''.

Suddenly I didn't feel like watching TV anymore.

''_Hello and welcome back_'' the man said, smiling politely as if the bastard couldn't have cared less. I wanted to do to his perfect teeth what brick walls did to small, porcelain cups. ''_The car chase seems to have come to a stop_ - '' I drew a sigh of relief. '' - _and the conflict seems to have relocated to the docks, where a shoot-out is currently taking place_.'' That sigh returned only for me to choke on it.

Kai gave me wary glances as I spat and coughed, losing my breath for the second time that morning.

''_Police are on the scene and we have reports that three people are dead and five are injured. We cannot yet confirm who has been injured or died, but we pray that it is not one of our brave officers. We will return with the 12 o'clock news to give you another update._''

I stared at the screen, blankly, distantly, my mind incessantly working to make sense of it all. But there was no making sense of anything anymore and I think I threw that ability away long ago. There was no way a sensible approach would turn out the way I wanted, and I knew the only way I would ever feel at some sort of ease was to throw that sensibility out the window and go with my gut on this one. I gave Kai a stark, hard look, and somehow I think he knew what I was going to say as he soon nodded.

''I'll get the car.''


	10. What They Say About Curiosity

This is the second to last chapter. It feels so gooooooood.

* * *

**Chapter Ten  
****What They Say About ****Curiosity**

The car ride over there was the longest, most excruciating ride in my life. Kai sat silent and tense, and though I knew him to be a fairly passive-aggressive driver, this time he was breaking so many laws I had a feeling that by the end of the night, someone was going to end up in jail.

We said nothing as I fiddled with the buttons on the radio, tuning into different news channels. But they all said the same thing. The shootouts were escalating, several people were wounded and an unknown, but hefty number, were assumed dead. The lump in my throat was harder than steel.

If there had been a faster way to get there, I'd have taken it, but Kai was pressing the pedal down so hard he couldn't help but let some of the pain in his foot slip through. He was tense, concentrated almost to the point where I feared his bones would break. Luckily, it wasn't a far drive to the docks, only a half hour, but every second felt like one second too long. I was nervously biting at my nails, an old habit from my childhood which only ever re-emerged in times of intense stress. And this, was by far, the most stressful situation I had ever been in.

As much as I tried not to let my thoughts race, like unruly horses, they stampeded through my mind and left me numb and aching at the same time, fear being the most prominent of emotions. Through all of this, I couldn't fight the feeling that this was all my fault.

''I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry''

Kai glanced at me, but I couldn't quiet down. I didn't even know who I was apologizing to. Kai? Some God? Myself, or Boris? It didn't matter. I had messed up and it was not going to turn out alright this time. There was a cold, ruthless feeling in my marrow telling me that this time, this time I had really done it.

Kai swerved around some cars, angry drivers honking at him but they disappeared in the dust behind us before the sounds even had time to die out. Kai's eyes were ablaze, harshly fixed on the road in front of us as if nothing else truly existed, and a part of me wished that were the case; that this had all been one terribly long, exhausting nightmare.

As the docks appeared in front of us, reality came back like a swift kick to the face. I'm no doctor, but I can swear I felt my heart stop for a moment. The car that I had desperately been wishing for to halt had now stopped and suddenly I felt myself reluctant to step out.

Outside the sounds of screams and gunshots blazed by, the sound barrier breaking and rebuilding, only to break again. Kai gave me a stern look before he opened his door.

''Wait here.''

''But - ''

''Just stay here, Rei!''

I didn't dare disobey him; that tone in his voice was unlike any I'd ever heard him use before. Truthfully, I was a bit relieved to have to stay in the car. It looked like a battlefield out there and I was not sure my legs would carry me through it.

Through the windshield I watched Kai get closer to the police tape, where a long line of officers stood; immediately three of them stepped up to Kai as he came close. Suddenly the car thing didn't feel like such a good idea anymore, as I couldn't hear what they were saying. I reached to roll down the window, but one particularly loud gunshot made me jump halfway out of my skin, immediately rolling the window all the way back up again. Frowning, biting my lip, I sank into the seat and watched the scene unfold.

Somewhere far behind the police tape, I could see people, bodies, some moving left and right like no tomorrow awaited them. Others lay not moving at all.

My throat was so dry it hurt as it shriveled up and blocked my airways. I had to remind myself to breathe as it seemed my brain had shut down, I hadn't noticed gripping the seat until my fingers started to ache. At the police line, things weren't looking any calmer.

Kai looked displeased, to say the least, but the officers looked even less happy with the situation. Two of them had started yelling at Kai, motioning for him to move away. Kai gave them one of his trademark glares before whipping out his cell phone as he headed back to the car.

I watched him tensely as he sat back down in the vehicle with me, talking quickly on the phone.

''Yes, yes I _know_. Damn it, don't you think I realize that? Well, what the hell do you want me to do?'' Kai sighed and drew his hand across his face, looking immensely tired, as if he had aged ten years just during the walk back to the car. ''Yeah, well, they won't let me inside, no surprise there. Yes. Yes. Damn it, I don't know, that's your job! Fix somebody down here that can do something! God!'' Kai hung up the phone and hurled it at the dashboard, the phone bouncing off the mahogany panel and almost hitting me in the head, had it not been for my reflexes.

I picked the phone up and turned it in my hand, inspecting it as I did not want to look at anything going on around me. Kai heaved a heavy sigh, leaning against the steering wheel, a sullen look on his face.

''This is no good.'' he murmured, more to himself, I suppose. Then he turned to me. ''We can't get in, go figure. They won't tell me what's happening and my lawyers are two hours away.''

I frowned.

''How long do you think... _this_'' I nodded towards the shooting zone ''will last?''

Kai shrugged. There was a low, but strong, humming sounds outside of the car, from a location I could not quite distinguish. It wasn't until a shadow fell over the car that I thought to look up, seeing a news channel helicopter in the sky.

''They want us to leave'' Kai said, looking up through the sunroof as well. ''Fucking hell''

I frowned.

''Kai, I - ''

Kai held a hand up and turned the ignition, gripping the wheel while ignoring his seatbelt.

''Don't. I don't want to hear it.''

''Kai, are we - '' I looked around myself in terror, frightened; I did not want to leave even if I did not know where else to go.

''We can't stay here'' Kai said bluntly, but there was something familiar about the way he looked at me.

I recognized it as his scheming glare. A glare reserved only for the most intricate, most risky, possibly also even idiotic, but perfectly brilliant, of plans. Without saying another word, I simply nodded and allowed myself to trust him. After all, I had done enough already. It was time to let people who knew what they were doing to handle the situation. All I had managed in the past few days had been to make things worse. Hell, there wouldn't even have been such a mess had I just kept my head on.

As the car backed out and sped away, I let my eyes linger on the scene, a somberness sinking over me, cold and heavy. I did not know what Kai was thinking, but I hoped, for all our sakes, that it would be something good.

The car sped up when it was well out o the police's range of vision and my stomach turned as I realized we were going the wrong way.

''Kai'' I glanced warily at him. It did not feel wise to question a man who was looking ready to lose his sanity anytime soon. I'd never seen his jaws so tightly clenched, or his eyes so focused and tense they were reddening with veins. But I did not want to end up on the wrong side of town either, missing the entire thing that would probably pretty much change everything. ''Kai, where are we going?''

''The Phoenix.''

''What?''

Kai nodded out the window, my eyes wandering I saw nothing but water and boats and old warehouses.

''The Phoenix'' Kai pressed as if I was some kind of idiot. ''The bridge they've been building.''

''The one under construction?'' I frowned. ''What about it?''

''It's not finished yet, mostly the skeleton, but I think if we do it right, we may be able to drive over it and get up behind the tape.''

I suddenly felt a whole new kind of fear, this one for my life as well, but different from the other times as I had never had the thought that my best friend, Kai of all people, to endanger my health – or his car.

''But… but it's… it's not finished yet! Wha… can you drive over it?''

Kai nodded.

''I think so.''

''You _think_ so? Kai, we're sitting in a big ass car here and I'm not –'' I shook my head and sighed. ''How do you even know this?''

''I helped fund it, I know everything. This car's just light enough so it might make it.''

''_Might_? Kai, I'm not a very big fan of your vocabulary right now.''

Kai gave me a glance out of the corner of his eye, but focused more intently on the road, his entire body so rigid I felt increasingly more worried. This plan was sounding worse by the minute.

''What's to say the police haven't already thought of this, then? I mean, it's a shootout! How often does that even happen?''

''Surprisingly often'' Kai sped up and swerved, missing the other cars around us by a hair, the car moving sleek like oil through the lanes as we rounded the neighborhood, the Phoenix bridge rising in the distance. I hoped it was thicker up close because from afar it looked thinner than my résumé.

''And the cops won't go there, their cars are too heavy''

I frowned.

''What if they have motorcycles?''

Kai glared at me.

''Well, that's just a risk we'll have to take.''

I stared at him.

''This is a stupid fucking plan. You know that, right? I mean, way out there stupid. It'd need a helmet if it were an actual person.''

Kai ignored me with a scoff, yet I still couldn't swallow this idea down. It was one thing if it had come from Takao or Daichi, someone insane enough and willing to risk it. But from Kai I had never expected such a thing. Sure, it was somewhat sneaky, but not nearly as safe or calculated as Kai's plans usually were. He always made sure they wouldn't come back to bite him later and this one didn't just have the possibility to bite us, if things did not go right, it would literally maim us.

But this was Kai's friend. No matter how much they fought or how horribly they seemed to get along, Boris was a former Neoborg, and the Neoborg took care of their own. They had too after all, as no one else ever had. I could understand his drive to get there, no matter the costs, I really could. I know it hadn't been a long time, but the short time Boris and I spent together had made him grow on me enough for me to feel like this was a risk I would simply have to take.

Besides, Boris had saved my life so many times it was about damn time I repaid him. I had no idea what we were supposed to do when, and if, we got there, and I'm not so sure that Kai knew either. It was a crazy plan, a stupid one as well, but it was a plan nonetheless and at the moment, I don't think either of us really cared for any of the consequences as long as we could get Boris home.

The unfinished bridge now a mere handful of feet away from us, I was displeased, and quite distressed, to find it was not much thicker up close. Large, thin and looming it resembled a skeletal serpent rising halfway out of the water, pillars of questionable stability holding it up. Thin rails were all that had been laid out across it, and I decided that if I wanted to get through this with my heart left in my chest, it was best if I simply just closed my eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Kai steeled himself and pushed the pedal as deeply down into the mat as he could without breaking it. The car screeched and whined, a death knell in my ears; and without warning the car sped forwards, pushing me into the backrest. Despite wanting to close my eyes they snapped open on their own accord, as if my morbid brain wanted me to see the idiocy of this idea while the world sped past around us.

Everything outside blurred into an incoherent mess of colors and the dirt-bronze rails underneath us wailed from the pressure. Kai gripped the steering wheel so hard I feared it would actually come loose, his face as white as his hands and sweat pooled across his forehead.

Gripping the seat for all I could, I tried to level my breathing when we rushed forward. Almost as if waking from a dream, the car had reached solid ground soon again – but not soon enough – and I felt my heart sag with relief. He swerved the car into the area, whipping up a thick cloud of dust I thought I could hear his chest thump.

Loosening my frightened grip, an imprint of my hands still in the leather moments later, I drew in a gasp so large I had to cough it up again. Adrenaline was high and hot through me; gushing forth through my veins I was in too much shock to really understand what emotion was appropriate. Thoughts swirled like dead flies in disturbed waters in my head. When I looked at Kai he looked a fair bit more collected than me, but his face had yet to regain its color.

''Do you see him?''

''Huh?''

At first I had a hard time understanding that the sounds that Kai's mouth was making were actually words; and much longer until I realized it was English.

''Do you see him?''

I looked outside the window to my right seeing lots of blurry people move around. The shots were clearer, more audible as we were now considerably much closer. People seemed to move around so quickly I had not time to register their positions in my mind, but I tried my hardest to find a familiar face. My heart grew gradually colder with every second that ticked by without me recognizing anyone, and I was struck by a sudden panic.

''Kai, what if he's… what if he… oh god – '' without another word I slammed the door open, leaned out of the car and vomited. My head was spinning so much I felt as if I stood up I would die, or at least my bones would break like little jars of clay.

I could feel Kai's gaze upon me, but tried not to focus on anything other than soothing my stomach. Gunshots echoed hard and loud in my ears, and I wasn't sure whether the ringing in them was from damage or my jackhammer-headache. Wiping my mouth, I put my head between my knees for a moment. Even at a moment like this I did not want to risk getting vomit all over Kai's expensive leather seats.

And then I heard him. Distantly at first, then clear as if he'd stood right next to me. The loud, wrathful, familiar voice I'd feared I'd never hear again. Whipping my head up instantly, as if the nausea had never existed, I caught sight of him at the edge of the closest jetty. He was firing his gun, but no shots emerged, realizing it was empty Boris resorted to throwing the gun at his assailant. The latter being someone I wished I hadn't recognized, the mere sight of him made my blood feel as if it were to burn through my skin.

''There he is'' I gasped, turning to look at Kai wide-eyed and close to hyperventilating. ''There - there he is! Kai! He's over there!''

A loud roar turned my attention back towards the two fighting; Boris was now clutching his face, his body rigid with emotion. It felt painful just to look at him. As he removed his hands I saw the stark red, such a contrast against his face, his nose looking nearly crushed. Boris yelled something even the water did not carry, and proceeded to tackle Garland to the ground.

''Kai, we have to get over there! They're killing each other!''

''Close the door.''

I did not need to be told twice, and within a second the car was already moving. The jetty came closer much faster than I had anticipated, and seeing the face of the man who, for some reason, I felt was responsible for all of this, something inside of me broke. Maybe I wanted to put the blame on someone else, maybe the guilt was too much or the fear too large, I don't know but that moment I felt that Garland was the sole reason for all of my troubles. I watched as a man whom I'd previously been neutral about turned to nothing short of a monster in my eyes.

A demon, a plague, a disease that destroyed everything it breathed on. My heart was pounding so hard, getting a breath down my throat felt nearly impossible. As my vision shook, like my eyes themselves were vibrating, I barely registered what I did next.

Kai's surprised protests as I threw myself over him and pressed his leg down on the gas pedal, wouldn't register in my mind until hours later. Right then all I saw, all I heard, all I knew was the smug look on Garland's face, the blood chilling hate in his eyes as he twisted Boris' arm. I hadn't considered, before, what could turn a person into something so like a monster, the resemblance was frightening.

What made good men sway and what made questionable morals rot completely? Had such things really been happening under my nose for all these years? Had I really failed to notice? Something, something deep and dark inside of me, stirred as all rationality drowned in the noise of my pulse. I could feel Kai's hand pulling at me, but I would not let go of the wheel as I directed the car towards the only thing that made any sense that moment.

Garland hadn't noticed the car at first, and had he been anybody else, it'd have been too late. But Garland was a well trained man, his reflexes well enough to match my own, and when the hood of the car was supposed to have hit him, instead it hit nothing but air as the man gracefully leapt out of the way.

That was the moment Kai gained enough momentum to push me back into my seat, my head bashing against the window the ringing in my ears intensified. Everything I knew after that was a blur. I could feel my body getting thrown around, but since everything was already spinning around me I had no real grasp of what was happening. When my vision cleared, the pain burst through my skull but lessened in force, I saw the last few inches of the jetty appear.

The next few seconds happened so fast I barely had time to react. One minute I was seeing my own reflection in the cold, murky waves of the water, the next the car had done a 180 so harshly my neck cracked somewhere inside. The car came to a halt a mere breath away from the edge, the front turned towards the two people we had almost run over.

Kai sucked in a deep breath through his teeth, eyeing me wide-eyed with anger and shock. I was pretty shocked myself, as I had no idea what had just happened. As if my foot had just acted on its own accord, it wasn't until now that it dawned on me what I had really tried to do.

''Rei… you…'' Kai had no words, and for the first time I didn't take his silence as a good thing.

I nodded at him, blinking, my eyes were watering from the increased, pulsating pain radiating through my head and spreading through my body. Still trying to catch my breath, I turned to see if the two grey haired men were still there.

And they were. Boris was getting up on his feet, having thrown himself to the ground his knees and hands were bleeding. Looking at me with the most chastising, belittling glare I'd ever received, there was something else in his face I didn't instantly recognize. Had I been completely crazy, I'd say it was gratitude.

For what exactly, I didn't know. It certainly wasn't for me almost flattening him to the ground.

Garland saw the opportunity and swung at an unguarded Boris, punching him in the side of his throat. Boris instantly doubled over, coughing and gasping after painful gusts of air. His eyes narrowing, pupils so small they were almost completely consumed by the blue, he looked completely, utterly, beyond saving insane. Regaining his breath he lunged forwards, grabbing hold of Garland's ponytail with one hand and repeatedly punching him in the face with his other.

Blood and the sound of crushed bones hit me, and without any further thought, I was out of the car and up on my feet. My head was cringing, the world doing a sudden tilt around me I felt myself nearly toppling over, but regained my balance at the last second.

It was when Boris had his large hands around Garland's neck that I saw it, the little silver glimmer from a slick, thin blade, grasped tightly, sneakily, in the hands of Garland. I didn't have time to react. Didn't have time to scream. I threw myself out in the air and there was nothing else to it. All thoughts stopped, all motion but the one of my roaring muscles and the screaming adrenaline, and as the world passed me by in swooshing shades and odd shapes, I heard the distinct sound of a male scream before I hit something soft.

I didn't know whose scream it was, nor did I know whose body I had hit, all I knew was the feeling of warm, metallic liquid splashing across my face and the sound of bone and flesh hitting asphalt. The next second I was lying down and the world was spinning again. I hoped I wouldn't suffer any brain damage from all this abuse to my cranium. Not that it would really have made any difference.

The world around me seemed quiet for a moment, dull and distant as if I was hearing it all through the tin of a can. Distantly I could hear sirens, shouts and gunshots; the stagnation of a battle as several pairs of feet came rushing towards us. I heard the sound of a car door slamming, someone screaming, telephones dialing and someone groaning in pain.

I blinked to try to get the blood out of my eyes, but only succeeded in letting it seep in deeper. Tears burned at my retinas, my vision as good as useless I saw everything through the pink lens of my and someone else's body fluids. I had to hold my breath for a moment to make sure that my heart was still beating, and even as I heard it's arrhythmic beating I wasn't all that sure that I was still alive. I tried to turn my head, but my neck still hurt from Kai's violent driving. Every muscle was tense in preparation for more pain, and I found myself curling into myself in a defensive ball, shielding me against anything that could hurt, though nothing would surprise me anymore.

The silence soon faded, little by little as if someone was removing cotton from my ears. The ringing rose and sank, remaining a faint echo in my ears until I could hear clearly again. Wiping at my eyes, I seemed to have gained myself a nice new gash in my face. I also thought my nose might have been broken, as it was feeling strangely hot and thudding.

Blinking, drops of saltwater and blood falling off my lashes, I tried raising myself on my elbows, fell to the ground, hit my chin, cursed for a few moments, then tried again. Able to sit upright now, the taste of blood was now filling my mouth and I wasn't sure whether or not it was my blood.

I took a deep breath as I wasn't too sure I wanted to know what was going on quite yet. Who knew what would await me if I did? Sighing, evening my breathing, I heard a group of people approach us and in sudden alarm, I snapped my eyes open and whipped around.

To my relief, the people running towards us were not, in fact, Garland's nor any of Boris' comrades. Instead they were men and women, clad in the clothes of paramedics, and a handful of police officers seemed to be heading my way. Two policemen walked past me, instead going up to Kai, while the rest wasted no time assessing our situation.

''Sir, can you stand up?''

I blinked, at first not certain of where the voice had come from; it was hard to really pinpoint any exact locations. My brain had yet to kick back into action, but eventually I noticed a nice looking woman smiling down at me.

''Sir? Can you hear me?''

A bright light shone into my eye and I jolted backwards, the light stinging and hurtful I suddenly did not like this woman all that much.

''Pupils are contracting normally. Sir, do you know where you are? Are you feeling dizzy or nauseous?''

I opened my mouth to speak, but it was only filled with more blood. Spluttering, I almost choked on the bile that rose, but managed to push it down as I gave her a thin, hazy look.

''Yes, but that could be because of the amount of blood in my mouth right now.''

She gave me a crooked smile, nodding towards her partners.

''Hey, this one's fine, I'll take him with me to the - ''

''Can I get some help here?''

Suddenly the paramedics started rushing, like confused little ants running around in a nest someone had just trampled on. I looked around me to try to see what was happening, but regretted it as I saw them working on someone, someone with the hint of a grey tousle of hair; covered in blood it was hard to tell. The face was all mashed up, the body in such a weird posture I couldn't figure out whose it was.

I desperately looked around me, panic rising like clawing rats trying to crawl out of my chest, I suddenly found it hard to breathe again. As I didn't find a second body, I clutched the arm of the paramedic, staining her jacket a dark, rusty blood red.

''Please!'' I pleaded, my voice turning very brittle. ''I'm... I... Who is that?''

She smiled and put a steadying hand on my back, trying to help me to stand up.

''Sir, if you will just come with me to the ambulance - ''

On shaky legs I got up, trembling as I fell against her.

''I think I've... my ankle'' I said, looking around me still as if I've lost something. ''Please, tell me, who is that?''

''Sir, it's better if you just come with me and let the police handle this.''

I grabbed her collar, panic scorching through my eyes I think I frightened her, my voice a strained, high-pitched plead.

''Please, just tell me who it is! I won't be any trouble, I swear! Just... at least tell me if he's going to live!''

She smiled at me again, looking torn between annoyance and sympathy. Her eyes wandered towards the body, surrounded by paramedics trying to stop the bleeding, checking for a pulse and screaming at each other.

''I can assure you my colleagues will do the very best they can.''

She put her hand on my shoulder and much like a shepherd, herded me out away from the jetty towards the parked vehicles, trying hard to speed up my pace. I kept throwing worried glances over my shoulder, straining my already cramping neck, looking for signs of life, for Kai, for Boris, for anything that could make just the tiniest bit of sense.

But there was nothing, and I left feeling completely, utterly hollow.

**X**

A feeling had been spreading through my chest since I sat down. Something cold and ruthless, spreading through my body like a disease, it killed everything in its way, leaving behind it a rotten, hollowed out shell. I felt empty, and yet my every thought filling me with screams. The paramedic was just about done stitching me up, checking me for any serious injuries she gave me a solemn look and smiled.

''I think you should come with us to the hospital, sir, you may have a concussion. And that neck and ankle should be looked at, you may have gotten a whiplash injury.''

I looked at her, eyes fogged and unresponsive.

''Your friend is fine, by the way'' she said, and when I raised a brow she nodded towards the sleek, navy blue sports car parked a few feet away. I drew a breath of relief. ''He's fine, just a little roughed up... the car's fine too. He wants to talk to you. Are you feeling up for it?''

I nodded, slowly as to not aggravate my muscles. With a nod in response she disappeared, and soon I felt the looming, ominous presence of Kai. I could feel how much he wanted to yell at me, but he looked too tired to even manage a half-decent glare.

''Kai - '' I started, but he just shook his head and sighed.

''That was the stupidest thing I have ever seen someone do. Not even Takao would be so goddamn stupid as to - ''

I smiled weakly. At least, as long as Kai was yelling at me, something felt normal. I'd have been more frightened if he hadn't yelled at me, at least now I knew things were normal between us.

''Really, Rei'' Kai shook his head again, like a parent on the verge of giving up, sitting down next to me he crossed his arms. ''What the hell was that supposed to accomplish? We could have died, you know. We could have crashed into the lake and fucking drowned! What the hell were you thinking?''

''I don't know what I was thinking!'' I croaked. ''I just… I don't know, Kai. I just… I panicked, I… I didn't know… They were fighting and I… I'm sorry. Kai I'm really sorry, I'm… I'm horrible! God, I could have _killed_ you!''

This sudden guilt had been gnawing at me for a while, but now got me in its complete mercy, and I felt sick. I just barely managed to calm myself down as to not throw up again, forcing myself to look at him. I was too ashamed to really meet his eyes, but I needed to take my responsibility. I had caused Kai immense danger, not only could I have killed myself, but Kai, Boris and even Garland – even if he wasn't innocent in that manner, it was still a _life_.

''Don't you ever do anything that stupid again.''

I gave him an apologetic look, my vision blurring, I found it hard to keep focus on one thing for too long.

''I'm so sorry Kai. I can't… words can't ever make this right. I hope…'' I didn't continue that sentence, I deserved no mercy. I would understand if Kai would never speak to me again. Whatever the punishment I would accept it.

''Rei… just…'' Kai sighed. ''You're a goddamn idiot.''

I flinched.

''But'' Kai continued. ''Right now we need to get you to the hospital.''

I bit my lip, feeling this was Kai's way of saying he forgave me. I didn't know what I had done to deserve it, but felt the icy glare he was giving me was something to be grateful for. Reluctant, I swallowed to wet my dry throat, but managed only to aggravate it. I wasn't too sure if I wanted to ask the question that was on my mind.

''Boris?''

Kai said nothing, giving me a flat look I suddenly felt like I was tilting over again. Looking away, he spotted the previous paramedic and waved her towards us.

''We'll talk about this later. You need to rest now.''

''But – ''

One glare was all he needed to shut me up. The paramedic was soon on the scene, hosting me up on the cot, Kai jumped into the ambulance and she closed the doors. Lying down, my body was catching up with the ache, but I didn't stop to ponder it as a much heavier question was on my mind. Where was Boris? Where was Garland? If any of them had died, it would all have been my fault, _my_ wrongdoing. I would be a murderer. Could I live with that? Would they lock me up? They should, I deserved it. More so than Boris ever had.

But maybe that wasn't so bad. Maybe, I hoped, prison could be a comfort. A refuge, a sanctuary away from danger. Maybe then I wouldn't have to continuously look over my shoulder, and although the sins would never be repented, at least it was a try. And that's all I really remember from the ride to the hospital. I knew my eyes were open, but even to this day I can't remember much else. All I can remember, was the desperate hoping that his time would be the last part of this entire, insane chapter in my life.

That maybe, finally, this running would end.


End file.
